TEEN MOM TELLS ALL by Katrina Robinson

 
     
     
     
     
     
    Grow Up
    War
     
    Living was a little
different now. We were in the county where more family resources
were available. There was more subsidized housing, cleaner public
transportation, and better schools. At one point, the rent at our
subsidy was $1 per month. It was also a different landscape. There
was space, trees, grass, and a lot less noise. I grew to like it.
The yellow buses took me and my sisters to school everyday. My
mother finally got a car too. She enrolled in college and got a
degree. My sisters were growing up and got to take full advantage
of county living. Grandma being right across the street secured us
even more. She lived in her house for 30 years. It was paid for.
She wouldn’t be moving any time soon. I played lottery numbers
often for her. The lottery clerk knew her handwriting on my number
list. Those tickets earned grandma regular income; aside from day
care. She was always hitting! And when she did, the whole family
got blessed. Whatever the family needed, she gave. When I went to
the store I’d say , “Grandma, I’m going to
the store. Do you want something?” She’d say, “Yes, a Cadillac car,
a diamond ring, and a man.” I’d reply, “I’ll see what I can
do.” Too funny! Her house was where the
whole family gathered for special occasions. She was the anchor of
the family. (I miss her much.)
     
    At this point, I was doing well
scholastically, participating in school sports, and spent a lot of
time with my friends. I grew close to two in particular. We met at
school and shared a lot laughs together. Many secrets too. I looked
so regular and healthy on the outside; but internally I was
bleeding. I had issues about being adopted. I didn’t look like any
person in my family and I was the darkest. It was pointed out
often. I also had abusive memories haunting me off and on. Our
single parent family was not equipped to get the counseling and
intervention I needed. Mom had no interest in doing anything that
would be to my long-term benefit. Besides, she had her own ghosts
to deal with. She had come a long way, but
it never changed her attitude toward me. For some reason, my dark
skin was offensive. One day she said,”Have you really looked at
your bottom lip?” My bottom lip was a little pink; discolored from
birth – like I had been smoking. I thought, “What’s wrong with my
bottom lip?” She said, “It looks like a monkey’s butt!” I went and
looked in the mirror. I just stared for a minute. Then I went to
the encyclopedia to see if I could find the picture of a monkey’s
butt. Couldn’t find one. Back to the mirror I went. Something
changed this time. I wondered how many people looked at me and saw
a monkey. Then, I looked at my dark skin and short hair. UGLY! I
was ugly. Every time I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see my
unblemished skin, my slanted eyes, or my nice shape. I just saw
ugly. An ugly dark skinned girl, living in a house with better
looking people. I didn’t want to look much
in the mirror anymore. My looks no longer mattered. I was ugly, and
I accepted it.
     

 
     
     
    “Getting pregnant early is like
postponing a worldwide expedition..indefinitely.”
     
    Katrina Robinson

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Teen Pregnancy
    War
     
    With my mother working, in
college for the 2 nd time, and playing catch up in her personal life,
I was watching my sisters after school. I did a horrible job with
the big sister thing. Boys had my attention now because they gave
me attention. I was walking home from school with them, paging
them, dating them. When I couldn’t get out of the house, I was on
the phone with them. Trouble and hardship knocked on the door and I
let them in.
     
    Neighborhood boys are the
closest ones to get hooked up with. You can conveniently see them
when you’re bored, broke, or lonely. They’re always nearby to sneak
around with. The next thing is to start experimenting sexually.
Along with that may come