Tainted Love: contemporary womens fiction love story and family saga (Behind Closed Doors Book 1) by Erin Cawood Page B
Authors: Erin Cawood
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carpooled. I did the school runs and the club chauffeuring and the taxis to the mall, the movies, and the birthday parties. In between the housework, I had a little time for me.
In that time, I met some friends for coffee. I played tennis at the local club and was getting pretty good. I was enjoying the life I had. But, you know, when Cal told me to do something I did it, even something as magnanimous as stopping the contraceptive pill and risk bringing another child into the world. For whatever reason, I'd rather take my chances on the cosmos than on defying Cal. I'm not saying I was scared of what he'd do. It's just... well... it's what I did with no questions asked.
So there we were, trying to get pregnant, but accidentally. Yup, the psychiatrist... he's nuts! No ovulation charts, no taking temperatures, no visits to the doctor, just lots and lots of really great... um, swiftly moving on… life continued through its normal day-to-day routine.
It was the summer after you passed your driving test. The summer you were seventeen and Cal took away your car and you whined all summer long. You tried to remind him how much you needed the car to get to your community volunteering work. Why had you used it for drag racing? What were you thinking? I’ve never been so disappointed in you. I know you were a boy with a need for speed but... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
You’re a goddamn fool for risking your life like that when all it takes is a bad move. You’ve already survived one death plunge. But twice? Don’t you ever think you’re that lucky!
If Cal was hard on you, it was because the news made me violently sick, and he had the pleasure of shouting at you when I physically couldn’t. He said you’d get away with it because the captain and his wife were in counseling, but next time you wouldn’t be so lucky. Yes, I wouldn’t speak to you for weeks, but it was better to say nothing at all than tip your world upside down out of anger and spite. I had every intention of taking the secret you were adopted to my grave and Cal knew it. He didn’t take the car away from you. I did. For the first time in our marriage, I overruled him. Your foolish friends and their foolish ways, aren’t you glad I did?
I still remember that day like it was just this morning. The aroma of fresh bread and sandwich meat was in the air. I still hear the sounds of senior boys laughing with junior high school girls as they learned flirting and practiced flicking their hair. You were all so patient with Georgia and her friends, even though you were six years older.
I remember telling you to stay out in the front, stay off the drive and to stay out of the workmen’s way. It was the year we had a super-hot summer and Cal decided we needed a pool. It was the same year we bought Caleb his new bike. It was black with racing car red flames at the wheels and he loved it. He had just turned nine and really started to spread his little wings. It was getting to the point where I’d only see you guys when you were hungry.
Caleb had taken off on his bike to James’ house early that morning. You and Georgia were out front with your friends, and I was in the kitchen feeding what seemed like thousands of kids when it happened — the screech of tires, then a crash and a bang.
Then all I heard was screaming. My heart stopped. I flew out the door. Everyone was running in one direction; but not me. I froze at the porch. My eyes scanned the street. Where were you? I was looking for the most important three kids. No, two, because Caleb wasn’t there.
So far, I could only see Georgia. I saw the tears were pouring from her eyes. My heart dropped into my stomach. The fear, it lodged in my throat like a ball. “Darryl!”
I shot to the edge of the garden. The street was a war zone of twisted metal and tilting poles. Streets lights were held up by cables and solider like old oak trees.
“Someone call 911!” I yelled and pushed my way through the crowd. I dreaded
In that time, I met some friends for coffee. I played tennis at the local club and was getting pretty good. I was enjoying the life I had. But, you know, when Cal told me to do something I did it, even something as magnanimous as stopping the contraceptive pill and risk bringing another child into the world. For whatever reason, I'd rather take my chances on the cosmos than on defying Cal. I'm not saying I was scared of what he'd do. It's just... well... it's what I did with no questions asked.
So there we were, trying to get pregnant, but accidentally. Yup, the psychiatrist... he's nuts! No ovulation charts, no taking temperatures, no visits to the doctor, just lots and lots of really great... um, swiftly moving on… life continued through its normal day-to-day routine.
It was the summer after you passed your driving test. The summer you were seventeen and Cal took away your car and you whined all summer long. You tried to remind him how much you needed the car to get to your community volunteering work. Why had you used it for drag racing? What were you thinking? I’ve never been so disappointed in you. I know you were a boy with a need for speed but... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
You’re a goddamn fool for risking your life like that when all it takes is a bad move. You’ve already survived one death plunge. But twice? Don’t you ever think you’re that lucky!
If Cal was hard on you, it was because the news made me violently sick, and he had the pleasure of shouting at you when I physically couldn’t. He said you’d get away with it because the captain and his wife were in counseling, but next time you wouldn’t be so lucky. Yes, I wouldn’t speak to you for weeks, but it was better to say nothing at all than tip your world upside down out of anger and spite. I had every intention of taking the secret you were adopted to my grave and Cal knew it. He didn’t take the car away from you. I did. For the first time in our marriage, I overruled him. Your foolish friends and their foolish ways, aren’t you glad I did?
I still remember that day like it was just this morning. The aroma of fresh bread and sandwich meat was in the air. I still hear the sounds of senior boys laughing with junior high school girls as they learned flirting and practiced flicking their hair. You were all so patient with Georgia and her friends, even though you were six years older.
I remember telling you to stay out in the front, stay off the drive and to stay out of the workmen’s way. It was the year we had a super-hot summer and Cal decided we needed a pool. It was the same year we bought Caleb his new bike. It was black with racing car red flames at the wheels and he loved it. He had just turned nine and really started to spread his little wings. It was getting to the point where I’d only see you guys when you were hungry.
Caleb had taken off on his bike to James’ house early that morning. You and Georgia were out front with your friends, and I was in the kitchen feeding what seemed like thousands of kids when it happened — the screech of tires, then a crash and a bang.
Then all I heard was screaming. My heart stopped. I flew out the door. Everyone was running in one direction; but not me. I froze at the porch. My eyes scanned the street. Where were you? I was looking for the most important three kids. No, two, because Caleb wasn’t there.
So far, I could only see Georgia. I saw the tears were pouring from her eyes. My heart dropped into my stomach. The fear, it lodged in my throat like a ball. “Darryl!”
I shot to the edge of the garden. The street was a war zone of twisted metal and tilting poles. Streets lights were held up by cables and solider like old oak trees.
“Someone call 911!” I yelled and pushed my way through the crowd. I dreaded
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