The Best You'll Ever Have by Valerie Frankel, Shannon Mullen Page A

pleasurable feeling completely intertwined with the sensation that she must excuse herself immediately and rush to the bathroom. In reaction to this sensation, women tense up, stop thinking of the pleasure and sensation, and focus only on not having an accident.
    In Safina Salons, it’s always a satisfying moment when I describe this sensation to a group of women and then hear many of them say, “I’ve felt that.” Understanding is the first step toward openness to new experiences. I tell the women that if they’re getting the have-to-pee sensation, they’re on the right track, not to seize with fear, and to let the feeling wash over them. They look up at me with relief and gratitude, eager to leave the Salon and go home to their partners to try it out. So, without further ado, let’s get to the matter at hand.

    The Nerve
    Some basic anatomical information: when you put your finger into your vagina as you curve along the abdominal-side front wall, you can feel ridges. What you’re feeling through the vaginal wall is the protective tissue wrapped like insulation around the urethra (that’s a tube connected to your bladder out of which you urinate). That protective tissue, the insulation, is erectile tissue and is filled with nerve endings. When you’re turned on, that tissue becomes enlarged and richly sensitive. The G-spot is part of this band of sensitive tissue. Light bulbs must be going off: this is why stimulation of the G-spot—actually, stimulation of the urethral wall—can be uncomfortable or confused with the sensation of having to urinate.
    The spot itself is really an area, a dense patch of ridgy texture that varies in size from woman to woman. Just as the cervix varies in size from as small as a silver dollar to as large as a small pancake, your G-spot might vary in size from a nickel to a half-dollar. You may also find it only to realize that it’s not very sensitive or that it’s not your favorite sensation, but you might as well know that for sure instead of wondering. It could be that it’s your favorite place in the world . . .
    The Search Party Begins
    Break out the rubber gloves! Kidding. But actually, before you start the expedition deep into the core of yourself, you will want to have some lubrication at hand. Lubrication is another topic that goes undiscussed between women. There is a mistaken notion that it should be unnecessary. Lubrication is as necessary as hand cream. You might not want to use it every day, but it’s great to have around and really, you can never have enough lubrication. If you’ve never tried it, you’ll see it adds to your fun and feels great. I recommend Liquid Silk, but K-Y will do in a pinch. Don’t use household products though. Use real lubricant to avoid upsetting the natural balance of your body. With a partner or alone, this search will be fruitless unless you’re in the right frame of mind (the G-spot just won’t be there). So go pee (to avoid anxiety about that), and then get yourself excited in whatever way you prefer.
    Now, locate your pubic bone. Imagine you’re wearing jeans, and press down on where the base of the zipper would be. Feel that hard bone? It’s lower than you might have thought. Most women, when searching for the pubic bone, start pressing in middle of their pelvis and have to work their way down. The pubic bone is about one-third of the way into your vagina. The bottom one-third of your vagina is where most of the nerve endings and sensation are concentrated (probably so you don’t die of pain when you have a baby and your cervix has to open up). THE G-SPOT IS DIRECTLY BEHIND THE PUBIC BONE. That’s marker number one.
    Next, acquaint yourself with the pubococcygeus muscle (henceforth, PC muscle). This is easy. Once again, think tampon insertion. When women first give this a go, the wall of resistance that they have to pop through to get the tampon far enough into the vagina often troubles them. That wall of resistance is the PC