it, giving charity to the needy.
Shahid You don’t look needy to me and I’m not in the giving mood.
Strapper Stop running from your own – they’s the only ones to depend on, when the shit hits the fan.
Shahid I’m not running from anyone. Except you.
Strapper No need to insult, Paki.
Shahid I’m not a Paki!
Strapper Course you are. We all are, those who’ve been left behind.
Strapper runs off, as Shahid heads to Deedee’s. Music, as he rushes through a wintry London night .
SCENE NINE
Deedee’s house. Deedee has prepared a candlelit dinner. Shahid rushes in .
Shahid Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Beat, as Deedee looks at how Shahid is dressed .
Deedee In your pyjamas already?
Shahid You don’t know what’s happening out there – urgent brother business! Chad was this close to carving some serious meat.
Deedee No surprise there – he wanted to chuck a bomb on his parents. That’s after he met Riaz, of course. Changed his name from Trevor Buss to Muhammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah.
Shahid What? Chad?
Deedee He was brought up by white foster-parents. Foul-mouthed and racist to everyone but their son. No wonder he became a shooter. Riaz took him under his wing. Insisted everyone call him by his whole new name, even when playing football. His mates got fed up shouting, ‘Pass the ball, Muhammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah – on my head, Muhammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah.’ So he became Chad.
She offers some wine. Shahid makes a face .
Are there any pleasures you don’t eschew? Or is it only salted lassi you drink?
Shahid What about fighting racism?
Deedee Is that what you think Riaz does?
Shahid He is pure of purpose and risking his life guarding the flat of a persecuted couple right now.
Deedee Riaz denounced his own father for drinking alcohol and praying in his armchair and not on his knees. He made you wear that, didn’t he?
Shahid What’s wrong with them?
Deedee Didn’t take you for a disciple.
Shahid Can’t I admire him for his courage?
The doorbell rings. Deedee opens the door to Chili .
Chili What are you called when someone’s asking?
Deedee Deedee. Deedee Osgood.
Chili ( kissing her hands ) Tell me, Deedee Osgood, is my baby bro safe in your hands?
Deedee ( appraising him ) You must be Chili.
Chili At your service.
Deedee One Hasan at a time is more than enough.
Chili Are you sure?
Deedee laughs
A woman’s laugh – better than any rush known to man.
Deedee Quite the priest. I can’t imagine you giving a sermon.
Chili I could be a very Jesus in bed.
Shahid What you doing here, Chili?
Chili I was concerned, bro. Thought that bad posse might have messed with you.
Deedee They have.
Chili ( to Shahid ) Just say the word, and Chili will have a friendly chat.
Shahid I’ll take care of myself.
Chili Just take her in your arms. Want me to demonstrate?
Deedee I’m not clean enough for him. I’ve become a sort of pork chop.
Chili But his knees used to go weak at the sight of a bacon sarni. ( To Shahid .) If Papa were alive, he’d have a fucking heart attack seeing you dressed like Ali Baba.
Shahid That’s who we are, bro! ( To Deedee .) We don’t sit swigging wine all evening!
Deedee What alternative are you offering?
Chili And you two not even married yet …!
He picks up a beer and leaves. Pause .
Deedee It’s very original, the way you weave Scheherazade into your story. The Arabian Nights in Sevenoaks. No one’s written like this about England – you have a voice and a future, Shahid.
Shahid is speechless .
This is the new literature – when stories from elsewhere slice into conventional England. Rushdie showed there’s a gap in modern writing that can only be filled by stories like yours. You could be the real deal. You could be published by Faber and Faber and
Shahid You don’t look needy to me and I’m not in the giving mood.
Strapper Stop running from your own – they’s the only ones to depend on, when the shit hits the fan.
Shahid I’m not running from anyone. Except you.
Strapper No need to insult, Paki.
Shahid I’m not a Paki!
Strapper Course you are. We all are, those who’ve been left behind.
Strapper runs off, as Shahid heads to Deedee’s. Music, as he rushes through a wintry London night .
SCENE NINE
Deedee’s house. Deedee has prepared a candlelit dinner. Shahid rushes in .
Shahid Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Beat, as Deedee looks at how Shahid is dressed .
Deedee In your pyjamas already?
Shahid You don’t know what’s happening out there – urgent brother business! Chad was this close to carving some serious meat.
Deedee No surprise there – he wanted to chuck a bomb on his parents. That’s after he met Riaz, of course. Changed his name from Trevor Buss to Muhammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah.
Shahid What? Chad?
Deedee He was brought up by white foster-parents. Foul-mouthed and racist to everyone but their son. No wonder he became a shooter. Riaz took him under his wing. Insisted everyone call him by his whole new name, even when playing football. His mates got fed up shouting, ‘Pass the ball, Muhammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah – on my head, Muhammad Shahabuddin Ali-Shah.’ So he became Chad.
She offers some wine. Shahid makes a face .
Are there any pleasures you don’t eschew? Or is it only salted lassi you drink?
Shahid What about fighting racism?
Deedee Is that what you think Riaz does?
Shahid He is pure of purpose and risking his life guarding the flat of a persecuted couple right now.
Deedee Riaz denounced his own father for drinking alcohol and praying in his armchair and not on his knees. He made you wear that, didn’t he?
Shahid What’s wrong with them?
Deedee Didn’t take you for a disciple.
Shahid Can’t I admire him for his courage?
The doorbell rings. Deedee opens the door to Chili .
Chili What are you called when someone’s asking?
Deedee Deedee. Deedee Osgood.
Chili ( kissing her hands ) Tell me, Deedee Osgood, is my baby bro safe in your hands?
Deedee ( appraising him ) You must be Chili.
Chili At your service.
Deedee One Hasan at a time is more than enough.
Chili Are you sure?
Deedee laughs
A woman’s laugh – better than any rush known to man.
Deedee Quite the priest. I can’t imagine you giving a sermon.
Chili I could be a very Jesus in bed.
Shahid What you doing here, Chili?
Chili I was concerned, bro. Thought that bad posse might have messed with you.
Deedee They have.
Chili ( to Shahid ) Just say the word, and Chili will have a friendly chat.
Shahid I’ll take care of myself.
Chili Just take her in your arms. Want me to demonstrate?
Deedee I’m not clean enough for him. I’ve become a sort of pork chop.
Chili But his knees used to go weak at the sight of a bacon sarni. ( To Shahid .) If Papa were alive, he’d have a fucking heart attack seeing you dressed like Ali Baba.
Shahid That’s who we are, bro! ( To Deedee .) We don’t sit swigging wine all evening!
Deedee What alternative are you offering?
Chili And you two not even married yet …!
He picks up a beer and leaves. Pause .
Deedee It’s very original, the way you weave Scheherazade into your story. The Arabian Nights in Sevenoaks. No one’s written like this about England – you have a voice and a future, Shahid.
Shahid is speechless .
This is the new literature – when stories from elsewhere slice into conventional England. Rushdie showed there’s a gap in modern writing that can only be filled by stories like yours. You could be the real deal. You could be published by Faber and Faber and
Similar Books
