Swell by Lauren Davies Page A

were now upright and the atmosphere was electric. Punk music blasted out of the surround sound system. The house itself was a spectacular architecturally designed wooden pentagon with huge windows on four of the sides and a cinema screen on the fifth. Images of Cain surfing tropical waves flashed endlessly on the screen. A little egotistical, I thought, to play a movie of oneself at one’s own party but judging by the adoring faces staring at the film, Cain’s ego trip was welcomed.
    ‘Bailey, these are my Brahs, the Tiger Sharks,’ said Cain.
    I turned to smile at the men lined up in the kitchen. The faces that greeted me were a mixture of ugly, hard and uglier.
    ‘Junior.’
    ‘Orca.’
    ‘Rosario.’
    ‘Maika’i.’
    ‘Waipahe.’
    They said, standing to attention.
    ‘Maika’i means good looking,’ Cain explained, placing a proud arm around Maika’i’s hunched shoulders.
    ‘Really? Gosh your parents had good foresight,’ I lied, trying not to focus on Maika’i’s crooked nose and derelict teeth.
    ‘Waipahe means good-natured in Hawaiian,’ Cain carried on just as Waipahe, the tattooed machine who had greeted me at the door, opened a beer bottle with his teeth and proceeded to chew the metal bottle top.
    If Jason, as many people criticised, had chosen to surround himself with the beautiful people, then Cain had obviously done his level best to do the opposite.
    ‘And Orca means…’
    ‘Killer whale, I know that one,’ I interjected, glancing nervously at the bull of a man whose eyes were towards the side of his very odd shaped head. ‘Cain is there a bathroom I could use?’
    I meandered up the vast, curved staircase that led up to the bedrooms and a bathroom so immense a real tiger shark could have splashed around in the bath. Three lithe girls were prettying themselves in front of the huge mirror that covered one entire wall, reminding me of a dance studio.
    ‘Hello,’ I said, slipping past them into the separate toilet.
    ‘Hi,’ they sang in response, their word somehow stretching to three syllables.
    Their false smiles were wider than their waists.
    I closed the door and sat on the toilet to reflect on the day so far. I had made progress, which I was proud of and I felt I had made a valuable contact in Cain. His M.O. was the polar opposite to Jason’s professional and more Hollywood style camp but they shared characteristics in that they were both confident, successful, driven, determined to beat the other and, dare I say it, more than averagely attractive.
    Long after I had finished I stayed there listening to the girly conversation outside the door.
    ‘Yeah like we had dinner on Maui with Tiger Woods and some other tennis players.’
    ‘Mimi, Tiger Woods like plays golf.’
    ‘Serious? What
ever
, it’s all the same to me. And that girl was at the party, the one in the new HBO series.’
    ‘Oh my god, she is like a totally skinny double zero.’
    ‘I know, Janey, and in person like she is sooo even skinnier. She is like totally anorexic.’
    ‘COOL.’
    ‘Totally cool. You know I think like if I was anorexic I still wouldn’t get skinnier than a size two.’
    ‘Worth a try though huh?’
    I felt like stuffing a toilet roll in my mouth to stop myself screaming.
    ‘So did you do it with Jason or not, Mimi?’
    My ears pricked up.
    ‘Um no he wasn’t up for it, like totally weird, but I did do it with Cory and Josh.’
    ‘At the same time?’
    ‘Like yuh huh.’
    They cackled like the Macbeth witches.
    ‘So like who’s the new girl? Do I have to worry?’
    ‘I doubt it. You’ve seen her she’s like totally pale and plain. Have you seen what she’s wearing?’
    I glanced down at myself and frowned.
    ‘I know, tragedy. But who is she anyway? I don’t remember her on tour before.’
    ‘Like apparently she’s Jason’s new girl but God knows why, she doesn’t even model.’
    ‘No way, Kirsti. Is she a movie star?’
    ‘Hullo, Mimi, does she look like a movie