Sunset Boulevard by Zoey Dean

green Juicy Couture minidress, a brown Burberry safari dress, and
    a black Fendi cashmere sweaterdress and tossed them on the bed like she was dealing cards.
    "I don't get it," Jojo said, her violet eyes scanning the items. "You picked that stuff at random."
    Myla shook her head. "Random is exactly right. The outfits are immaterial. The key is, those
    shoes are the only thing you absolutely must wear the next day. Show girl-Rod that--last
    season or not--if they look good, and you rock them like a pair of Pradas should be rocked, no
    one gives you shit about where they came from, or when they came from."
    Jojo processed this information with greater concentration than she'd paid to the Pythagorean
    theorem in geometry class at JFK. "So I can do whatever I want? Then why do I need these
    lessons?" She flopped into one of the chairs, already exhausted. As far as she might have come
    from her Aéropostale sweatshirts and Forever21 jeans, she sincerely doubted she could ever
    achieve Myla's poise and flawless style.
    Myla pulled Jojo up by the arms. "Because you don't get what it means to do whatever you
    want. In the back of your head, you're always wondering what people think of you and you get
    so caught up wondering that you paralyze yourself. Take your whole Barnsley incident. Let's
    role-play. I'm you, you're Barnsley."
    Jojo rolled her eyes, even though she was intrigued. She didn't exactly care what people
    thought but she did overanalyze every little thing. It had taken Jojo sixteen years to figure that
    out about herself, and Myla had done in it a few weeks. "Do we have to?"
    Myla ignored the question. She tottered on her heels until she was an inch away from Jojo.
    Pretending to be drunk, she cuddled up to Jojo. "Sure, Barnsley, I'll kiss you." She lolled her
    head onto Jojo's neck, and Jojo cracked up at the impersonation. Myla shot her a don't laugh
    look. Jojo squashed her lips.
    Myla leaned into Jojo, moved her head back and forth like a deranged puppet, and then fakehurled with a dramatic heaving noise.
    Jojo jumped back, just like Barnsley had. The words she couldn't forget came easily. "That
    fucking bitch puked in my mouth!"
    Myla-as-Jojo cocked her head to one side, fake-scanning her outfit for wayward puke. Then,
    she looked into Jojo-Barnsley's eyes, and said, loudly and slowly, like each word was a wellaimed arrow, "Barnsley Toole, you disgusting pig. Your mouth tastes like"--she pondered the
    bouquet, like she was at a wine tasting--"dead fish. Old blue cheese. And... is that Zima? Thank
    God I did everyone the service of putting you out of commission."
    Jojo cracked up, falling onto the bed, as Myla prissily dabbed the corners of her mouth with a
    Kleenex. Then Myla was giggling, flopping down beside Jojo.
    "'And... is that Zima?'" Jojo repeated as they caught their breath. Jojo had heard Myla's
    infectious laugh before. But she'd never expected to see someone as poised as Myla roll around
    in a fit of giggles with her. It was just like hanging with Willa, her best friend in Sacramento,
    but Myla was more than that--they were sisters . Jojo suddenly didn't care that the video of her
    and Barnsley was featured on YouTube. So she'd hurled on a guy. At least she wasn't Barnsley
    Toole, who would wake up one day and realize how pathetic he actually was.
    Jojo sat up on the bed, staring in awe and wonder at Myla, who was dabbing the corners of her
    eyes. "That was amazing. But do you really think I could pull that off?"
    Myla refluffed her hair in the mirror, catching Jojo's eye in the reflection. "You wouldn't be
    here if I didn't. When you embarrass yourself, think of a way to make it more embarrassing for
    whoever is messing with you." She slung an arm over Jojo's shoulders, sort of nudging her up.
    "Remember, it's never you, it's them."
    Jojo thought the mantra sounded a little absolute. But now wasn't the time for asking questions.
    If a magician was revealing how she did her tricks, you just enjoyed the