Tainted Love: contemporary womens fiction love story and family saga (Behind Closed Doors Book 1) by Erin Cawood Page A
Authors: Erin Cawood
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off."
"Cal, please don't fuss," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I just... will you just... watch for the..." I felt his hand on my left shoulder. My eyes flew open as he pulled at the sleeve. "No."
"Fay? Come on. You're burning up and you need to cool down.” His hand tugged at the sleeve again.
"Cal, please... Don't."
Too late. "What the fucking hell is that?"
"I'm sorry!" I cried. "I wasn't going to tell you. I know you didn't —"
"I did that?”
I nodded.
"No." His head shook as he stared at the purple handprint on my arm. The orange in his eyes was almost all black with disbelief as he turned them to me. "No, I couldn't have."
"I know you didn't mean to, we were arguing, we were angry, you took me into Darryl's room that was all. I didn't realize how hard you held me, either."
"No." He gasped as he shook his head again. "I am not this man. I am not my father!" He climbed out of the car. It shook as he slammed the door. Now I was confused, as well as worried. I thought his parents had a happy, loving marriage? I thought he said his father died of a broken heart?
"Cal?" He paced back and forth along the driver's side of the car. He looked furious. The angry words were directed at himself. I lifted the sweater back up and jumped out of the passenger door. "Cal, it's —"
"No, it isn't!" He shook his head as I rounded the car. "What about your knees?"
"What?"
"I dumped you on the floor like you were trash." His face crumpled into his hands. "God, I can't get your expression out of my head.” He lifted his eyes to mine. He was in pain, so much pain, and I’d have done anything to take it away. This was really tearing him up inside, but he wouldn’t let me help. “You know, I was cursing you, Fay. I was calling you every rotten name under the sun until I calmed down because you had no idea what you'd done wrong. You did nothing to deserve this. There’s no wonder you were too scared to tell me."
"Cal, I’m not scared of you and my knees are fine. Look." I lifted my linen slacks and smiled at him. "It was an accident. You didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to draw attention to it... but I've never deliberately kept anything from you, and this was killing me."
"Why would you keep something like this from me? Surely I deserve to know?"
"Do you?" I whispered. "I'm not so sure. You’re my husband, so yes, I should tell you everything. But can you honestly say you wouldn't have been better off if you'd let me go to sleep in the car, let me feel off-color for a few days, and never have found out?” His expression faltered because I was right. “Look at you, Cal. I'd do anything to avoid seeing you like this, and because you're like this I'm certain it was an accident. I was right by not drawing attention to it. You really didn't need to know."
"Whatever did I do to deserve a girl like you to marry me?"
"You crushed me on a beach until I surrendered."
His laughter made my lips tingle as he kissed me. It was a kiss telling me I was the most precious thing in his life. Long and soft and...well, perfect. You know, I’m sure the kids were hiding because we were making out. They were at the age where this had begun to gross them out.
"I'm sorry, Faith.” He whispered into my ear. “I hate thinking you’re lying to me, so I shouldn’t lie to you.” I pulled away. My husband was lying to me? What the hell can he possibly be lying about after a kiss like that? “I want you to stop taking the birth control pills."
"I don't understand."
"Stop taking them, Faith.” I opened my mouth to argue. “If accidents happen, then nothing would make me happier than more children before we're too old to enjoy them."
Chapter Fourteen
Oh, how the roles had reversed! I wasn't sure if I wanted any more children. We were long past the sleepless nights and the diapers. Way past the potty training and the “accidents happen, sweetheart” stage. You were all growing independent of me. I
"Cal, please don't fuss," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I just... will you just... watch for the..." I felt his hand on my left shoulder. My eyes flew open as he pulled at the sleeve. "No."
"Fay? Come on. You're burning up and you need to cool down.” His hand tugged at the sleeve again.
"Cal, please... Don't."
Too late. "What the fucking hell is that?"
"I'm sorry!" I cried. "I wasn't going to tell you. I know you didn't —"
"I did that?”
I nodded.
"No." His head shook as he stared at the purple handprint on my arm. The orange in his eyes was almost all black with disbelief as he turned them to me. "No, I couldn't have."
"I know you didn't mean to, we were arguing, we were angry, you took me into Darryl's room that was all. I didn't realize how hard you held me, either."
"No." He gasped as he shook his head again. "I am not this man. I am not my father!" He climbed out of the car. It shook as he slammed the door. Now I was confused, as well as worried. I thought his parents had a happy, loving marriage? I thought he said his father died of a broken heart?
"Cal?" He paced back and forth along the driver's side of the car. He looked furious. The angry words were directed at himself. I lifted the sweater back up and jumped out of the passenger door. "Cal, it's —"
"No, it isn't!" He shook his head as I rounded the car. "What about your knees?"
"What?"
"I dumped you on the floor like you were trash." His face crumpled into his hands. "God, I can't get your expression out of my head.” He lifted his eyes to mine. He was in pain, so much pain, and I’d have done anything to take it away. This was really tearing him up inside, but he wouldn’t let me help. “You know, I was cursing you, Fay. I was calling you every rotten name under the sun until I calmed down because you had no idea what you'd done wrong. You did nothing to deserve this. There’s no wonder you were too scared to tell me."
"Cal, I’m not scared of you and my knees are fine. Look." I lifted my linen slacks and smiled at him. "It was an accident. You didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to draw attention to it... but I've never deliberately kept anything from you, and this was killing me."
"Why would you keep something like this from me? Surely I deserve to know?"
"Do you?" I whispered. "I'm not so sure. You’re my husband, so yes, I should tell you everything. But can you honestly say you wouldn't have been better off if you'd let me go to sleep in the car, let me feel off-color for a few days, and never have found out?” His expression faltered because I was right. “Look at you, Cal. I'd do anything to avoid seeing you like this, and because you're like this I'm certain it was an accident. I was right by not drawing attention to it. You really didn't need to know."
"Whatever did I do to deserve a girl like you to marry me?"
"You crushed me on a beach until I surrendered."
His laughter made my lips tingle as he kissed me. It was a kiss telling me I was the most precious thing in his life. Long and soft and...well, perfect. You know, I’m sure the kids were hiding because we were making out. They were at the age where this had begun to gross them out.
"I'm sorry, Faith.” He whispered into my ear. “I hate thinking you’re lying to me, so I shouldn’t lie to you.” I pulled away. My husband was lying to me? What the hell can he possibly be lying about after a kiss like that? “I want you to stop taking the birth control pills."
"I don't understand."
"Stop taking them, Faith.” I opened my mouth to argue. “If accidents happen, then nothing would make me happier than more children before we're too old to enjoy them."
Chapter Fourteen
Oh, how the roles had reversed! I wasn't sure if I wanted any more children. We were long past the sleepless nights and the diapers. Way past the potty training and the “accidents happen, sweetheart” stage. You were all growing independent of me. I
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