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be nothing but time--to think about Justine and Paul Carsons, and whether one had anything to do with the other. And since a few hours of calming distraction were probably about the closest I was going to get to sleep, I would take them when they came.
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CHAPTER 5
VANESSA ... my Nessa ... come out, come out, wherever you are... .
I shot up on the couch. My heart beat so fast and so loud, it took a second to hear the cartoons on TV and the DJ chatting in the kitchen. My eyes darted around the room, taking in the thin line of light shining between the drawn shades and the window ledges, the plastic container of wilted salad on the coffee table, and the duck-shaped clock on the shelf above the fireplace: 7:20.
Big Poppa had been right. After receiving the green light from Louis and hauling bins of dishes for ten hours, I'd been so exhausted by the time I got home, my body had finally relented.
I grabbed the remote from the floor, turned off the cartoon, and flopped back down. I now saw Justine every time I closed my eyes. And unlike when I was awake, when her smile and blue eyes flashed before me every time I blinked, in the dream
59
she didn't look like the Justine I wanted to remember. She was too thin, too frail. Her skin was gray, not ivory, and mottled with yellow and purple patches. Her dark hair hung in thick tangled ropes down her back, and her blue eyes glowed white. And when she called out for me, a searing pain sliced through my skull.
I reached for the cordless phone on the coffee table, eager to replace Justine's voice with someone else's. I'd just pressed the Boston area code when a loud tapping sounded in the kitchen.
It's just a bad muffler on a passing car ... or a boat with motor trouble on the lake ... or Mr. Carmichael, back from Vermont and doing yard work ...
"No more sleep for you," I said when the tapping sounded again and I realized someone was knocking on the kitchen door. Not sure who'd be visiting so early in the morning, I finished dialing home before answering. "Hi, Dad," I said loudly when he picked up.
"Vanessa?"
"Yup, it's me." I walked through the kitchen, noting the scissors in the ceramic jug by the refrigerator, the fire extinguisher by the stove, the wooden block of knives on the counter. "Having a great morning. I'm using your extra-sharp Ginsu knives to slice cheese for the omelet I'm making."
"What Ginsu knives? And why are you yelling? Is everything okay?"
"You're almost here? Turning onto Burton Drive now?"
60
I stopped a foot from the door. Judging by the profile visible through the thin curtain covering the window in the kitchen door, whoever had knocked was definitely male.
"Vanessa, if you're trying to tell me something--"
"Hang on, Big Poppa," I whispered, grabbing the doorknob. "Simon?" My potential burglar stood on the stoop in jeans and his maroon Bates fleece.
"Hey. Sorry, I know it's early--"
"You and Caleb always use the back door."
"I tried the back door," he said. "And the front door. And the side door. You didn't answer."
"Oh."
"And I was just about to force this door open, because you weren't answering. And because the lights have been on all night, and because I couldn't hear anything out here over all the noise in there. I thought something happened."
"Oh," I said again, feeling ridiculous. "Sorry ... I fell asleep."
"You fell asleep? I'm so glad to hear it!"
Big Poppa. I'd forgotten I was holding the phone. "Dad, sorry--yes, I finally fell asleep." I turned, hoping Simon wouldn't notice the light pink traveling from my forehead to the base of my neck. "But Simon just stopped by. We're going to get something to eat. Call you later?"
"You're okay?" Simon asked as I hung up and turned back.
"Yes. Thank you." I opened the door wider and stepped aside. "Want to come in?"
61
"Actually ..." He glanced behind him, toward his house. "I came over to see if you wanted to come out."
"Out where?"
His jaw clenched. "To find Caleb."
My heart thrust
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