still. My mind is screaming like there’s a pillow obstructing my face, but the delicious pulsing between my legs keeps me sane. Sean slams into me harder and faster, rocking us higher and higher. I hear myself sob and don’t know why. I don’t understand the tears or the terror that’s coursing through me, but when I feel him between my legs, when Sean loses it and shoves into me that final time before he stills, I feel perfect, and my body responds and shatters. My nails bite into his skin as I cry out and feel the release.
The high from this is different, and I don’t know what to think. I can’t think. My body doesn’t know what I’m doing, or how it should react. I’m not sad, even though I shudder in his arms and tears streak my cheeks. My heart is pounding at the aftershocks and I can barely breathe, but it’s hard to tell if it’s from fear or euphoria.
I stay there like that, pressed to the wall with him still inside of me. Sean’s hands grip my thighs and his thumbs rub little circles on my skin. Neither of us says anything for a moment. I don’t want to move, but I can’t hold my legs around him any longer. They start shaking, so Sean pulls out and puts me down. My knees nearly buckle and my entire body is trembling, but I manage to pull the hem of my dress back down.
I hear Sean moving, redressing himself, before the lights come back on. They flicker, making me blink several times. As soon as his eyes adjust, he turns to look at me. Sean is pristine in his suit without a wrinkle on him. Meanwhile, I look and feel like a total mess. I’m covered in sweat and can barely stand.
For a moment we just watch each other. Then Sean finally says, “I can’t believe you did that for me.”
I lean back against the wall, and clutch the bar so I don’t fall over. I don’t trust myself to speak. Sean smiles at me and nods, before turning to the control panel again. I’m afraid he’s going to stop it and I can’t manage to be in here for another second. As it is, I’m going to need therapy after this, so I lunge for him. “No, please. I can’t.”
But Sean’s already done what he wanted. He pressed every button for every floor and then turns to me , smiling wide. “I needed more time, because I have something I need to tell you.” Sean tucks his chin and steps over to me, with his hands in his pockets. It’s such a boyish gesture, and so was pressing all the buttons, that I have no idea what he wants to do. The doors open and fresh air hits my face, calming me.
An irritated hotel employee is standing there with a crowd of people behind him. He’s saying something, but Sean ignores him. I take a deep breath before the doors slip shut again.
“Avery, I’m selfish. I’ve always been that way and what you just did was so completely…” he sucks in air and shakes his head. “There are no words. You give everything you hav e. You don’t hold back, and by God, if I could be like you for even a moment, if I could have your strength, your courage, your conviction—I can’t even fathom it.” The elevator is stopping floor by floor as he speaks. Sean doesn’t pause. He doesn’t look at the people waiting outside in the hallway, people who don’t want to get onto the broken elevator with the monologuing man.
The doors close and the pattern repeats until a little old lady gets on with us. She looks at me and then Sean, and smiles at his words. She’s wearing a pink paisley dress, with a matching pink satin bowling jacket that says RONKONKOMA SEXY DEVILS across the back, with an evening bag under her arm.
She reaches into it and hands me a tissue. “I think he’s going to ask you something, dear.” The old woman smiles, like this is the highlight of her night.
I take the tissue and dab my eyes. “Thank you, but you’re mistaken.” I don’t look at either of them and try to keep my gaze on the floor.
That’s when Sean drops to one knee and holds up a ring to me. “She’s not
The high from this is different, and I don’t know what to think. I can’t think. My body doesn’t know what I’m doing, or how it should react. I’m not sad, even though I shudder in his arms and tears streak my cheeks. My heart is pounding at the aftershocks and I can barely breathe, but it’s hard to tell if it’s from fear or euphoria.
I stay there like that, pressed to the wall with him still inside of me. Sean’s hands grip my thighs and his thumbs rub little circles on my skin. Neither of us says anything for a moment. I don’t want to move, but I can’t hold my legs around him any longer. They start shaking, so Sean pulls out and puts me down. My knees nearly buckle and my entire body is trembling, but I manage to pull the hem of my dress back down.
I hear Sean moving, redressing himself, before the lights come back on. They flicker, making me blink several times. As soon as his eyes adjust, he turns to look at me. Sean is pristine in his suit without a wrinkle on him. Meanwhile, I look and feel like a total mess. I’m covered in sweat and can barely stand.
For a moment we just watch each other. Then Sean finally says, “I can’t believe you did that for me.”
I lean back against the wall, and clutch the bar so I don’t fall over. I don’t trust myself to speak. Sean smiles at me and nods, before turning to the control panel again. I’m afraid he’s going to stop it and I can’t manage to be in here for another second. As it is, I’m going to need therapy after this, so I lunge for him. “No, please. I can’t.”
But Sean’s already done what he wanted. He pressed every button for every floor and then turns to me , smiling wide. “I needed more time, because I have something I need to tell you.” Sean tucks his chin and steps over to me, with his hands in his pockets. It’s such a boyish gesture, and so was pressing all the buttons, that I have no idea what he wants to do. The doors open and fresh air hits my face, calming me.
An irritated hotel employee is standing there with a crowd of people behind him. He’s saying something, but Sean ignores him. I take a deep breath before the doors slip shut again.
“Avery, I’m selfish. I’ve always been that way and what you just did was so completely…” he sucks in air and shakes his head. “There are no words. You give everything you hav e. You don’t hold back, and by God, if I could be like you for even a moment, if I could have your strength, your courage, your conviction—I can’t even fathom it.” The elevator is stopping floor by floor as he speaks. Sean doesn’t pause. He doesn’t look at the people waiting outside in the hallway, people who don’t want to get onto the broken elevator with the monologuing man.
The doors close and the pattern repeats until a little old lady gets on with us. She looks at me and then Sean, and smiles at his words. She’s wearing a pink paisley dress, with a matching pink satin bowling jacket that says RONKONKOMA SEXY DEVILS across the back, with an evening bag under her arm.
She reaches into it and hands me a tissue. “I think he’s going to ask you something, dear.” The old woman smiles, like this is the highlight of her night.
I take the tissue and dab my eyes. “Thank you, but you’re mistaken.” I don’t look at either of them and try to keep my gaze on the floor.
That’s when Sean drops to one knee and holds up a ring to me. “She’s not
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