The Adventures of a Love Investigator, 527 Naked Men & One Woman by Barbara Silkstone

me, just can’t hold onto love. It’s slippery and rather than grab the slimy critter, we subconsciously let it slide away.”
    He sighs a bi-coastal sigh. “Tell me about these guys. Are they good looking? Do they have a sense of humor like mine? Why are they getting to you? You’re never going see them again.” Sal continues to press me for silly scraps of details about the men. Why are guys always lining themselves up for comparison? Who’s got the best one-liner? Who’s got the biggest... feet?
    Before he can hold me on the phone any longer, I hang up. It’s after midnight and I can’t sleep. I click on the recorder and start jotting notes. Is there a pattern here? I play tape after tape looking for sense in the words of hundreds of men. I don’t have to look at their names. The sound of their voices brings them into sharp relief. They are imprinted on my brain.
    “What’s kept us together is I always treated her like she was one of my guy friends, not just my wife. She’s my best friend and I value that.”
    ~ Chuck, 55, retired business owner, married
    “I married my childhood sweetheart. It has been an exciting relationship.”
    ~ Bill, 54 corporate CEO, married
    “Mutual support without any distractions. We both really like each other’s company. I do believe that a lot of the successful marriages without children do work because there’s two people devoted to one another and not being torn apart by the trampling of little feet.”
    ~ Mick, 46, film director, married
    “We never found it difficult to perpetuate our love for each other. We always wanted to be together.”
    ~ Hank, 83, retired, married
    “Marriage is a partnership designed to enhance the quality of life for both partners.”
    ~Barry, 40, attorney, married
    I find myself wanting what these people have and yet knowing it’s going to be bad for me. Like a kid with a craving for Sweet Tarts, I dodge the fact that these scenarios are loaded with painful cavities.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
    “The sexiest thing about a woman?
    Being able to laugh with her during sex.”
    ~ Alex, 44, divorced
    Case 350 /Alex
    We stand in a check-in line at the Delta desk in Hartsfield Airport in Atlanta. His name is Alex. As we start chatting, I mention the interviews. He’s immediately interested. “Do you have time for a drink?” He asks.
    Is this a hit-on or an interview?
    He reads my mind. “I’d enjoy being interviewed.”
    Oh twist my arm. Here we go again, being forced to interview a nice looking man.
    Alex and I settle into a booth at one of the bars. We both order cabernet. I pop out my recorder and we are officially underway.
    Alex is a forty-four year old real estate investment counselor. I have a vague idea of what he does. Divorced for six years, he is actively searching for the right woman. His standards sound terribly high and unachievable.
    Mr. Investment Counselor fixes his light blue eyes on me, his voice growing softer. “Funny, how one event can change the whole course of a relationship. At some crucial fork in the road, the thing you have with someone can become love, a love affair or a friendship.
    “I was handling a client’s real estate and commuting between Chicago and Tampa. Through business connections I met this lady. The physical and mental attraction was there. I was just entering the divorce arena and looking for a quality place to dump my pain.
    “About once a month I would find an excuse to come into Tampa. This lady and I would put in twelve to fourteen hour work days and then we’d grab dinner together. The sexual tension was building. Finally one night I couldn’t stand it anymore. I just said to her, ‘We both know we want to do this, let’s stop wasting valuable time.’”
    I scoot to the edge of my seat, in order to hear him better. He has a funny expression on his face, his mustache is covering his lips and I can’t quite tell if he is smiling or not.
    “She came back to my hotel room and we started kissing and