Teaching the Dog to Read by Jonathan Carroll

for not having said ‘we’ don’t want to die.
    “Boys, I didn’t either; I was about to get married. But it’s out of your hands.” Fischman pointed to the body lying on the bed. “Once the motor conks out, that’s the end of you.”
    “Is it going to happen soon?”
    “I dunno. That’s always up to your body. I’m just here to introduce myself. Normally I wouldn’t show up until after you died, but because you guys traded places they sent me across a little earlier than usual.”
    “ Across?”
    Fischman looked from side to side as if to make sure no one could hear what he was about to say to the Tonys. “I’m not supposed to tell you this till it’s over, but the Afterlife? It’s over there. Two steps away.” He hooked a thumb out to the side like a hitchhiker trying to catch a ride. “You wanna take a little look at your new home?”
    “No!” both Tonys shouted.
    Fischman held up both hands, palms out in surrender. “Okay, okay I was only trying to make it easier for you when the time comes. It’s really nice over there, believe me. I didn’t even want to come over here now and leave it.”
    “No!” The Tonys said again, even more adamantly.
    The door crept slowly open and Lena Schabort entered.
    Eyebrows raised, Len Fischman checked her out from top to bottom and gave an exaggerated approving nod. When she saw the body of Anthony Areal on the bed, she quickly covered her mouth with both hands and began to weep. Lena tried to muffle the noise with her hands by pressing harder against her mouth but that only made new louder sounds. She stood there unmoving, paralyzed by what she was seeing.
    Tony Night got up from his chair and was going to go to her, but Fischman shook his head. “You’re in a coma. She can’t see either of you. Only the Tony she knew, and that’s old dead weight over there.”
    When she was able to calm down a little and gather herself, Lena walked to the side of the bed and looked down at her new love. Hesitantly, she touched his right hand with her index finger but for seconds, as if afraid even one touch might worsen his condition. Then she did something else that made all three men in the room catch their breath.
    Bending over the still body, she stretched her arms out and without touching Tony, put her hands near either side of his face, as if cradling it. Leaning forward, she lowered her forehead until it almost touched his. She stayed in that reverent position for a long time.
    Both Tony Day and Len Fischman eventually looked at Tony Night with great sympathy and a little jealousy in their eyes. It was so plain this woman was crazy about the Tony Areal she knew and her grief was palpable. It was clear that when he died she would be crushed.
    To make matters worse, outside on the street a cacophony of auto horns went by and from their cheerful, uneven rhythm it sounded like either a wedding party celebrating, or some sports team had won a game and this was a spontaneous victory parade announcing to the world the good news.
    When Lena finally drew her hands back and lifted her head, she sat down in one of the chairs next to Tony’s bed.
    “You don’t have to see this if you don’t want.”
    “What?” Tony Night had been so absorbed watching Lena’s every move that he’d barely heard Fischman speak.
    “You don’t have to watch this. You’re in a coma. Both of you can go back into it. I don’t know what’s going on in his head now, but probably nothing. His brain is probably blank and biding its time till the body’s clock runs down. You don’t have to see this if you don’t want. I wouldn’t.”
    The Tonys looked at each other but neither had an answer.
    “If it makes your decision any easier, you can come out again whenever you want. So long as the body is still alive, you—”
    “—can come out again. Yeah, we heard you,” Tony Day cut in. He looked at Night who absolutely bereft, kept staring at Lena. Day knew it was his call and looking at