Six by Rachel Robinson

to keep her alive in my mind. Finn is correct. My mother’s love is what is all encompassing. I have never loved. Grinning, he shakes his head at my outright lie.
    “It’s the last thing to worry about as it will probably be the very last thing you feel…if you even get that far.”
    “Why would I not get that far?”
    “Because it will probably take years and I don’t know if even I can hide you for that long.” Finn sighs in defeat. I clutch my wounded arm to feel the pain. He closes his eyes as if he aches to see me doing it. The anger ebbs. My eyes are blue.
    “Help me feel quicker,” I say. My time is limited. If the dark witches will come to me, I want to feel everything before then. I do not tell Finn this. He unclasps his hands from behind his head and puts them into his pockets. I notice the blood stains on the shredded arm of his shirt. It reminds me of empty words from a passage in my lost book.
    He wears his heart on his sleeve.
    “I’ll take you to a circle not far from ours. You’ll be safe there. You may not understand it now, but I can’t be…with you for long periods of time.”
    He just made a promise to protect me and he is already passing me off to another circle.
    He notices the scowl on my face. “Don’t get angry. You’ll be protected,” he says smiling. “I’ll send Lana with you and Bec, too if you want, but I need to get away for a bit.” His jaw works at the mention of getting away.
    “I feel safer with you .” I walk to stand in front of him. I like it when we are close. I can see his eyes better. I notice new things every time I study him. His dark eyebrows slant inward, his pink lips are never completely closed, the way his straight nose is angled perfectly between his eyes and mouth. I have no comparison, but I think Finn is probably a flawless specimen of a male darkling.
    “Don’t look at me like that…or say things like that. It just makes our…arrangement even more difficult.” I know it has to do with the decree but I do not understand something.
    “You cannot have sex, but can you not love?”
    He exhales loudly. I am afraid I have used the wrong words. He grabs my chin between his thumb and forefinger. I close my eyes when I feel his touch on my skin. It is gentle but firm. It is seamlessly catastrophic to the world as I currently know it.
    “Open your eyes, darkling,” he says. I obey.
    “The words sex and love are interchangeable with you…for me. You must erase these thoughts from your mind. Not me.” I want to do as he tells me, but I cannot. The something that lurches inside me when I am around Finn stays there. It does not go away like all the times before. I know it has been there since I first saw him. He repeats himself one more time.
    “Not me.” When he releases my face, I feel an emotion consistent with anger…disappointment. Finn stares at me for a few more seconds and so many emotions flit across his face that it makes my head pound.
    Understanding these emotions will be as difficult as feeling them, I think.
    “Let’s head to the other circle,” Finn says while picking up both backpacks. I follow behind him, not giving away the swirling feelings that threaten to blossom in my chest. Because he said it is not him. I grip my knife tightly and hope I am wrong—because I think it is Finn.

Chapter Nine
    January 12th, Night
    The landscape is barren of trees. We are far from nothingness and I realize it makes me uneasy. We are also far from the other circle…Finn’s circle. The desert landscape causes my skin to dry and my eyes to burn. Even without the sun’s touch, this circle is withering. I fear the savages less than I fear Finn leaving me with these new darklings. They look at me oddly, which I am now used to, but they look at the way Finn stands protectively in front of me with even more curiosity. They do not like that he has chosen to protect me and I dread when he leaves me alone with them. They will try to rip me limb from