squeeze back the flood of tears that threatened to burst forth.
“Of course I will collect for Lana,” he said.
And then my face was against Rand’s chest, and his arms encircled my back. He stroked my hair as the dam broke, and I soaked his shirt with tears. In between my shuddering sobs, I heard the sound of his soothing murmurs.
When my tears subsided, I sniffed sharply and swept my fingers across my wet cheeks. I looked up at him. “I can never thank you enough, Rand.”
One of his arms still held me around the waist, and the other had moved from the back of my head to my cheek. I tipped my face up to his, and as if we had the same thought at the same time, we leaned toward each other and our lips met.
Rand’s mouth was warm and sensuous against mine, and an unexpected bolt of desire shot through me.
When we parted for a breath, I whispered his name. He responded by kissing me with more force, his fingers moving from my cheek to tangle into my hair. I locked my arms around his neck and rose to my tiptoes.
I could feel my pulse pounding in my lips, behind my eyes, and down my inner thighs. I pressed into him, and he made a low hum of appreciation against my lips.
My mind spun wildly—where could we go, somewhere private?
I pulled back and opened my mouth with the intention of telling him I wanted to go somewhere we could be alone. The moment had arrived. The energy between us was building, and I had the perfect chance to give myself to him as I’d planned. But something stopped me, and instead of carrying through with it, I just stared at him mutely.
I realized that the main reason I’d wanted to lose my virginity was to get back at Court. But what would it really accomplish? It had been my choice to wait with Court. Knowing there was no future with him, I needed to do what was right for me. Me alone. Maya without Court.
A fiery burst of light overhead made us both look up. We watched as debris from the battles over Earthenfell streaked through the atmosphere like comets. It was a thrilling and terrifying display.
“Praise the overlords, praise Lord Toric,” we said in unison three times.
I took it as confirmation from the universe that I was right to wait, to not give myself to a man in the haphazard way that I’d intended.
I looked into Rand’s eyes. “Let’s find music. A place to dance until our feet can’t hold us up any longer.”
His face broke out into a grin, and he grabbed my hand. We found the noisiest part of mid-town, where there was a seven-piece band playing rollicking tunes.
We lost ourselves in the crowded dance floor, and I let the music, the sparkle in Rand’s eyes, and the press of bodies sweep away much of my sorrow and fear.
We danced until the early morning hours until the band finally stopped and began to pack up their instruments.
Exhausted and sweaty, we walked hand-in-hand toward Southside Borough. When I realized that Rand had sunk deep in thought, I looked up at him questioningly.
He stopped, moved in front of me, and then grasped both of my hands in his.
“Maya, I—” He cut himself off with a sharp exhale. He swallowed and started again. “It’s killing me that this must be the end for us. If you were staying, I would ask you to be my wife.”
I started to protest, to beg him to stop speaking because I suddenly couldn’t bear to hear the words. I didn’t want my mind to jump to that possibility, to envision a life with Rand, when I would be leaving Earthenfell forever in less than a day.
He quickly interrupted me. “I know you do not love me now,” he said, clearly misinterpreting my reason for trying to silence him. “But if I’d had the chance, I would have made you so happy and filled your heart with such joy you would have had no choice but to love me.”
“Rand, you are a better man than I deserve,” I whispered, barely forcing out the words around the lump in my throat.
“Don’t say that,” he said fiercely. He squeezed my hands so
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