“Now look at you. Do you care about anything at all?”
“That’s not fair! How dare you judge my life? You know nothing about it!” She stepped forward, crossed her arms across her chest as her dark eyes snapped with fury. “You stayed here like I knew you would. Never changing. Never seeing!”
He gritted his teeth. He saw very well, thank you. He had seen a damn sight more than she knew about. Fury bubbled up as he remembered going through the dark years, wanting her beside him but unable to ask. “Talk about blind! You see what you want to see. So maybe I’m not signing the papers today. Maybe I’m doing you a favor.”
“Me a favor.”
He heard the ripe skepticism and it made him angrier. She knew nothing about him anymore. And that had been her choice. The girl he’d known—loved—would have made an effort to understand. He’d missed her, the girl he’d said he’d spend the rest of his life loving. Cherishing. He had missed her every single day since she’d left him. For a long time he’d pretended he hadn’t, but he was older now. He was too old for self-delusion. But maybe he was deluding himself right now. Maybe that caring, loving girl was gone forever. Maybe she was so caught up in herself, in her quest for glory, that she’d truly left him behind like yesterday’s trash.
He was no one’s trash.
“I grew up too,” he muttered.
“You what?” And her derisive laugh echoed through the house.
It made him almost mad enough to sign the papers right then and there, but he knew he’d regret it. There was more. More he needed to know. He had to protect himself legally. If he’d learned any lesson it was that all agreements needed to be in writing. And if she was pretending, and she did know about DMQ, he needed to guard his assets.
There was also more she needed to see—bits that went beyond dollar signs. But right now he could only see his own frustration ripping away any sense of perspective.
“You know what, Ell? You’re really pissing me off.” He went over to the fridge, took out a canned juice and snapped the top open viciously.
“Then let’s just end this farce of a marriage right now,” she asserted.
“You’d like that.” He nodded. “You’d like to take your snooty hair and pointy little chin and drive back to Denver pleased with yourself that you were right all along.” Maybe it was time for him to tell her exactly what he thought. Maybe it was time to clear the air and let the chips fall where they may. “Here’s the thing, Ella McQuade. And don’t tell me it’s Turner because you were sure as hell proud enough on the day we were married to tell everyone that you were a McQuade now. Do you suppose your leaving was easy for me? Huh? What do you suppose happened? I just read your letter and said, ‘Well, that’s it’ and went on my merry way? I didn’t. It wasn’t easy for me. I’d wanted you since I was old enough to know what sex was and I loved you before that. So why in hell would I make it easy for you now? Huh?”
His fingers trembled around the can as Ella stared at him, clearly shocked into silence.
“I’ve got stock to check on.” He turned away, pulled on a pair of boots at the door and picked up his half-empty can.
“What am I supposed to do?”
He stopped and looked back. There it was. Just a flash, but for the smallest moment she looked unsure, vulnerable, like she had last night when he’d tried to put her to bed and she’d kissed him. There was something. He couldn’t have been wrong about her for all those years. What would it take to bring the real Ella back? Or was she too far gone?
“I think an independent, capable woman like yourself will find something. Oh, and I left you something on the coffee table. You can do with it what you like.”
He banged out of the door and stalked down the lane to the barns.
He went inside to begin the morning routine, slamming through the mindless task of feeding stock and turning them out
“That’s not fair! How dare you judge my life? You know nothing about it!” She stepped forward, crossed her arms across her chest as her dark eyes snapped with fury. “You stayed here like I knew you would. Never changing. Never seeing!”
He gritted his teeth. He saw very well, thank you. He had seen a damn sight more than she knew about. Fury bubbled up as he remembered going through the dark years, wanting her beside him but unable to ask. “Talk about blind! You see what you want to see. So maybe I’m not signing the papers today. Maybe I’m doing you a favor.”
“Me a favor.”
He heard the ripe skepticism and it made him angrier. She knew nothing about him anymore. And that had been her choice. The girl he’d known—loved—would have made an effort to understand. He’d missed her, the girl he’d said he’d spend the rest of his life loving. Cherishing. He had missed her every single day since she’d left him. For a long time he’d pretended he hadn’t, but he was older now. He was too old for self-delusion. But maybe he was deluding himself right now. Maybe that caring, loving girl was gone forever. Maybe she was so caught up in herself, in her quest for glory, that she’d truly left him behind like yesterday’s trash.
He was no one’s trash.
“I grew up too,” he muttered.
“You what?” And her derisive laugh echoed through the house.
It made him almost mad enough to sign the papers right then and there, but he knew he’d regret it. There was more. More he needed to know. He had to protect himself legally. If he’d learned any lesson it was that all agreements needed to be in writing. And if she was pretending, and she did know about DMQ, he needed to guard his assets.
There was also more she needed to see—bits that went beyond dollar signs. But right now he could only see his own frustration ripping away any sense of perspective.
“You know what, Ell? You’re really pissing me off.” He went over to the fridge, took out a canned juice and snapped the top open viciously.
“Then let’s just end this farce of a marriage right now,” she asserted.
“You’d like that.” He nodded. “You’d like to take your snooty hair and pointy little chin and drive back to Denver pleased with yourself that you were right all along.” Maybe it was time for him to tell her exactly what he thought. Maybe it was time to clear the air and let the chips fall where they may. “Here’s the thing, Ella McQuade. And don’t tell me it’s Turner because you were sure as hell proud enough on the day we were married to tell everyone that you were a McQuade now. Do you suppose your leaving was easy for me? Huh? What do you suppose happened? I just read your letter and said, ‘Well, that’s it’ and went on my merry way? I didn’t. It wasn’t easy for me. I’d wanted you since I was old enough to know what sex was and I loved you before that. So why in hell would I make it easy for you now? Huh?”
His fingers trembled around the can as Ella stared at him, clearly shocked into silence.
“I’ve got stock to check on.” He turned away, pulled on a pair of boots at the door and picked up his half-empty can.
“What am I supposed to do?”
He stopped and looked back. There it was. Just a flash, but for the smallest moment she looked unsure, vulnerable, like she had last night when he’d tried to put her to bed and she’d kissed him. There was something. He couldn’t have been wrong about her for all those years. What would it take to bring the real Ella back? Or was she too far gone?
“I think an independent, capable woman like yourself will find something. Oh, and I left you something on the coffee table. You can do with it what you like.”
He banged out of the door and stalked down the lane to the barns.
He went inside to begin the morning routine, slamming through the mindless task of feeding stock and turning them out
Similar Books
