Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life by Rachel Renée Russell Page B
Authors: Rachel Renée Russell
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batch of brand-new magazines when Chloe swiped a That’s So Hot! and buried her nose in it. Suddenly, she gasped and then shrieked:
“OMG! This is exactly what we should do!”
“What? Get makeovers and become teen supermodels?” I asked sarcastically.
“NO! Of course not!” Chloe said, rolling her eyes at me.
“I know! I know! Make. Your. Face. Zit. Proof!”
Zoey said, reading one of the captions printed on the magazine cover.
“No way!” Chloe said. “Not that!” She was so excited, her eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. Then she shoved the magazine in our faces and pointed.
“…THIS!!”
Me and Zoey were like, “TATTOOS?! Are you NUTS?!”
“A tattoo promoting reading would be PERFECT! And it would show that we’re serious and committed. Then Mrs. Peach will choose us for the field trip for sure!” Chloe squealed.
“That’s a WICKED idea!” Zoey said, staring in awe at the beautiful, tattooed model in the magazine.
“I bet we’re going to look as cool as her once we get ours! SWEET! ”
Okay. I could deal with going on a boring field trip for National Library Week. But there was just no way I was getting a tattoo to CELEBRATE going on a boring field trip for National Library Week. I mean, WHAT kind of tattoo would I even get?
I had to think fast. “Um…I agree this is the coolest idea, you guys. But I just found out a few days ago that I’m…superallergic to…spray painted hearing aids.”
Chloe and Zoey looked really confused.
“Why would anyone spray paint a hearing aid? That’s like SO bizarre!” Chloe said, shaking her head like I was really pathetic. Zoey agreed.
That’s when I lost it and yelled at them both, “You know what I think is BIZARRE? Bizarre is getting a TATTOO for National Library Week!!” But I just said that inside my head, so no one else heard it but me.
“Well, spray paint and tattoo ink are both kind of…um, colorful, so I’m pretty sure I’m allergic,” I said. “Which is really unfair because I was totally looking forward to getting a tattoo one day before I die.”
“Well, if it’s a medical problem, we understand. Right, Zoey? Hey! Why don’t you help us pick out our tattoos?” Chloe was trying to make me feel better.
“Yeah, we should ask our parents to take us to get them this weekend!” Zoey said excitedly. “I can hardly wait to see the look on Mrs. Peach’s face when she sees our tattoos!”
But I already knew what her face was going to look like when she saw Chloe and Zoey…
POOR MRS. PEACH!!
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24
I was hoping Chloe and Zoey were over their wacky idea of getting tattoos for National Library Week. Thank goodness their parents said, “No way!” But when I saw them in gym class, they were still pretty upset.
Our gym teacher divided us up into groups of three for our ballet skills test, and at first, I was happy that me, Chloe, and Zoey were together. Each group was supposed to pick classical music from the teacher’s CD collection and then make up a short dance routine using the five ballet positions we had learned over the past weeks. Since I knew all of them, I was sure I was going to get an A or, at lowest, maybe a B+ on the test.
ME DEMONSTRATING MY AWESOME BALLET TECHNIQUE
But, unfortunately, Chole and Zoey were too depressed to participate.
I was like, “Come on, guys, cheer up! We have to make up our ballet routine and practice it before we run out of time.” But both of them just stared at me with big sad puppy-dog eyes.
“I can’t believe our parents won’t let us get tattoos! How unfair is that?” Chloe whined.
“And now Mrs. Peach will NEVER pick us for the trip to NYC! It’s like our hopes and dreams have shriveled up and DIED!” Zoey sniffed, wiping a tear.
They spent the next forty-five minutes venting, and I, being the sensitive and caring friend that I am, sat quietly and
“OMG! This is exactly what we should do!”
“What? Get makeovers and become teen supermodels?” I asked sarcastically.
“NO! Of course not!” Chloe said, rolling her eyes at me.
“I know! I know! Make. Your. Face. Zit. Proof!”
Zoey said, reading one of the captions printed on the magazine cover.
“No way!” Chloe said. “Not that!” She was so excited, her eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets. Then she shoved the magazine in our faces and pointed.
“…THIS!!”
Me and Zoey were like, “TATTOOS?! Are you NUTS?!”
“A tattoo promoting reading would be PERFECT! And it would show that we’re serious and committed. Then Mrs. Peach will choose us for the field trip for sure!” Chloe squealed.
“That’s a WICKED idea!” Zoey said, staring in awe at the beautiful, tattooed model in the magazine.
“I bet we’re going to look as cool as her once we get ours! SWEET! ”
Okay. I could deal with going on a boring field trip for National Library Week. But there was just no way I was getting a tattoo to CELEBRATE going on a boring field trip for National Library Week. I mean, WHAT kind of tattoo would I even get?
I had to think fast. “Um…I agree this is the coolest idea, you guys. But I just found out a few days ago that I’m…superallergic to…spray painted hearing aids.”
Chloe and Zoey looked really confused.
“Why would anyone spray paint a hearing aid? That’s like SO bizarre!” Chloe said, shaking her head like I was really pathetic. Zoey agreed.
That’s when I lost it and yelled at them both, “You know what I think is BIZARRE? Bizarre is getting a TATTOO for National Library Week!!” But I just said that inside my head, so no one else heard it but me.
“Well, spray paint and tattoo ink are both kind of…um, colorful, so I’m pretty sure I’m allergic,” I said. “Which is really unfair because I was totally looking forward to getting a tattoo one day before I die.”
“Well, if it’s a medical problem, we understand. Right, Zoey? Hey! Why don’t you help us pick out our tattoos?” Chloe was trying to make me feel better.
“Yeah, we should ask our parents to take us to get them this weekend!” Zoey said excitedly. “I can hardly wait to see the look on Mrs. Peach’s face when she sees our tattoos!”
But I already knew what her face was going to look like when she saw Chloe and Zoey…
POOR MRS. PEACH!!
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24
I was hoping Chloe and Zoey were over their wacky idea of getting tattoos for National Library Week. Thank goodness their parents said, “No way!” But when I saw them in gym class, they were still pretty upset.
Our gym teacher divided us up into groups of three for our ballet skills test, and at first, I was happy that me, Chloe, and Zoey were together. Each group was supposed to pick classical music from the teacher’s CD collection and then make up a short dance routine using the five ballet positions we had learned over the past weeks. Since I knew all of them, I was sure I was going to get an A or, at lowest, maybe a B+ on the test.
ME DEMONSTRATING MY AWESOME BALLET TECHNIQUE
But, unfortunately, Chole and Zoey were too depressed to participate.
I was like, “Come on, guys, cheer up! We have to make up our ballet routine and practice it before we run out of time.” But both of them just stared at me with big sad puppy-dog eyes.
“I can’t believe our parents won’t let us get tattoos! How unfair is that?” Chloe whined.
“And now Mrs. Peach will NEVER pick us for the trip to NYC! It’s like our hopes and dreams have shriveled up and DIED!” Zoey sniffed, wiping a tear.
They spent the next forty-five minutes venting, and I, being the sensitive and caring friend that I am, sat quietly and
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