first time. âIâm creative. I think I could love. I say that means I have a soul. It might not be perfect, like Madisonâs, but Iâve got one. And it might be in danger if I just let Tammy die.â
Bemused, I looked at them both, Nakita flustered and looking like sheâd done something wrong, and Barnabas, angry and surly. âYou guys donât have souls?â I asked, and Barnabas dropped his gaze to his faded sneakers.
âAngels donât,â he said bitterly, almost jealously. âEven ones kicked out of heaven.â
A semi clattered past, and I held my hair to my head. âWho says?â
â I have a soul,â Nakita said firmly, but her expression was haunted. âI have a piece of Madisonâs.â
Mine? How could she have a part of my soul?
âI . . . donât think I can give it back to you,â Nakita said. âIâm sorry.â She was pleading, looking both frightened and desperate, her blue eyes pinched in concern. âItâs just a little sliver from yours, it got stuck in me with the black wings. Iâll ask the seraphs to try to take it from me if you want it back. It might make things easier. I donât think weâre supposed to have oneââ
âNo!â I said immediately, and Barnabasâs eyes squinted. âNo,â I said softer. âYou keep it. Are you sure? I mean, I donât feel like Iâm missing anything.â
Nakitaâs smile was blissful, as if a great guilt had been lifted from her. âI feel it,â she said firmly. âI knew it was there ever since the black wings, but I didnât know what it was because sometimes it makes me hurt inside, but even then it feels good.â Shyly, she looked up at me from lowered eyes. âThank you.â
I touched her arm so sheâd realize I knew what it meant to her. âYouâre welcome.â She had a part of my soul? Jeez, just how much had I ruined her existence?
âYou do not have part of Madisonâs soul,â Barnabas said disdainfully.
âI do!â Nakitaâs anger flared. âYou need to shut up, you filthy light reaper! You donât have one, so you donât know anything about it!â
âNakita,â I admonished, but it almost looked like Barnabas appreciated the insultâeven if it was technically inaccurate. His eyes were on the traffic, and I followed his gaze to guess that it was clear enough to cross with two angels with me. âLetâs go,â I said. âNakita, Iâm glad you have a part of my soul. Itâs the least I can do for having put black wings inside you. Keep it. Make it yours.â
My feet hit the pavement, and the heat rose up in a wave. I could hear them following, going slow, then fast as cars came and went around us. Barnabas hustled to catch up, and as we reached the curb, he whispered, âDo you think she really has part of your soul?â
I shrugged. âIf she says so. I donât feel like Iâm missing anything.â
Nakita strolled past us, intent on reaching the apartment building. She looked breezy and bright, clearly relieved that the question of her soul had been settled. âTammy is on the third floor. I can sense her resonance.â
Barnabas and I found the sidewalk together. He looked angry. âBarnabas,â I started, and he interrupted me.
âIâm fine,â he said brusquely.
âWhoâs to say you donât have a soul?â I said. âMaybe thatâs why you got kicked out of heaven in the first place?â
His pace faltered, and he looked at me in wonder. Something in me ached to see him hurting inside this much. âI donât have a soul,â he said, but there was a thread of doubt in it. âWe werenât made to have one. We were made to serve, not delight in Godâs creations.â
Serve? I thought, then filed that away to think about later.
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