any either!” Marissa jammed her straw into her drink.
“Not getting any loving?” asked Jake in a syrupy voice. “Well, come on over here to Big Daddy, and I’ll show you what I got.”
“Shut up!” Marissa scowled down at her tray. “I swear you’ve all gone flippin’ crazy. Everyone atthis whacked-out school is totally bonkers these days. It’s like they’re all getting religion now, and it’s really making me want to just puke. Seriously!” She made a face like she was about to hurl.
“Sorry,” said Cesar as he sat beside her. “I guess this is partly my fault.”
“Your fault?” Her voice softened slightly, and she looked at him with wide eyes. “How could it be your fault?”
“Because I’ve gone and done it too. Allie was hugging me just now because she’s happy that I’ve given my life to God.”
“Oh, man!” Marissa shook her head. “I don’t want to hear another word about God. I just cannot take this!”
“Well, then at least hear me out,” continued Cesar.
I glanced at Jake and Spencer. Would they make fun of him too? But they were both silent. Stunned, I think. Then Cesar proceeded to tell them pretty much what he’d told me in the hall. “The thing is,” he finished up, “I know that this is real.”
Spencer made a face. “How can you know it’s real, man? I mean, it’s not like you can see God or anything.”
“Sometimes seeing isn’t as good as feeling it inside here.” Cesar tapped his chest. “And I cantell something’s changed inside of me.”
Jake and Spencer quickly shoved down their lunch and then dashed outside to, I’m guessing, smoke some weed and dull the truth that they’d just been exposed to. But Marissa remained at the table with us. As a result, she was forced to listen to the conversation among Cesar and Allie and me, as well as the others who dropped by to say hi or ask questions and make comments about their own personal faith journeys.
But by the time the warning bell rang, it looked as if Marissa might really be sick after all. Her face was pale and tight and I could tell she was overwhelmed and perhaps even angry. I had this feeling that if I didn’t reconnect with her, she might never speak to any of us again. So I made a point to follow her to the door.
“Hey, Mariss,” I said in a lowered voice. “I think I know how you feel.”
She looked at me curiously. “I don’t see how you possibly could.”
I nodded. “Really, I think I do. I’m sure I’ve felt the same way. Honestly, I used to want to rip the face off of anyone who had the audacity to talk about religion to me. It would make me totally furious. Really.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, you should’ve known me back then. I was one hard chick.”
She smiled ever so slightly, then gave a tug on my studded black leather belt. “You still look pretty tough, Chloe.”
“Yeah, but that’s just on the outside. I’m a different person on the inside now. A whole lot happier too.”
She shrugged. “Well, maybe you guys should respect that some of us heathens are just fine and dandy with the way we are.
Not
everyone has to get religious, you know.”
“I know. And honestly, we’re not going to shove anything down your throat either. You just let us be who we are, and we’ll let you be who you are too. Deal?”
She seemed to think about this for a moment. “Deal.”
FOR M
ARISSA
there’s a hard shell
‘round a soft heart
she’s a hard sell
and a slow start
God, You can melt
though she’s ice cold
the hurt she has felt
will not take hold
when Your love breaks
through her sad past
filled with mistakes
pain that won’t last
once her heart knows
Your love breaks through
Your mercy flows
and she’ll love You
cm
Friday, May 9
As soon as I found Allie this morning, I told her my plan. It may be lame, but it’s better than nothing. “We cannot let this thing with Laura just keep going like this. She looks so miserable. We’ve got to help her.”
“Yeah. I
“Not getting any loving?” asked Jake in a syrupy voice. “Well, come on over here to Big Daddy, and I’ll show you what I got.”
“Shut up!” Marissa scowled down at her tray. “I swear you’ve all gone flippin’ crazy. Everyone atthis whacked-out school is totally bonkers these days. It’s like they’re all getting religion now, and it’s really making me want to just puke. Seriously!” She made a face like she was about to hurl.
“Sorry,” said Cesar as he sat beside her. “I guess this is partly my fault.”
“Your fault?” Her voice softened slightly, and she looked at him with wide eyes. “How could it be your fault?”
“Because I’ve gone and done it too. Allie was hugging me just now because she’s happy that I’ve given my life to God.”
“Oh, man!” Marissa shook her head. “I don’t want to hear another word about God. I just cannot take this!”
“Well, then at least hear me out,” continued Cesar.
I glanced at Jake and Spencer. Would they make fun of him too? But they were both silent. Stunned, I think. Then Cesar proceeded to tell them pretty much what he’d told me in the hall. “The thing is,” he finished up, “I know that this is real.”
Spencer made a face. “How can you know it’s real, man? I mean, it’s not like you can see God or anything.”
“Sometimes seeing isn’t as good as feeling it inside here.” Cesar tapped his chest. “And I cantell something’s changed inside of me.”
Jake and Spencer quickly shoved down their lunch and then dashed outside to, I’m guessing, smoke some weed and dull the truth that they’d just been exposed to. But Marissa remained at the table with us. As a result, she was forced to listen to the conversation among Cesar and Allie and me, as well as the others who dropped by to say hi or ask questions and make comments about their own personal faith journeys.
But by the time the warning bell rang, it looked as if Marissa might really be sick after all. Her face was pale and tight and I could tell she was overwhelmed and perhaps even angry. I had this feeling that if I didn’t reconnect with her, she might never speak to any of us again. So I made a point to follow her to the door.
“Hey, Mariss,” I said in a lowered voice. “I think I know how you feel.”
She looked at me curiously. “I don’t see how you possibly could.”
I nodded. “Really, I think I do. I’m sure I’ve felt the same way. Honestly, I used to want to rip the face off of anyone who had the audacity to talk about religion to me. It would make me totally furious. Really.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, you should’ve known me back then. I was one hard chick.”
She smiled ever so slightly, then gave a tug on my studded black leather belt. “You still look pretty tough, Chloe.”
“Yeah, but that’s just on the outside. I’m a different person on the inside now. A whole lot happier too.”
She shrugged. “Well, maybe you guys should respect that some of us heathens are just fine and dandy with the way we are.
Not
everyone has to get religious, you know.”
“I know. And honestly, we’re not going to shove anything down your throat either. You just let us be who we are, and we’ll let you be who you are too. Deal?”
She seemed to think about this for a moment. “Deal.”
FOR M
ARISSA
there’s a hard shell
‘round a soft heart
she’s a hard sell
and a slow start
God, You can melt
though she’s ice cold
the hurt she has felt
will not take hold
when Your love breaks
through her sad past
filled with mistakes
pain that won’t last
once her heart knows
Your love breaks through
Your mercy flows
and she’ll love You
cm
Friday, May 9
As soon as I found Allie this morning, I told her my plan. It may be lame, but it’s better than nothing. “We cannot let this thing with Laura just keep going like this. She looks so miserable. We’ve got to help her.”
“Yeah. I
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