didn’t take out my hand. See?” Sean stops on a frame and I can make out his ring on his finger between the bed sheets. “Fast forward a frame or two and it’s gone.”
“How’d you even find this?” I’m staring at the screen wondering who would make a fake sex video of me, but that’s the question I ask.
“The IP address matched an email I received a while back. The letter was nice enough, but it just seemed off. I’ve been digging around looking for more to pop up, but nothing did—until now.”
“Do you think it’s Henry?” I ask nervously.
Sean shakes his head. “Does it look like Henry?”
“It wouldn’t have to be him in the video.”
“No, Henry Thomas had a crush on you. If he made this, he would have used his own image and made things more visible. He would have emailed it to me to show off his trophy. This isn’t like him.” Sean stares at the screen for a while longer, silent.
I go back to my bed and lay down. My phone chirps. There’s a message from a number I don’t recognize, but I know it’s from Mel.
B SAFE. U OWE ME A STACK WHEN THIS SHIT IS DONE.
I text back.
K. IHOP IT IS.
I want to ask her where she is and if she’s all right, but I know better. This is safer. Some lunatic is trying to kill me. If they’re trying to clean up their mess, they’ll be after Mel too.
Sean doesn’t ask who I’m texting. Instead, he comes and sits next to me on the bed. He changes the conversation. “No sex for a while, okay?” His voice is too serious to be joking.
I don’t like it. I want my Sean back, the one that’s all smiles. “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with my camel-toe couch?”
He grins and bumps his shoulder into mine. “I need to work some things out, so what happened today doesn’t reoccur. Give me a little time, if you can.” Sean has his hands clasped in front of him and is looking down. His dark hair obscures his eyes and the slant of his shoulders lets me know how upset he really is.
“Sean, I love you. I’d give you anything and everything.” I put my arm around him, but he flinches. My smile fades as I take my hand back and slip it into my lap. “No touching? Sean, talk to me. Please .” I can help you . Those are the words I so desperately want to say, but I wonder if I can. What if I can’t and I just make it worse. Whatever happened today, whatever past he slipped into is a reality that he wants to erase. But the past can’t be wiped clean. There are no do-overs and the chalk outline will always be there no matter how many times we try to wipe it away.
“One day, Avery, just not today.” He won’t lift his face. I think I finally understand what he means, although it isn’t what he says.
Whatever he did, whatever happened in the past, he can’t admit it to himself yet—so he can’t tell me. Not yet. “Okay, but I’m going to have trouble with the no touching thing.”
“That won’t last long. It’s the aftershocks.” He finally turns his head and looks into my eyes. “You’re amazing. I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t.”
I offer a lopsided smile and resist the urge to throw my arms around him. It’d be like setting off a bomb and he’s already covered in shrapnel. Why do good intentions turn to crap?
Stop it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There she is, that voice within me—the part of me that’s sick of complaining and excuses—she’s the savage part of me, comprised of a drop of animal instinct combined with raw rage that’s kept me alive this long. Everyone steps in shit. They keep walking and it comes off. Move, Avery. Let Sean deal with his crap and you deal with yours.
My spine straightens and my voice is more certain when I speak. “We deserve each other. There’s no one I’d rather be with—ever. Get used to the idea, because I’m not changing my mind.”
CHAPTER 13
We pull out Monopoly, the world’s longest game,
“How’d you even find this?” I’m staring at the screen wondering who would make a fake sex video of me, but that’s the question I ask.
“The IP address matched an email I received a while back. The letter was nice enough, but it just seemed off. I’ve been digging around looking for more to pop up, but nothing did—until now.”
“Do you think it’s Henry?” I ask nervously.
Sean shakes his head. “Does it look like Henry?”
“It wouldn’t have to be him in the video.”
“No, Henry Thomas had a crush on you. If he made this, he would have used his own image and made things more visible. He would have emailed it to me to show off his trophy. This isn’t like him.” Sean stares at the screen for a while longer, silent.
I go back to my bed and lay down. My phone chirps. There’s a message from a number I don’t recognize, but I know it’s from Mel.
B SAFE. U OWE ME A STACK WHEN THIS SHIT IS DONE.
I text back.
K. IHOP IT IS.
I want to ask her where she is and if she’s all right, but I know better. This is safer. Some lunatic is trying to kill me. If they’re trying to clean up their mess, they’ll be after Mel too.
Sean doesn’t ask who I’m texting. Instead, he comes and sits next to me on the bed. He changes the conversation. “No sex for a while, okay?” His voice is too serious to be joking.
I don’t like it. I want my Sean back, the one that’s all smiles. “Okay, but what am I supposed to do with my camel-toe couch?”
He grins and bumps his shoulder into mine. “I need to work some things out, so what happened today doesn’t reoccur. Give me a little time, if you can.” Sean has his hands clasped in front of him and is looking down. His dark hair obscures his eyes and the slant of his shoulders lets me know how upset he really is.
“Sean, I love you. I’d give you anything and everything.” I put my arm around him, but he flinches. My smile fades as I take my hand back and slip it into my lap. “No touching? Sean, talk to me. Please .” I can help you . Those are the words I so desperately want to say, but I wonder if I can. What if I can’t and I just make it worse. Whatever happened today, whatever past he slipped into is a reality that he wants to erase. But the past can’t be wiped clean. There are no do-overs and the chalk outline will always be there no matter how many times we try to wipe it away.
“One day, Avery, just not today.” He won’t lift his face. I think I finally understand what he means, although it isn’t what he says.
Whatever he did, whatever happened in the past, he can’t admit it to himself yet—so he can’t tell me. Not yet. “Okay, but I’m going to have trouble with the no touching thing.”
“That won’t last long. It’s the aftershocks.” He finally turns his head and looks into my eyes. “You’re amazing. I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t.”
I offer a lopsided smile and resist the urge to throw my arms around him. It’d be like setting off a bomb and he’s already covered in shrapnel. Why do good intentions turn to crap?
Stop it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There she is, that voice within me—the part of me that’s sick of complaining and excuses—she’s the savage part of me, comprised of a drop of animal instinct combined with raw rage that’s kept me alive this long. Everyone steps in shit. They keep walking and it comes off. Move, Avery. Let Sean deal with his crap and you deal with yours.
My spine straightens and my voice is more certain when I speak. “We deserve each other. There’s no one I’d rather be with—ever. Get used to the idea, because I’m not changing my mind.”
CHAPTER 13
We pull out Monopoly, the world’s longest game,
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