Sapient Salvation 1: The Selection (Sapient Salvation Series) by Jayne Faith, Christine Castle Page A

tightly pain flared in my fingers. “You are the most beautiful, kind, and radiant woman on Earthenfell. I’ve loved you for a decade, and I will love you until the end of my days.” His eyes welled in the starlight, but to my relief no tears fell.
    I didn’t know how to respond. I did care for Rand, but the force of his feelings hit me like a punch to the stomach and it was suddenly too much. On top of everything else, I couldn’t bear the weight of his love and the burden of his loss that would come when I left.
    I wiggled my fingers to loosen one hand from his grip and reached up to touch his cheek. “It pains me, too, that we will not have the chance.” I simply couldn’t summon the will to say more.
    When I began to step away, his face clouded. I felt bad that he seemed to expect me to say more, but the pull of home was drawing my mind elsewhere. And even though we wouldn’t see each other again after I left, it didn’t feel right to exaggerate my feelings just to make him feel good. I was as good as gone. The quicker he moved on, the better.
    Although we walked hand-in-hand through the dark streets, Rand seemed much more distant than just an arm’s length away. A few times, I began to say something to him but then stopped myself, realizing that anything I might say would probably sound inane and inadequate.
    The brutal truth was that I couldn’t waste any more time or energy on Rand’s feelings. Not with what lay ahead for me.
    My chest began to tighten as we arrived at my street. How many more times would I come home and open the front door of the house I’d lived in since birth? Maybe once or twice more before I had to leave for Calisto? The thought was so overwhelming, so stark, it nearly took my breath away.
    A few steps from my front door, I forced my attention back to Rand. I stopped and tugged on his hand, compelling him to halt and turn toward me. I couldn’t return his romantic feelings, but I did owe him my deepest gratitude.
    “You have always been so wonderful to me, Rand,” I said softly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have a long time ago. Please don’t allow yourself to languish because of my departure. You only have to get through one more Selection, and then you’ll be free. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can get engaged, get married, have your own family. And you should.”
    His thumb swept back and forth over the back of my hand, and he looked down at his shoes. When he looked up at me, there was a gleam in his eye that I wasn’t sure how to interpret, but for the briefest of moments, it made me uneasy. Then he blinked and his expression hardened.
    He let go of my hand and shoved both of his in his pockets. “I will look after Lana and see that her quotas are taken care of.”
    Then he put his head down, moved past me, and walked toward the street. I watched him, my mouth dropping open with bewilderment at the abruptness of his departure. When he continued down the street without a backward glance, I snapped my mouth closed and went to the door. Something about the way Rand left felt oddly open-ended, despite what I’d said to him, but I couldn’t afford the effort of analysis.
    Inside, a candle on a side table had burned almost down to its stubby end. Someone stirred on the sofa—Lana.
    I tiptoed inside, but when she sat up I wasn’t really sorry that I’d woken her. As always when we were apart for more than a couple of hours, I craved her company. It was almost a physical relief to be in the same room with her again, like stepping into a bit of shade on a hot day.
    “What time is it?” she whispered sleepily.
    “I’m not sure.” As I sat down, she shifted her legs to make room for me. I faced her, pulling my knees up and clasping my arms around them. “It’s still dark out. After three but before four, maybe?”
    “Did Rand take you to mid-town?” she asked.
    She pulled her knees up too, facing me. Bookends. That’s