Cassidy found herself saying all kinds of gibberish. What exactly was sleepy-pie?
With a shake of her head, Cassidy laughed at her giddy thoughts. At the same time Alex swung his hand, catching hold of her hair. Cassidy’s head was yanked sideways. Tears smarted at the corners of her eyes. With painful care, shemanaged to peel back each tiny finger until she was free again. Alex laughed up at her.
“Come on, buddy. Please. Go to sleep. I’m going to lay you down in your crib like a big boy and turn on your favorite lullaby.” She did so, simultaneously activating the video monitor over his bed.
He gooed happily, arms and legs waving. Slowly, breath held, she backed to the doorway. So far, so good. She snapped off the light. Only the tinkling lilt of Brahm’s lullaby shimmered in the quiet.
With a relieved exhale, she tiptoed down the hallway and fell facedown, still fully dressed, on a down comforter that had cost three days’ pay. Normally fussy about anything on top of that cover, right now she was too tired to care.
From the monitor at her bedside came the continuing sounds of lullabies and baby noises. All was well in the nursery. Maybe tonight was the night Alex would sleep.
Cassidy thought about getting up to read her devotional, something she hadn’t done since Alex moved in. Instead, she muttered a half-baked prayer, eyes closed, body beginning to float away. Thank goodness. Rest.
The banshee cry shot a stinging bolus of adrenaline into her brain. She sat straight up.
“No. Please,” she whimpered like a kicked pup. “Don’t cry.”
But the sounds from the monitor grew louder and more furious.
“What could he want?” He was fed, changed, warm. What could be wrong with him?
Cassidy brushed limp hair from her face and stumbled into the baby’s room. “What is it, sweetheart? Tell Aunt Cassidy.”
If only he could tell her. If only she understood his signals. Janna always said she could tell the difference between every cry.
“Not me.” Every cry sounded the same—painful to the ears and nerves.
Maybe she didn’t have the mother gene. “Lord, I’m trying. Show me what to do.”
Such a pathetic prayer, she almost felt guilty for praying it.
“I want to make him happy. I want to be a good mom.” She lifted Alex’s stiff, screaming body against her shoulder. “I love you, Alexander Brown. I love you.”
She began to swing her body back and forth, back and forth in what she hoped was a soothing rhythm. Alex kept crying.
Out on her feet, ready to collapse, she considered taking him into her bed. But if she lay down on the bed with him, she might fall asleep. Wasn’t that a bad thing to do? Wouldn’t she be in danger of rolling on him or something horrid like that?
Alex stiffened his whole body, pushing back from her shoulder to scream into her ear. His red, contorted face indicated something was wrong. But what?
She slid into the rocker again. What if she rocked herself to sleep and dropped him? The high-pitched crying rose a notch. Not much chance of falling asleep right now.
Arms heavy, head aching, she rocked and prayed. Alex found no comfort.
Her heart ached, too, knowing that Janna would have known what to do. Brad and Janna should be here, loving their baby, tending to his needs, not her. Not a workaholic aunt whose only venture into caregiving was a dozen exotic house plants.
She needed help. But who? Last night, she’d phoned every coworker she could think of. Some had laughed at her. Some had offered advice that hadn’t worked. The trouble was, most of her friends were single.
“I know you miss your mommy, Alex.” Tears pressed at the back of her eyelids. “I miss her, too.”
Alex jerked his knees to his chest and screamed.
Cassidy paced to the front window, murmuring words of comfort and slips of prayers. Light from an apartment below and to the right of hers beamed like a beacon of hope.
James and Marla were still awake. Maybe they would have an
With a shake of her head, Cassidy laughed at her giddy thoughts. At the same time Alex swung his hand, catching hold of her hair. Cassidy’s head was yanked sideways. Tears smarted at the corners of her eyes. With painful care, shemanaged to peel back each tiny finger until she was free again. Alex laughed up at her.
“Come on, buddy. Please. Go to sleep. I’m going to lay you down in your crib like a big boy and turn on your favorite lullaby.” She did so, simultaneously activating the video monitor over his bed.
He gooed happily, arms and legs waving. Slowly, breath held, she backed to the doorway. So far, so good. She snapped off the light. Only the tinkling lilt of Brahm’s lullaby shimmered in the quiet.
With a relieved exhale, she tiptoed down the hallway and fell facedown, still fully dressed, on a down comforter that had cost three days’ pay. Normally fussy about anything on top of that cover, right now she was too tired to care.
From the monitor at her bedside came the continuing sounds of lullabies and baby noises. All was well in the nursery. Maybe tonight was the night Alex would sleep.
Cassidy thought about getting up to read her devotional, something she hadn’t done since Alex moved in. Instead, she muttered a half-baked prayer, eyes closed, body beginning to float away. Thank goodness. Rest.
The banshee cry shot a stinging bolus of adrenaline into her brain. She sat straight up.
“No. Please,” she whimpered like a kicked pup. “Don’t cry.”
But the sounds from the monitor grew louder and more furious.
“What could he want?” He was fed, changed, warm. What could be wrong with him?
Cassidy brushed limp hair from her face and stumbled into the baby’s room. “What is it, sweetheart? Tell Aunt Cassidy.”
If only he could tell her. If only she understood his signals. Janna always said she could tell the difference between every cry.
“Not me.” Every cry sounded the same—painful to the ears and nerves.
Maybe she didn’t have the mother gene. “Lord, I’m trying. Show me what to do.”
Such a pathetic prayer, she almost felt guilty for praying it.
“I want to make him happy. I want to be a good mom.” She lifted Alex’s stiff, screaming body against her shoulder. “I love you, Alexander Brown. I love you.”
She began to swing her body back and forth, back and forth in what she hoped was a soothing rhythm. Alex kept crying.
Out on her feet, ready to collapse, she considered taking him into her bed. But if she lay down on the bed with him, she might fall asleep. Wasn’t that a bad thing to do? Wouldn’t she be in danger of rolling on him or something horrid like that?
Alex stiffened his whole body, pushing back from her shoulder to scream into her ear. His red, contorted face indicated something was wrong. But what?
She slid into the rocker again. What if she rocked herself to sleep and dropped him? The high-pitched crying rose a notch. Not much chance of falling asleep right now.
Arms heavy, head aching, she rocked and prayed. Alex found no comfort.
Her heart ached, too, knowing that Janna would have known what to do. Brad and Janna should be here, loving their baby, tending to his needs, not her. Not a workaholic aunt whose only venture into caregiving was a dozen exotic house plants.
She needed help. But who? Last night, she’d phoned every coworker she could think of. Some had laughed at her. Some had offered advice that hadn’t worked. The trouble was, most of her friends were single.
“I know you miss your mommy, Alex.” Tears pressed at the back of her eyelids. “I miss her, too.”
Alex jerked his knees to his chest and screamed.
Cassidy paced to the front window, murmuring words of comfort and slips of prayers. Light from an apartment below and to the right of hers beamed like a beacon of hope.
James and Marla were still awake. Maybe they would have an
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