The Adulterer's Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations, A Novel by Leslie Langtry Page A

Alan reached over and plucked it from my hands, studying it, “we all look pretty good together.Although why a woman as beautiful as you would hang out with someone like me is beyond my comprehension.”
    “I’m in love with your kids, of course,” I teased.
    He smiled, “Oh yes, that’s obviously it.”
    The rest of the day was spent running from one attraction to another.Once again, the kids seemed to have limitless energy.I, for one, was starting to run down.As we watched the light show that night, Alan and I agreed that it would be an early bedtime.By the time we got back to the hotel, the kids were out cold.I didn’t even have the energy to undress Jenny and Ben so I put them under the covers fully clothed.Clearly I wasn’t up for Mom of the Day.
    Once again, Alan and I sat out on the terrace with beer from the bar.
    “You know, I think we need a break.” He said finally.
    “From what?” This was, after all, a vacation.
    He waved his arms around, “From this!From having to sit on a patio every night after chasing the kids around the parks all day.”
    “You don’t like sitting here with me?”
    “I love sitting here with you.I just would like to do something a little more normal with better lighting.”
    I laughed, “What do you suggest?”
    “Why don’t we call one of those sitters they have here?”
    I choked on my beer.Why didn’t I think of that?“Let’s do it.”
    Alan slipped into his room, emerging a few minutes later, “It’s all set.Tomorrow night at six, Martha arrives to save us.”
    A nervous tingling began in my stomach, “So, what will we do?”
    “Dinner, seeing the sights, all involving real food,” he smiled, triumphantly.
    “You mean nothing cut up to look like a cartoon rat?”
    He nodded, “and no one will give us a sticker for cleaning our plates.It will be wonderful.”
    “Sounds great.”
    We both nursed our beers for a while in silence.That would be fun.Grown up stuff.Just me and Alan, out on the town.My insides bunched up at the thought of it.What we were talking about was a date, right?
    “Alan, about last night,” I began, not really knowing what to say next.
    “We can pretend it never happened, if you like.”I could see from the look in his eyes that he would never talk about it again if I asked him to.
    “It’s not that.I just wanted to thank you.”
    His eyebrows arched, “Really?”
    I nodded, “Yeah.I know it sounds weird, but I obviously needed that.”
    Alan looked from me to his bottle, “Can I ask you something about that night?”I nodded again and he continued, “What happened after?”
    I hesitated, wondering how much to tell him.No sense in ruining a good adultery story with too much information.
    “Mike never knew, and Nick and I never discussed it again.We kind of agreed to keep it to ourselves - no deathbed confessions to our spouses and that was that.”
    “And you were able to keep your hands off each other?”
    My stomach twisted, but I ignored it.“Well, it wasn’t easy.We still had the knowing glances and suggestive conversations.But a few months ago, he moved to Maryland with his family so that’s the end of that.”I drained my bottle and reached for another one.
    “Have you ever done anything else like it since?” Alan’s questioning seemed innocent, not condemning, so I answered.
    “No.” Why was that? Well, besides the obvious lack of opportunity.The affair didn’t make me feel any better about what Mike had done to me.
    “Why?”
    “I don’t know.What I find more interesting, is how after that one fling, I started noticing men hitting on me more often.I don’t know if I just didn’t notice it before or if after the affair, I started giving off adultery pheromones or what.”
    “Did you ever ask them why they were attracted to you?” I noticed he drained another bottle.We were starting our second six pack.We were well on our way to the happy land of alcoholism.
    “Actually, I did.And they said, to a man, that it