Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling Page A

conversation is cheering me up.
    Sam glares at me. “Thanks but no thanks.”
    Redhead squeezes his hand. “I promise to take very good care of you. I’ll be gentle.”
    Sam grins. And that’s the moment I know he is totally screwed. Because a lifetime of habit kicks in and he can’t resist her.
    “I’m sure you will,” he says, allowing himself to be led off.
    It’s cruel but I have to watch.
    Maybe I won’t be the one with the worst afternoon. Fingers crossed.

Chapter eleven
     
    I’m vaguely aware of Alicia clipping something onto me, but mostly all I can feel are her hands running over my chest.
    Our flirting is so blatant, I’m surprised Ally doesn’t feel like a voyeur, watching us from her nearby viewing point.
    Alicia places her head on my shoulder. “Feel good?”
    I lean back, putting our bodies in contact. “Excellent.”
    “Great. Now, all you have to do is run down this slope, take off, and fly.”
    Huh. She wasn’t just saucily feeling me up. It hits me that I’m now harnessed into a tandem paraglider in front of her. That chilling realization must mean…
    I finally, truly look at the view in front of me, dropping off sharply into nothingness. I go pale as I realize that there is only a few feet of land between me and the blue void.
    I’m going to spew.
    “Gorgeous,” Ally sighs happily.
    I shoot her an “are you stupid?” look. It’s my worst nightmare.
    “Wait. We’re really going to? No. I don’t think so.”
    “Count of three,” Alicia says briskly. “One, two—”
    I blackout before she hits “three”.
    Later at the bowling alley, I mimic the crunching of Alicia’s wrist to a highly amused Rachel and Ian, who sport matching vintage bowling shirts.
    “Apparently, I landed full-on dead weight on top of her wrist and broke it,” I explain.
    “That’s when the ambulance arrived,” Ally adds unhelpfully.
    “You’re loving this, aren’t you?” I ask her.
    She beams at me. “He was out cold at that point.”
    “I, for one, am impressed with Sam’s dedication to the pursuit of shagging. Going so far he’d jump off a cliff,” Ian teases.
    “No, honey,” Rach corrects him. “The real strategy was to faint, causing bodily harm to this poor girl who he could then nurse back to health. Sam, you are a twisted genius.”
    “Finished busting my balls? I was a helpless victim hypnotized by her hot looks.”
    “You’re a big boy,” Rachel scolds. “You could have used your words.”
    “He just wanted to chat up the scrummy girl,” Ian agrees.
    “At least no one giggled at you,” Ally says. She’s still sensitive about the brunette.
    “No, they were too busy filming me for YouTube,” I shoot back.
    Looking back, it was kind of ridiculous how far I let this go. What can I say? Me dog. Her female.
    I eye the ten-pin formation at the end of the lane, then heft my bowling ball, racing forward on my tiptoes like Fred Flintstone. I let the ball fly.
    “Sti-rike!” I call out in my best Fred voice.
    The ball rolls into the gutter. I pretend to pout.
    Ally shoots me a consoling smile. “Your optimism is adorable, but face it. Flintstone physics don’t work in our world.”
    “Ye of little faith. One day I’ll do it and who’ll be laughing then?”
    Rachel gets up to take her turn. Probably the only girl who bowls in a pencil skirt, but she manages to make that whole Vegas Rat Pack vibe work for her, so what the hell. She lets her ball go just as a giggling bunch of six-year-olds traipse by.
    I recognize their chaperone. Nikki: a freshman drama major who’s elevated looking hot to an art form. Also one of the rare exceptions to the “want more” rule.
    With Nikki, I barely got my pants on before the lights were on and the door open, awaiting my exit. Bless her.
    “Wow.” Ian has seen Nikki.
    “Where?” Rachel cranes her head. “Ah.”
    “That’s allowed?” I may have to give Rachel more credit.
    “Sure,” she says. “If looking is a threat, the