Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling Page B

relationship has other problems.
    “Huh.” Then it occurs to me. “Nikki is perfect for our first lesson.”
    “I thought paragliding was our first lesson,” Ally says.
    “Yes, but you failed it. Nikki is Falco personified.”
    “Are you speaking English?” Ian asks me.
    I ignore him to speak to Ally. “Watch and model your behavior on hers.”
    I head toward Nikki with the others following at a discreet distance.
    I catch up with her at the snack counter. Ally, Rachel, and Ian pretend to scan the vast choices of soggy nachos and chocolate to cover their shameless eavesdropping.
    I just hope Ally doesn’t pull out a notebook. Not out of the realm of possibility.
    I put my hand on Nikki’s arm. “Nikki. How are you, sexy?”
    She gives me a total cocktease smile and my body responds.
    “Sam Cruz,” she purrs in a throaty voice. “Been a while. But I’m very good.”
    Judging by the blood rushing away from my head, yes, she is.
    “Glad to hear it,” I reply. “I was thinking we should get together, but you have a bad habit of blowing people off.”
    “Only the deserving,” she says.
    “Good things come to those who wait?” I ask cheekily.
    “Baby,” she murmurs, “it’s gonna be like Christmas.”
    “Aunt Nikki,” a high-pitched voice pipes up, “why does he get Christmas early?”
    We look down at the scruffy kid tugging on Nikki, a pair of knotted bowling shoes in her hand.
    “I’m really, really good,” I explain to the little girl.
    Nikki just laughs. She unties the shoes and hands them back to her niece.
    The girl turns to me. “You like presents? I rip mine open.”
    I keep my tone rated G but my answer is an R for Nikki. “I unwrap them slowly.”
    “I hope there’s a little sumthin’ under the tree for me,” Nikki responds, totally getting it.
    “Why?” the kid demands. “You haven’t been good. You’ve been mean all day.”
    Nikki turns the girl around toward her lane. “Shoes. Now.”
    The girl scowls at her, but seeing the look on Nikki’s face, leaves.
    I wait until the kid is gone before adding “I’m a firm believer in the spirit of giving.”
    “Even if I’ve been naughty?” Nikki asks.
    “Especially if you’ve been naughty.”
    Nikki rewards me with a very feline grin.
    It’s so on.

Chapter twelve
     
    Ian looks impressed. “Cracking.”
    “A stellar performance on both sides,” Rachel agrees.
    I glance over at Sam and Nikki, my lesson clearly forgotten in their hormone parade. “You think they have DVDs?”
    Surprisingly, Sam does return to us. I’m guessing Nikki is busy with the rugrats that evening but has promised him future delights since he seems pretty pleased with himself, whistling cheerfully.
    The four of us make a quick stop for cat food because apparently Sam really does have a cat, then head to my place to hang out and watch a movie.
    Mom is racing around transferring items from her daytime purse to her nighttime one because she’s meeting Dad downtown for a date.
    “Don’t eat me out of house and home,” she scolds cheerfully.
    “Aunt Elise, got any diet root beer?” asks Rachel.
    “Check the laundry room. It’s not cold though.”
    “Got it.” Rach makes a quick trip off the kitchen to the laundry room for her diet caffeine fix.
    Mom shakes her head at Sam drinking straight out of the juice container. “Glass, Sam. Now. You know better.”
    He stops mid-chug and looks up guiltily. “I was going to finish it.”
    “Not cool, kiddo. What were you, raised by wolves?”
    “Yeah, you. Foxy lady.”
    “Ewww!” I groan loudly.
    Mom thinks it’s hilarious. “You’ll be glad when you look as good as I do one day,” she tells me. “Now play nicely and have fun. I’m off to get my husband drunk and have my way with him.”
    “Moooom!” I’m horrified.
    Mom grins. “That never gets old. Bye kids.”
    She leaves.
    I rock in the fetal position for a bit.
    Rachel returns with some pop cans. “Oh grow up. Be glad you got the