expressive dark eyes. I want to marry you. I want us. I don’t want to be apart.
You turn your head and face me, and I see it instantly, the same want and longing I feel.
Without a word, you take my hand and bring it up to your lips, brushing a kiss over my knuckles.
I love you so much it hurts.
Please don’t make me leave you.
Chapter Twelve
“I called your mom and told her you were coming.” You toss your suit jacket on the bed and loosen your tie. “She’s excited to spend some time with you.”
“Why did you do that?” Suddenly I’d like to choke you. “What if I didn’t want to go?”
“You need to go,” you say, and brush my cheek with the back of your fingers. “You need a break from all of this.”
I smack your hand away. How dare you? I’m not a toy you can take out and play with when you want and then put pack. “You brought me here, remember? You can’t just return me. I’m not returnable, Merrick.”
You grip my arms. “I’m not returning you. I’m worried about you. A week with your mom and your aunt will do you good. Then we can talk.”
“Talk. About?” My heart crashes into the fire in my stomach. How can this be happening?
Your eyes are hard and serious. “Us.”
I can’t take it. I always know what you’re thinking. Now I’ve lost the connection. I have to know what’s going on in your head. “What are you saying? That this break isn’t just for me? That you want to figure out if you want to be with me anymore? Are you easing your way out of this?”
“I don’t want to live without you, Rachael, but I won’t be lied to. We have to figure this out.”
“And the best way to do that is to send me away? That’s brilliant.” I pull from your grasp and sit on the bed. “I mean, why talk to me when you can just ask me to leave?”
“I just—I don’t…” You run your hands through your hair, then down over your face. “I want to make sure you’re thinking clearly. This Ingrid thing has you all worked up and acting irrational. You can be pissed at me for saying that, but when our relationship is riding on what comes next, I’m asking you to take a break from everything and think clearly before we talk about us.”
“Fine.” I’m being irrational. Whatever. “What time is Beck taking me to the airport?”
“He’s not. I am. Whenever you’re ready to go.” You ease down on the bed beside me. “This really is just a visit home to see your family and relax. I don’t want to lose you, and it feels like I have been lately.”
“You’re sending me away so I’ll stay?”
You smile weakly. “I guess I am.”
“And I’m letting you.” I shake my head at my willingness to go along with you. I always go along with you.
“It goes both ways,” you say, gazing into my eyes. “I’m a slave to everything you want and need. Always.”
It doesn’t feel like it right now, but I can’t deny the sincerity in your eyes and the soft honesty in your voice. “I have to pack my things.”
You stand and brush the creases out of the front of your pants. “I’ll get the helicopter ready and let Maddie know we’ll be leaving soon.” You stride toward the door and stop. “Rachael, we’ll be okay.”
It’s as much a question as a statement, like you’re asking and demanding me to make everything good again, to come back.
I just look at you in disbelief. What you want and the way you go about getting it are always at odds. How can one person be so terrible at relationships?
“I hope so,” I say.
It’s all I
can
say.
Chapter Thirteen
I find Mom and Aunt Jan standing beside the baggage carousel. Mom rushes toward me and crushes me in a big hug. “It’s been months! You don’t call often enough.”
“You’re already badgering her,” Aunt Jan says. “Let me in there for a hug.” She nudges Mom out of the way for her turn. “You look like a woman in love,” she says, but her brow creases and I know she sees the worry and hurt behind my
You turn your head and face me, and I see it instantly, the same want and longing I feel.
Without a word, you take my hand and bring it up to your lips, brushing a kiss over my knuckles.
I love you so much it hurts.
Please don’t make me leave you.
Chapter Twelve
“I called your mom and told her you were coming.” You toss your suit jacket on the bed and loosen your tie. “She’s excited to spend some time with you.”
“Why did you do that?” Suddenly I’d like to choke you. “What if I didn’t want to go?”
“You need to go,” you say, and brush my cheek with the back of your fingers. “You need a break from all of this.”
I smack your hand away. How dare you? I’m not a toy you can take out and play with when you want and then put pack. “You brought me here, remember? You can’t just return me. I’m not returnable, Merrick.”
You grip my arms. “I’m not returning you. I’m worried about you. A week with your mom and your aunt will do you good. Then we can talk.”
“Talk. About?” My heart crashes into the fire in my stomach. How can this be happening?
Your eyes are hard and serious. “Us.”
I can’t take it. I always know what you’re thinking. Now I’ve lost the connection. I have to know what’s going on in your head. “What are you saying? That this break isn’t just for me? That you want to figure out if you want to be with me anymore? Are you easing your way out of this?”
“I don’t want to live without you, Rachael, but I won’t be lied to. We have to figure this out.”
“And the best way to do that is to send me away? That’s brilliant.” I pull from your grasp and sit on the bed. “I mean, why talk to me when you can just ask me to leave?”
“I just—I don’t…” You run your hands through your hair, then down over your face. “I want to make sure you’re thinking clearly. This Ingrid thing has you all worked up and acting irrational. You can be pissed at me for saying that, but when our relationship is riding on what comes next, I’m asking you to take a break from everything and think clearly before we talk about us.”
“Fine.” I’m being irrational. Whatever. “What time is Beck taking me to the airport?”
“He’s not. I am. Whenever you’re ready to go.” You ease down on the bed beside me. “This really is just a visit home to see your family and relax. I don’t want to lose you, and it feels like I have been lately.”
“You’re sending me away so I’ll stay?”
You smile weakly. “I guess I am.”
“And I’m letting you.” I shake my head at my willingness to go along with you. I always go along with you.
“It goes both ways,” you say, gazing into my eyes. “I’m a slave to everything you want and need. Always.”
It doesn’t feel like it right now, but I can’t deny the sincerity in your eyes and the soft honesty in your voice. “I have to pack my things.”
You stand and brush the creases out of the front of your pants. “I’ll get the helicopter ready and let Maddie know we’ll be leaving soon.” You stride toward the door and stop. “Rachael, we’ll be okay.”
It’s as much a question as a statement, like you’re asking and demanding me to make everything good again, to come back.
I just look at you in disbelief. What you want and the way you go about getting it are always at odds. How can one person be so terrible at relationships?
“I hope so,” I say.
It’s all I
can
say.
Chapter Thirteen
I find Mom and Aunt Jan standing beside the baggage carousel. Mom rushes toward me and crushes me in a big hug. “It’s been months! You don’t call often enough.”
“You’re already badgering her,” Aunt Jan says. “Let me in there for a hug.” She nudges Mom out of the way for her turn. “You look like a woman in love,” she says, but her brow creases and I know she sees the worry and hurt behind my
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