Some of them hit two, three times there wasn’t much to bandage, wasn’t much to do but sit and hold their hand while they slipped away.
Just boys. One man with stripes on his sleeve, older man, past his prime, died looking at his feet. But mostly just boys and they died hard, asking for their mammies or sweethearts and wanting us to tell them it would be all right.
It wasn’t. Some not wounded so bad, hit in the arm or cut fine by bullets passing close, they got up and started walking back north. We eased the rest the best we could and just at dark some men they come in ambulances and started loading.
Before they’d pick the soldiers up they’d riptheir shirts open to show their bellies. Seemed stupid so I asked one when Lucy and me were helping to load them.
“We look to see if they’ve been hit in the guts. If they’ve been hit there we can’t help them. Gut wounds might live a day or two but they always die so we just leave them.”
Said it like he was talking about meat. Said it while we’re stepping past men with belly wounds just laying there. Heard every word he said and knew they were going to die. Lucy she turned away and I could see she was crying and I felt stinging in my eyes.
The ambulances left and there were still four men there on the ground, all hit in the bellies and though they cried and were the most pitiful thing I’d ever seen the ambulance drivers turned their teams and left without them.
“We’ll stay.” Lucy she said it like there wouldn’t be any arguing and I nodded.
“Yes. We’ll stay awhile.”
Didn’t take two days. We couldn’t move the four men and they were scattered some apart so we’d sit with one and then another and hold their hands. They were all thirsty and I tried giving water to one but he screamed when it went to his belly and so we stopped.
We cried some more. They cried. One gaveme a letter soaked with blood that he had inside his shirt and asked me to send it to a girl name of Margaret and I did too. Carried that letter over a year and then sent it.
One long day. Longest day of my whole life except one. The last one he passed over the next evening, almost exactly one day after the battle. Soldiers they kept marching past, heading south, but when they saw us they didn’t help. Turned their eyes away and walked by fast and Lucy she said, “They don’t want to see what can come on them later.”
I think she was right. I thought on burying the dead men but all we had to dig with was the butcher knife and I thought they’d come and get the bodies later anyway. I prayed over them as much as I could remember from prayers Delie and I said. Since I didn’t have anything to use for writing I remembered on their names. Not last names, just first. One boy he looked at me a long time and said, “My name is Carl. Please don’t forget me.”
I started crying thinking on it. Crying now writing on it. They were all going to die and nobody would know where they died or even who they were so I got their names and remembered on them.
Elijah.
Robert.
Jim.
Carl.
I see them now the way they were then. Young, scared and dying and I remembered on them.
Still do.
NINE
Later I was never sure whether Laura she found us or we found her. Didn’t matter so long as we found each other, way I look at it.
When the four boys died we left that place and kept on moving south. There were more and more soldiers and guns and wagons moving on the road, so many of them that it made traveling hard and slow because we had to get off the road so much to let them go on by.
Slowed us down to a frog crawl. By this time we were running short on food and when we went by a plantation name of Haven Hall we turned in. Figured to see if they had some vittles and halfway down the lane coming to the house there stood a field of sweet corn to the side.
’Course the soldiers had been at the corn and most of it was gone. But corn it don’t all come ripe at once and the ears too green
Just boys. One man with stripes on his sleeve, older man, past his prime, died looking at his feet. But mostly just boys and they died hard, asking for their mammies or sweethearts and wanting us to tell them it would be all right.
It wasn’t. Some not wounded so bad, hit in the arm or cut fine by bullets passing close, they got up and started walking back north. We eased the rest the best we could and just at dark some men they come in ambulances and started loading.
Before they’d pick the soldiers up they’d riptheir shirts open to show their bellies. Seemed stupid so I asked one when Lucy and me were helping to load them.
“We look to see if they’ve been hit in the guts. If they’ve been hit there we can’t help them. Gut wounds might live a day or two but they always die so we just leave them.”
Said it like he was talking about meat. Said it while we’re stepping past men with belly wounds just laying there. Heard every word he said and knew they were going to die. Lucy she turned away and I could see she was crying and I felt stinging in my eyes.
The ambulances left and there were still four men there on the ground, all hit in the bellies and though they cried and were the most pitiful thing I’d ever seen the ambulance drivers turned their teams and left without them.
“We’ll stay.” Lucy she said it like there wouldn’t be any arguing and I nodded.
“Yes. We’ll stay awhile.”
Didn’t take two days. We couldn’t move the four men and they were scattered some apart so we’d sit with one and then another and hold their hands. They were all thirsty and I tried giving water to one but he screamed when it went to his belly and so we stopped.
We cried some more. They cried. One gaveme a letter soaked with blood that he had inside his shirt and asked me to send it to a girl name of Margaret and I did too. Carried that letter over a year and then sent it.
One long day. Longest day of my whole life except one. The last one he passed over the next evening, almost exactly one day after the battle. Soldiers they kept marching past, heading south, but when they saw us they didn’t help. Turned their eyes away and walked by fast and Lucy she said, “They don’t want to see what can come on them later.”
I think she was right. I thought on burying the dead men but all we had to dig with was the butcher knife and I thought they’d come and get the bodies later anyway. I prayed over them as much as I could remember from prayers Delie and I said. Since I didn’t have anything to use for writing I remembered on their names. Not last names, just first. One boy he looked at me a long time and said, “My name is Carl. Please don’t forget me.”
I started crying thinking on it. Crying now writing on it. They were all going to die and nobody would know where they died or even who they were so I got their names and remembered on them.
Elijah.
Robert.
Jim.
Carl.
I see them now the way they were then. Young, scared and dying and I remembered on them.
Still do.
NINE
Later I was never sure whether Laura she found us or we found her. Didn’t matter so long as we found each other, way I look at it.
When the four boys died we left that place and kept on moving south. There were more and more soldiers and guns and wagons moving on the road, so many of them that it made traveling hard and slow because we had to get off the road so much to let them go on by.
Slowed us down to a frog crawl. By this time we were running short on food and when we went by a plantation name of Haven Hall we turned in. Figured to see if they had some vittles and halfway down the lane coming to the house there stood a field of sweet corn to the side.
’Course the soldiers had been at the corn and most of it was gone. But corn it don’t all come ripe at once and the ears too green
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