Snakes' Elbows by Deirdre Madden Page A

alive.
    Small wooden paddles were being given out to the people who were seriously interested in buying the painting. Jasper and Philomena took one each, as did the mysterious stranger. He then took a mobile phone out of his pocket. ‘Hello? That you? It’s me, Wilf,’ he whispered into it. ‘Listen, I’m really nervous. Explain to me again how the whole thing works.’
    â€˜Have you got your paddle?’ Barney said.
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜Well, the man will say a price and if you’re willing to pay that price, you lift your paddle.The auctioneer then says a new, higher price. If someone else is willing to pay that, they hold up their paddle. It goes on like this until the price the auctioneer says is so high that no one wants to pay it. The last person who had their paddle up when the man bangs the desk with his hammer gets to buy the painting,’ said Barney, who was hopeless at explaining difficult things. ‘Do you understand?’
    â€˜Oo-er, I’m not sure that I do,’ Wilf said.
    â€˜Don’t worry, you’ll see how it works once the bidding starts. I’m going to stay on the line, so I’ll help you if I can. Just do your best.’
    Everybody was settling down in their seats now, for the auction was about to begin. At exactly one o’clock, an important-looking man in a dark suit swept into the room. He went up to a desk at the front beside the painting and taking out a small wooden hammer he knocked rat-a-tat three times. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, welcome. We only have one item for sale today, but it is a remarkable one: theworld-famous Haverford-Snuffley Angel. And so without further ado, let me open the bidding at five thousand.’ Philomena Phelan eagerly lifted her paddle.
    â€˜Six thousand.’ Jasper lifted his.
    â€˜Seven thousand.’ Philomena lifted hers again.
    â€˜Eight thousand.’ Once more Jasper.
    â€˜Ouch!’ Wilf suddenly felt a set of sharp claws jab him in the stomach. Looking down, he saw a cross little cat’s face glaring at him from under the flap of his jacket pocket. ‘Gosh, yes, I’d better start bidding too,’ he thought.
    â€˜Nine thousand.’ Wilf lifted his paddle and the auctioneer nodded towards him.
    â€˜Ten thousand.’ Philomena Phelan again.
    The bidding went on like this for quite some time. It struck Wilf that perhaps they had started with a ridiculously low price so that they would all have a chance to get used to waving their paddles in the air and stop feeling nervous.
    â€˜How are we doing?’ said Barney’s voice in the phone that Wilf had kept pressed to his ear all this time.
    â€˜I think I’m getting the hang of it,’ Wilf hissed back.
    By now the price had gone up to seventy thousand and Philomena Phelan was beginning to look worried but she lifted her paddle all the same. ‘Eighty thousand.’ Jasper proudly raised his paddle.
    â€˜Ninety thousand,’ said the auctioneer. Wilf made his bid.
    Looking sad and disappointed Philomena put her paddle down. She was going to have to stop bidding: the Haverford-Snuffley Angel was too expensive to buy for the people of Woodford.
    Now it was all down to Jasper and Wilf! Which of them would hold his nerve and win the day?
    â€˜One hundred thousand.’ Jasper lifted his paddle and smiled at the auctioneer. Afterwards,some people would say that they thought they also saw Cannibal and Bruiser grinning from time to time during the auction. One woman even claimed she saw them wink at each other but she must have imagined it, for such a thing isn’t possible.
    â€˜It’s getting very dear,’ Wilf whispered into the phone. ‘It’s up to one hundred thousand.’
    â€˜That’s all right, I can manage that,’ Barney replied. But it was a lot of money for a painting, and the people in the room were beginning to be astonished at how high the price was