the next step. The pregnancy just hurried things along. Looking back on it, though, I can see if she hadn’t got pregnant we might not have ended up married. It was right on the cusp, when everything was changing. Things were starting to take off in a big way for the company Dominic and I had started.’
‘You didn’t try for a baby again?’
‘Fern didn’t want kids. Felt the planet was already over-populated. That it was irresponsible to have children.’
‘And you?’ She held her breath for his answer.
During her infrequent forays into dating she’d found the children issue became urgent for thirty-somethings. For women there was the very real fact of declining fertility. And men like her ex thought they had biological clocks too. Craig had worried about being an old dad. He’d been obsessed with being able to play active sports with his kids. Boys, of course, in particular. Having come from a farming family, where boys had been valued more than girls, that had always rankled with her.
Jake’s jaw had set and she could see the hard-headed businessman under the charming exterior.
‘I’ve never wanted to have children. My ex and I were in agreement about not wanting kids.’
‘What about in the future?’
He shook his head. ‘I won’t change my mind. I don’t want to be a father. Ever .’
‘I see,’ she said, absorbing what he meant. What it meant to her. It was something she didn’t want to share with him at this stage. She might be out of here this afternoon and never see him again.
‘My support group devoted a lot of time to warnings about women who might try and trap a wealthy, newly single guy into marriage by getting pregnant,’ he said.
‘Doesn’t it take two to get a woman pregnant?’
‘The odds can be unfairly stacked when one half of the equation lies about using contraception.’
Eliza pulled a face. ‘Those poor old gold-diggers again. I don’t know any woman I could label as a gold-digger, and we do parties through all echelons of Sydney society. Are there really legions of women ready to trap men into marriage by getting pregnant?’
‘I don’t know about legions, but they definitely exist. The other guys in that group were proof of that. It can be a real problem for rich men. A baby means lifetime child support—that’s a guaranteed income for a certain type of woman.’
‘But surely—’
Jake put up a hand at her protest. ‘Hear me out. Some of those men were targeted when they were most vulnerable. It’s good to be forewarned. I certainly wouldn’t want to find myself caught in a trap like that.’
‘Well, you don’t have to worry about me,’ she said. In light of this conversation, she had to tell him. ‘I can’t—’
He put a finger over her mouth. She took it between her teeth and gently nipped it.
‘Be assured I don’t think of you like that,’ he said. ‘Your fierce independence is one of the things I like about you.’
‘Seriously, Jake. Listen to me. I wouldn’t be able to hold you to ransom with a pregnancy because...because...’ How she hated admitting to her failure to be able to fulfil a woman’s deepest biological purpose. ‘I...I can’t have children.’
He stilled. ‘Eliza, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘Of course you didn’t know. It’s not something I blurt out too often.’ She hated to be defined by her infertility. Hated to be pitied. Poor Eliza—you know she can’t have kids?
‘How? Why?’
‘I had a ruptured appendix when I was twelve years old. No one took it too seriously at first. They put my tummy pains down to something I ate. Or puberty. But the pain got worse. By the time they got me to hospital—remember we lived a long way from the nearest town—the appendix had burst and septicaemia had set in.’
Jake took her hand, gripped it tight. ‘Eliza, I’m so sorry. Couldn’t the doctors have done something?’
‘I don’t know. I was twelve and very ill. Turned out I was lucky to be alive.
‘You didn’t try for a baby again?’
‘Fern didn’t want kids. Felt the planet was already over-populated. That it was irresponsible to have children.’
‘And you?’ She held her breath for his answer.
During her infrequent forays into dating she’d found the children issue became urgent for thirty-somethings. For women there was the very real fact of declining fertility. And men like her ex thought they had biological clocks too. Craig had worried about being an old dad. He’d been obsessed with being able to play active sports with his kids. Boys, of course, in particular. Having come from a farming family, where boys had been valued more than girls, that had always rankled with her.
Jake’s jaw had set and she could see the hard-headed businessman under the charming exterior.
‘I’ve never wanted to have children. My ex and I were in agreement about not wanting kids.’
‘What about in the future?’
He shook his head. ‘I won’t change my mind. I don’t want to be a father. Ever .’
‘I see,’ she said, absorbing what he meant. What it meant to her. It was something she didn’t want to share with him at this stage. She might be out of here this afternoon and never see him again.
‘My support group devoted a lot of time to warnings about women who might try and trap a wealthy, newly single guy into marriage by getting pregnant,’ he said.
‘Doesn’t it take two to get a woman pregnant?’
‘The odds can be unfairly stacked when one half of the equation lies about using contraception.’
Eliza pulled a face. ‘Those poor old gold-diggers again. I don’t know any woman I could label as a gold-digger, and we do parties through all echelons of Sydney society. Are there really legions of women ready to trap men into marriage by getting pregnant?’
‘I don’t know about legions, but they definitely exist. The other guys in that group were proof of that. It can be a real problem for rich men. A baby means lifetime child support—that’s a guaranteed income for a certain type of woman.’
‘But surely—’
Jake put up a hand at her protest. ‘Hear me out. Some of those men were targeted when they were most vulnerable. It’s good to be forewarned. I certainly wouldn’t want to find myself caught in a trap like that.’
‘Well, you don’t have to worry about me,’ she said. In light of this conversation, she had to tell him. ‘I can’t—’
He put a finger over her mouth. She took it between her teeth and gently nipped it.
‘Be assured I don’t think of you like that,’ he said. ‘Your fierce independence is one of the things I like about you.’
‘Seriously, Jake. Listen to me. I wouldn’t be able to hold you to ransom with a pregnancy because...because...’ How she hated admitting to her failure to be able to fulfil a woman’s deepest biological purpose. ‘I...I can’t have children.’
He stilled. ‘Eliza, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘Of course you didn’t know. It’s not something I blurt out too often.’ She hated to be defined by her infertility. Hated to be pitied. Poor Eliza—you know she can’t have kids?
‘How? Why?’
‘I had a ruptured appendix when I was twelve years old. No one took it too seriously at first. They put my tummy pains down to something I ate. Or puberty. But the pain got worse. By the time they got me to hospital—remember we lived a long way from the nearest town—the appendix had burst and septicaemia had set in.’
Jake took her hand, gripped it tight. ‘Eliza, I’m so sorry. Couldn’t the doctors have done something?’
‘I don’t know. I was twelve and very ill. Turned out I was lucky to be alive.
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