with his proposal, you daft thing - Sebastian Silver would never propose to a woman lightly. It’s soon for talks of marriage I get it, but you’ve been friends for a decade - you know one another, take that leap, together. That’s just my advice, but you’d be a fool not to march him down to City Hall asap and make it legal.” She drains the remnants of her glass and wiggles it in my face. “Whoa, this counselling lark is thirsty work!”
“Nah ah, only coffee for you now. You’ve got work tomorrow and you’ll kill me in the morning if I let you drink anymore. It’s a school night.”
“Party-pooper, but you’re right.”
“Thanks, Abs. We haven’t spoken about the proposal, other than for me to ask him not to tell anyone about it, so you’re the first to know - don’t mention it to anyone yet will you?”
“Of course I won’t but seriously, babe you really need to step it up with Seb - if you want this. I know you’ve been grieving and will continue to forever and a day, it will take time for the rawness to subside but if you love this man and you want to marry him, you have to show him - show you’re fully committed and that means, stop hiding and trust in his feelings and yours. You have to make him feel like he is your everything .”
I nod, relieved that finally the weight had lifted from my shoulders. Telling Abby was the best decision and all she had done was mirror my own feelings on the situation. “It’s hard with him away in Paris right now.”
“Ditto. I miss Nathan so bad, but I need to get a rein on my desire to be with him 24/7 - its doing us good to have some breathing space.”
“I’ve not seen you this hooked, Abs? Do you think this is it for you too?”
“I think it could be on my part but he can be very hard to read sometimes. I’m not even sure if he’s here to stay? Whether he’ll go back to Oz or settle here? We don’t have the ten years of foundations you and Seb have.”
“That can work against you too - sometimes it works better to be coming into this without history, no second guessing, relying on friendship and getting comfortable...”
“Hmmm. Well… I don’t know what’s going to happen between us but that’s for another night, getting back to you two, I know what you’re doing this weekend; grab that laptop and I’ll make us a cuppa.”
“What do you have up that Zara sleeve of yours?”
“‘ Paris’ and there will be nothing gay about it, lovely, it’ll be an explosive and intoxicating heterosexual ride that neither of you will forget, full of sex, sex and more sex and movie-style romance that will blow the cobwebs from your nunny, once and for all. Then and I mean then… you’re going to propose to him !”
I watch her animated face, brown eyes glittering with mirth and hands gesticulating, as her mind works in overdrive. “Great minds think alike. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Tell me more about your plans for how I make up for lost time with my man.”
*******
I awake Tuesday morning rejuvenated and ready to put all my plans into action. First things first - I need a visit to the gym. I need to burn off some off last night’s calories, blast away my anger, stress and reinvigorate my body. I’ve missed exercising, not just for the benefits of maintaining my weight - it balanced my mind. I needed to stimulate the serotonin in my brain and flick my iPod to maximum volume. It takes ten minutes to make the journey from Finn’s Creche to my gym and en route I mentally make notes about who and what I’m going to organise when I reach the office. Once parked, I quickly text my mum and ask her to have Finn for the weekend, briefly explaining my plans to ensure that she has plenty of notice; her response flies through instantaneously with a barrage of thumbs up emoticons. She was definitely on board then, bless her. I’m already feeling better by the time I step inside the doors of Canons. This was
“Nah ah, only coffee for you now. You’ve got work tomorrow and you’ll kill me in the morning if I let you drink anymore. It’s a school night.”
“Party-pooper, but you’re right.”
“Thanks, Abs. We haven’t spoken about the proposal, other than for me to ask him not to tell anyone about it, so you’re the first to know - don’t mention it to anyone yet will you?”
“Of course I won’t but seriously, babe you really need to step it up with Seb - if you want this. I know you’ve been grieving and will continue to forever and a day, it will take time for the rawness to subside but if you love this man and you want to marry him, you have to show him - show you’re fully committed and that means, stop hiding and trust in his feelings and yours. You have to make him feel like he is your everything .”
I nod, relieved that finally the weight had lifted from my shoulders. Telling Abby was the best decision and all she had done was mirror my own feelings on the situation. “It’s hard with him away in Paris right now.”
“Ditto. I miss Nathan so bad, but I need to get a rein on my desire to be with him 24/7 - its doing us good to have some breathing space.”
“I’ve not seen you this hooked, Abs? Do you think this is it for you too?”
“I think it could be on my part but he can be very hard to read sometimes. I’m not even sure if he’s here to stay? Whether he’ll go back to Oz or settle here? We don’t have the ten years of foundations you and Seb have.”
“That can work against you too - sometimes it works better to be coming into this without history, no second guessing, relying on friendship and getting comfortable...”
“Hmmm. Well… I don’t know what’s going to happen between us but that’s for another night, getting back to you two, I know what you’re doing this weekend; grab that laptop and I’ll make us a cuppa.”
“What do you have up that Zara sleeve of yours?”
“‘ Paris’ and there will be nothing gay about it, lovely, it’ll be an explosive and intoxicating heterosexual ride that neither of you will forget, full of sex, sex and more sex and movie-style romance that will blow the cobwebs from your nunny, once and for all. Then and I mean then… you’re going to propose to him !”
I watch her animated face, brown eyes glittering with mirth and hands gesticulating, as her mind works in overdrive. “Great minds think alike. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Tell me more about your plans for how I make up for lost time with my man.”
*******
I awake Tuesday morning rejuvenated and ready to put all my plans into action. First things first - I need a visit to the gym. I need to burn off some off last night’s calories, blast away my anger, stress and reinvigorate my body. I’ve missed exercising, not just for the benefits of maintaining my weight - it balanced my mind. I needed to stimulate the serotonin in my brain and flick my iPod to maximum volume. It takes ten minutes to make the journey from Finn’s Creche to my gym and en route I mentally make notes about who and what I’m going to organise when I reach the office. Once parked, I quickly text my mum and ask her to have Finn for the weekend, briefly explaining my plans to ensure that she has plenty of notice; her response flies through instantaneously with a barrage of thumbs up emoticons. She was definitely on board then, bless her. I’m already feeling better by the time I step inside the doors of Canons. This was
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