him.
Within days, Anna was looking forward to having sex more than she could ever remember. Making noise was becoming more and more natural, and more and more exciting every time. Then one night, after a particularly intense twenty minutes of intercourse, Anna and her husband looked at each other in awe, and said simultaneously, “What happened?”
At this point, Anna told her husband, “Remember the therapist I went to talk to? She told me that making a little noise might help me feel more sexual, so I tried it.” Her husband cracked a huge smile and said, “Did she have any more advice?” Well, that was all that Anna needed to hear. Three days later she was back in my office telling me: “I want to learn to talk sexy!”
The sudden change in her personality was so striking I just had to
Getting Connected / 65
laugh. Here was this self-described “remnant from the ice age” asking for all kinds of exercises and advice that could get her and her husband talking up a storm.
So what’s the moral of this story? I guess it’s this: Just because you’re feeling a bit tongue-tied, it doesn’t mean that you are powerless. As Anna M. discovered, even a few simple sounds can mark the beginning of monumental changes in your sex life, and your relationship as a whole. So give Exercise 8 a try. Before you know it, you may just have your partner begging for more. And believe me, there is plenty more in store.
C H A P T E R 7
Your Precious Parts
W HEN it comes to talking sexy, no two people are quite the same. Some of us
are frustrated because we can’t speak a single sexy word. Others are frustrated because they can’t run off a string of raunchy expressions. But whoever you are, you have to get comfortable with yourself before you get comfortable talking sexy to your partner.
Getting comfortable with yourself begins with getting comfortable with your own body. Now I realize that that is no easy task. I’ve met very few women in my lifetime who truly love their own bodies. The media has done a fine job of giving us standards of physical perfection that are nothing less than impossible to measure up to. But we try. And try. And plastic sur-geons, fashion design-
68 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love
ers, and cosmetic company executives get very rich in the process.
It’s time to put your credit cards away and take out your notebook. In this chapter, you’re going to learn how a few simple words can do more for your body image than all of the clothing, makeup, and liposuction you could ever afford. Thus far, the only word I’ve asked you to say out loud is the word “yes.” But, ac-cording to my calculations, you should be ready for more by now, and in this chapter we’re going to do some serious vocabulary building. So sharpen your pencils and clear your desks of everything but your notebooks. It’s time to get busy.
Your First Anatomy Lesson
The whole, they say, is always greater than the sum of its parts. But sometimes, you’ve got to pay a little more attention to those parts—especially the private ones—to make a relationship more whole. I’d like to start this chapter by turning your attention to the parts that are nearest and dearest to you: your breasts, your buttocks, and your vagina.
I want to begin with the vagina (yikes, that sounds just like a man!). But before we go any further, there is something I need to say: Vagina is not a sexy word.
It just isn’t. Whisper it, pant it, or scream it at the top of your lungs—no matter how you say it, it doesn’t get anybody hot. But we’re talking about something very, very sexy
Your Precious Parts / 69
here. The Big V. Ground zero. Our most precious possession. That which men have died for. We need to make it sound as sexy as it is . And that’s what Exercise 9 is all about.
Exercise 9: My Secret Garden
(SOLO)
How many different words and expressions (sexy, slang, anatomical, literary, etc.) do you know for vagina ? It’s time to find
Within days, Anna was looking forward to having sex more than she could ever remember. Making noise was becoming more and more natural, and more and more exciting every time. Then one night, after a particularly intense twenty minutes of intercourse, Anna and her husband looked at each other in awe, and said simultaneously, “What happened?”
At this point, Anna told her husband, “Remember the therapist I went to talk to? She told me that making a little noise might help me feel more sexual, so I tried it.” Her husband cracked a huge smile and said, “Did she have any more advice?” Well, that was all that Anna needed to hear. Three days later she was back in my office telling me: “I want to learn to talk sexy!”
The sudden change in her personality was so striking I just had to
Getting Connected / 65
laugh. Here was this self-described “remnant from the ice age” asking for all kinds of exercises and advice that could get her and her husband talking up a storm.
So what’s the moral of this story? I guess it’s this: Just because you’re feeling a bit tongue-tied, it doesn’t mean that you are powerless. As Anna M. discovered, even a few simple sounds can mark the beginning of monumental changes in your sex life, and your relationship as a whole. So give Exercise 8 a try. Before you know it, you may just have your partner begging for more. And believe me, there is plenty more in store.
C H A P T E R 7
Your Precious Parts
W HEN it comes to talking sexy, no two people are quite the same. Some of us
are frustrated because we can’t speak a single sexy word. Others are frustrated because they can’t run off a string of raunchy expressions. But whoever you are, you have to get comfortable with yourself before you get comfortable talking sexy to your partner.
Getting comfortable with yourself begins with getting comfortable with your own body. Now I realize that that is no easy task. I’ve met very few women in my lifetime who truly love their own bodies. The media has done a fine job of giving us standards of physical perfection that are nothing less than impossible to measure up to. But we try. And try. And plastic sur-geons, fashion design-
68 / Talk Sexy to the One You Love
ers, and cosmetic company executives get very rich in the process.
It’s time to put your credit cards away and take out your notebook. In this chapter, you’re going to learn how a few simple words can do more for your body image than all of the clothing, makeup, and liposuction you could ever afford. Thus far, the only word I’ve asked you to say out loud is the word “yes.” But, ac-cording to my calculations, you should be ready for more by now, and in this chapter we’re going to do some serious vocabulary building. So sharpen your pencils and clear your desks of everything but your notebooks. It’s time to get busy.
Your First Anatomy Lesson
The whole, they say, is always greater than the sum of its parts. But sometimes, you’ve got to pay a little more attention to those parts—especially the private ones—to make a relationship more whole. I’d like to start this chapter by turning your attention to the parts that are nearest and dearest to you: your breasts, your buttocks, and your vagina.
I want to begin with the vagina (yikes, that sounds just like a man!). But before we go any further, there is something I need to say: Vagina is not a sexy word.
It just isn’t. Whisper it, pant it, or scream it at the top of your lungs—no matter how you say it, it doesn’t get anybody hot. But we’re talking about something very, very sexy
Your Precious Parts / 69
here. The Big V. Ground zero. Our most precious possession. That which men have died for. We need to make it sound as sexy as it is . And that’s what Exercise 9 is all about.
Exercise 9: My Secret Garden
(SOLO)
How many different words and expressions (sexy, slang, anatomical, literary, etc.) do you know for vagina ? It’s time to find
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