Tainted Love: contemporary womens fiction love story and family saga (Behind Closed Doors Book 1) by Erin Cawood
Authors: Erin Cawood
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with this properly. As your sister, part of me just wanted to make fun and never let you forget it. The other, the proper girl who didn’t lose her virginity until she was engaged, wanted to forget I knew you had such magazines.
So I tried to be a modern woman of the nineties and say, "Come on Cal, are you saying you never had anything like this when you were his age?"
He lit up like the sky on the Fourth of July. "What kind of man do you take me for?" His temper exploded with the effect of a pyrotechnical spider. "It may be acceptable in your family, but it most certainly is not in mine."
Suddenly I was on the floor. The force of being shoved down vibrated from my knees, through my hips and into my ribcage. My heartbeat thundered in my chest. My left arm throbbed at the sudden release of his intense hold. What the hell?
"Cal?" I craned my neck and forced my eyes to meet his. Something had seriously gone wrong here. He'd overreacted over a few dirty magazines. Something wasn't right with my husband. "What is it?"
"I want them gone!" He slammed the door on his way out.
Chapter Thirteen
As you're aware, those magazines were still in your drawer the next time you went to look at them. I didn't lie to him. I'd never lie to him. By the time he asked about them, I was fairly sure he'd calmed down enough to say it just wasn't a conversation I could have with you. Cal said he'd handled it. He figured out where you got the idea there wasn't the money for college from, too. He said you were talking about attending some of the best colleges for pre-med and then the number one med-school, they don't come cheap. You misunderstood him when he told you not to set your goals too high.
That night when I showered before bed I noticed them. The big oval marks on my left arm that wouldn’t wash away. As I inspected the dark shadows closer they were tinged with a purplish hue. Bruises? Did he know he'd held me so hard he'd bruised me? My mind went back to the moments his hand squeezed just that little bit more and forced my eyes to his. Instinct said he knew.
No, I was overreacting. Yes, it hurt, a lot. But by no means was it deliberate. We'd been married ten years. I'd know if my husband had abusive tendencies. Besides, he promised never to hurt me again.
We spent the following day at the beach and we left to come home in time for your game. I think by then you were getting too old for play time at the beach, all of you. You'd found an excuse not to come with us, and at nine and seven, neither Georgia nor Caleb wanted to be on the sand that particular day, nor did I. As Cal pulled into a truck stop, they jumped out of the car quickly and dashed towards the restrooms.
"I should —" I made to go after them.
"What's wrong?" He twisted in his seat as the kids scampered to the bathrooms. We could see both entrances from where we sat. "Faith?"
I was going nowhere. "It's nothing." I managed a weak smile. "I'm not feeling too well."
"Oh Gawd." He groaned, rolled his eyes, and grinned, "Are you going to tell me you're pregnant again?"
Oh, how insanely inappropriate! But I laughed. Hard.
"Thank God." Cal's head tilted to the side as he looked at me. "We've been trying all day to make you smile." I let my head flop back against the head rest and just enjoyed the look in his eyes. The one which told me I was the rarest and most precious of gems and he'd never let me go. "I'd be okay with it, you know, if you were."
"What are you saying, Cal? You want more children?"
"Oh good God, no," he cried. "I'm just saying if an accident happened, I want you to know it's all right, you can tell me, and we'll get through it because it's not gonna end my world like it used to."
"I'm not pregnant, Cal." I smiled at him. "It's just... I'm just feeling a little off-color."
"Really?" Cal leaned forward, the back of his hand reached across to my face. "Jeez, Fay, you're red hot." He wound the window down. "Take that jacket
So I tried to be a modern woman of the nineties and say, "Come on Cal, are you saying you never had anything like this when you were his age?"
He lit up like the sky on the Fourth of July. "What kind of man do you take me for?" His temper exploded with the effect of a pyrotechnical spider. "It may be acceptable in your family, but it most certainly is not in mine."
Suddenly I was on the floor. The force of being shoved down vibrated from my knees, through my hips and into my ribcage. My heartbeat thundered in my chest. My left arm throbbed at the sudden release of his intense hold. What the hell?
"Cal?" I craned my neck and forced my eyes to meet his. Something had seriously gone wrong here. He'd overreacted over a few dirty magazines. Something wasn't right with my husband. "What is it?"
"I want them gone!" He slammed the door on his way out.
Chapter Thirteen
As you're aware, those magazines were still in your drawer the next time you went to look at them. I didn't lie to him. I'd never lie to him. By the time he asked about them, I was fairly sure he'd calmed down enough to say it just wasn't a conversation I could have with you. Cal said he'd handled it. He figured out where you got the idea there wasn't the money for college from, too. He said you were talking about attending some of the best colleges for pre-med and then the number one med-school, they don't come cheap. You misunderstood him when he told you not to set your goals too high.
That night when I showered before bed I noticed them. The big oval marks on my left arm that wouldn’t wash away. As I inspected the dark shadows closer they were tinged with a purplish hue. Bruises? Did he know he'd held me so hard he'd bruised me? My mind went back to the moments his hand squeezed just that little bit more and forced my eyes to his. Instinct said he knew.
No, I was overreacting. Yes, it hurt, a lot. But by no means was it deliberate. We'd been married ten years. I'd know if my husband had abusive tendencies. Besides, he promised never to hurt me again.
We spent the following day at the beach and we left to come home in time for your game. I think by then you were getting too old for play time at the beach, all of you. You'd found an excuse not to come with us, and at nine and seven, neither Georgia nor Caleb wanted to be on the sand that particular day, nor did I. As Cal pulled into a truck stop, they jumped out of the car quickly and dashed towards the restrooms.
"I should —" I made to go after them.
"What's wrong?" He twisted in his seat as the kids scampered to the bathrooms. We could see both entrances from where we sat. "Faith?"
I was going nowhere. "It's nothing." I managed a weak smile. "I'm not feeling too well."
"Oh Gawd." He groaned, rolled his eyes, and grinned, "Are you going to tell me you're pregnant again?"
Oh, how insanely inappropriate! But I laughed. Hard.
"Thank God." Cal's head tilted to the side as he looked at me. "We've been trying all day to make you smile." I let my head flop back against the head rest and just enjoyed the look in his eyes. The one which told me I was the rarest and most precious of gems and he'd never let me go. "I'd be okay with it, you know, if you were."
"What are you saying, Cal? You want more children?"
"Oh good God, no," he cried. "I'm just saying if an accident happened, I want you to know it's all right, you can tell me, and we'll get through it because it's not gonna end my world like it used to."
"I'm not pregnant, Cal." I smiled at him. "It's just... I'm just feeling a little off-color."
"Really?" Cal leaned forward, the back of his hand reached across to my face. "Jeez, Fay, you're red hot." He wound the window down. "Take that jacket
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