do I make it right , Saraqael?” I begged , gripping his collar.
“The first step to asking for forgiveness is to forgive yourself . You two hold so much guilt for what you have done to each other over the years. You’re allowing it to eat you both alive.” Saraqael pulled my hands from his shirt, clutching them tightly .
“What are you talking about? Over the years? Except for tonight, I have nothing to feel guilty about.” I push ed away from Saraqael .
“ Maybe you should have started tonight’s session with what is really troubling you.”
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” I declared, wiping my no se on my sleeve .
“I know you’re holding back , Etta. You did during our last session , and you’re doing it now. Until you can let the truth out, I’m afraid any relationship you have is doomed.”
During one of our therapy sessions, Saraqael suggested Ra and I should put all our secrets on the table about what we had done while separated . Ra took the whole two hours running down the list of everyone he had any type of relationships with, the girls he peeped on, the times he lied to me or stretched the truth , and even went as far as to admitting he had been the one who spilled grape Kool- A id on my favorite white blouse.
When it came my turn to confess all, I said nothing. In Purgatory, I didn’t have the option of sleeping around or the luxury of grape Kool-Aid . When you’re in constant pain, you don’t really have the drive to check out another being’s package , much less have sex with them. For my life on Earth, it had been pretty boring. I’d never had a boyfriend except for Vetis when he pretended to be Ra , but we never did anything other than hold hands and kiss a few times but not with tongue .
“I didn’t hold back. I said what I needed to say.”
“Interesting. You’ve done nothing but lie to yourself and despite the fact it has gotten you here today, you can’t admit the truth. You should have told Ra why you’re really so demanding of time. You should have told him it’s not easy for you to accept he has had others, and when he’s not by your side, you imagine him with someone else. Maybe then he would have taken his punctuality issues a little more seriously. ”
Yes , it bothered me knowing Ra had the time of his life while my soul rotted away in Purgatory and on Earth , but I hadn’t been jealous. So what if he had constantly been surrounded by beautiful women he’d be physically capable of making love to. It didn’t matte r he met an ex-girlfriend in over half of all battle s since his return to Heaven. And who cared that during a few pizza de liveries some busty, size four twig would open her door in a negligée wanting more than just extra olives. After centuries of separation, I simply wanted to spend as much time with him as possible to rekindle what we had before everything went to Hell in a handbasket, literally.
“Saraqael, I appreciate what you’re doing for us, but I’m done for tonight. I’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow ?”
“The H eavens are buzzing about the nuptials of Gabriel and Amy. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But seriously , Etta, come clean with Ra , and you’ll see a world of difference in him. ”
“Yeah. Let’s just hope Ra doesn’t miss it either.” I said as I walked away.
I hadn’t been much in the mood for sitting at my parents’ house and needed someone on my side to talk to which left me with only one place to go.
Unable to get my brain to shut off during my stroll to Amy’s house , every thought I ever had about Ra and I raced in my mind . We’ d survived Heaven and Hell, yet it seemed Earth would be what would tear us apart.
Stepping through the threshold of the house I once shared with Amy, my hope to share my burdens with her deflated. Amy and Gabriel had been cuddled up on the couch so tightly they hadn’t noticed me enter the house. I tip-toed to my former room when I realized not only
“The first step to asking for forgiveness is to forgive yourself . You two hold so much guilt for what you have done to each other over the years. You’re allowing it to eat you both alive.” Saraqael pulled my hands from his shirt, clutching them tightly .
“What are you talking about? Over the years? Except for tonight, I have nothing to feel guilty about.” I push ed away from Saraqael .
“ Maybe you should have started tonight’s session with what is really troubling you.”
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” I declared, wiping my no se on my sleeve .
“I know you’re holding back , Etta. You did during our last session , and you’re doing it now. Until you can let the truth out, I’m afraid any relationship you have is doomed.”
During one of our therapy sessions, Saraqael suggested Ra and I should put all our secrets on the table about what we had done while separated . Ra took the whole two hours running down the list of everyone he had any type of relationships with, the girls he peeped on, the times he lied to me or stretched the truth , and even went as far as to admitting he had been the one who spilled grape Kool- A id on my favorite white blouse.
When it came my turn to confess all, I said nothing. In Purgatory, I didn’t have the option of sleeping around or the luxury of grape Kool-Aid . When you’re in constant pain, you don’t really have the drive to check out another being’s package , much less have sex with them. For my life on Earth, it had been pretty boring. I’d never had a boyfriend except for Vetis when he pretended to be Ra , but we never did anything other than hold hands and kiss a few times but not with tongue .
“I didn’t hold back. I said what I needed to say.”
“Interesting. You’ve done nothing but lie to yourself and despite the fact it has gotten you here today, you can’t admit the truth. You should have told Ra why you’re really so demanding of time. You should have told him it’s not easy for you to accept he has had others, and when he’s not by your side, you imagine him with someone else. Maybe then he would have taken his punctuality issues a little more seriously. ”
Yes , it bothered me knowing Ra had the time of his life while my soul rotted away in Purgatory and on Earth , but I hadn’t been jealous. So what if he had constantly been surrounded by beautiful women he’d be physically capable of making love to. It didn’t matte r he met an ex-girlfriend in over half of all battle s since his return to Heaven. And who cared that during a few pizza de liveries some busty, size four twig would open her door in a negligée wanting more than just extra olives. After centuries of separation, I simply wanted to spend as much time with him as possible to rekindle what we had before everything went to Hell in a handbasket, literally.
“Saraqael, I appreciate what you’re doing for us, but I’m done for tonight. I’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow ?”
“The H eavens are buzzing about the nuptials of Gabriel and Amy. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But seriously , Etta, come clean with Ra , and you’ll see a world of difference in him. ”
“Yeah. Let’s just hope Ra doesn’t miss it either.” I said as I walked away.
I hadn’t been much in the mood for sitting at my parents’ house and needed someone on my side to talk to which left me with only one place to go.
Unable to get my brain to shut off during my stroll to Amy’s house , every thought I ever had about Ra and I raced in my mind . We’ d survived Heaven and Hell, yet it seemed Earth would be what would tear us apart.
Stepping through the threshold of the house I once shared with Amy, my hope to share my burdens with her deflated. Amy and Gabriel had been cuddled up on the couch so tightly they hadn’t noticed me enter the house. I tip-toed to my former room when I realized not only
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