Unfortunately no one told me, or my parents, what damage it had done to my reproductive system—the potential for scar tissue on the fallopian tubes. I wasn’t aware of the problem until I tried to have a baby and couldn’t fall pregnant. Only then was I told that infertility is a not uncommon side effect of a burst appendix.’
He frowned. ‘I really don’t know what to say.’
‘What can you say? Don’t try. You can see why I don’t like to talk about it.’
‘You said your ex wanted to start a family? Is that why you split?’
‘In part, yes. He was already over thirty and he really wanted to have kids. His own kids. Adoption wasn’t an option for him. I wanted children too, though probably later rather than sooner. I never thought I wouldn’t be able to have a baby. I always believed I would be a mother. And one day a grandmother. Even a great-grandmother. I’ll miss out on all of that.’
‘I’m sorry, Eliza,’ he said again.
She couldn’t admit to him—to anyone—her deep, underlying sense of failure as a woman. How she grieved the loss of her dream of being a mother, which had died when the truth of her infertility had been forced into her face with the results of scans and X-rays.
‘They don’t test you until after a year of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant,’ she said. ‘Then the tests take a while. My ex couldn’t deal with it. By that stage he thought he’d invested enough time in me.’
Jake spat out a number of choice names for her ex. Eliza didn’t contradict him.
‘By that stage he’d proved what a dreadful, controlling man he was and I was glad to be rid of him. Still, my sense of failure was multiplied by his reaction. He actually used the word “barren” at one stage. How old-fashioned was that?’
‘I’d call it worse than that. I’d call it cruel.’
‘I guess it was.’ One of a long list of casual cruelties he’d inflicted on her.
Eliza hadn’t wanted to introduce such a heavy subject into her time with Jake, those memories were best left buried.
‘Where did you meet this jerk—your ex, I mean—and not know what he was really like? Online?’
‘At work. I told you when I first met you how I started my working life as an accountant at a magazine publishing company. I loved the industry, and jumped at the chance to move into the sales side when it came up. My success there and my finance background gave me a good shot at a publisher’s role with another company. He was my boss at the new company.’
‘You married the boss?’
‘The classic cliché,’ she said. ‘But what made him a good publisher made him a terrible husband. Now, I don’t want to waste another second talking about him. He’s in my past and staying there. I moved to a different publishing company—and a promotion—and never looked back. Then when the next magazine I worked on folded—as happens in publishing—Andie, Gemma and I started Party Queens.’
‘And became the most in-demand party-planners in Sydney,’ he said.
Sometimes it seemed to Eliza as if her brief marriage had never happened. But the wounds Craig had left behind him were still there. She’d been devastated at the doctor’s prognosis of infertility caused by damaged fallopian tubes. Craig had only thought about what it meant to him . Eliza had realised she couldn’t live with his mental abuse. But she still struggled with doubt and distrust when it came to men.
Thank heaven she’d had the sense to insist they signed a pre-nup. He’d had no claim on her pre-marriage apartment, and she’d emerged from the marriage financially unscathed.
‘I suppose your “dating after divorce” advice included getting a watertight pre-nup before any future nuptials?’ she said. ‘I’m here to suggest it’s a good idea. To add to all his faults, my ex proved to be an appalling money-manager.’
‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘That was all tied up with the gold-digger advice.’
Eliza laughed, but she was
He frowned. ‘I really don’t know what to say.’
‘What can you say? Don’t try. You can see why I don’t like to talk about it.’
‘You said your ex wanted to start a family? Is that why you split?’
‘In part, yes. He was already over thirty and he really wanted to have kids. His own kids. Adoption wasn’t an option for him. I wanted children too, though probably later rather than sooner. I never thought I wouldn’t be able to have a baby. I always believed I would be a mother. And one day a grandmother. Even a great-grandmother. I’ll miss out on all of that.’
‘I’m sorry, Eliza,’ he said again.
She couldn’t admit to him—to anyone—her deep, underlying sense of failure as a woman. How she grieved the loss of her dream of being a mother, which had died when the truth of her infertility had been forced into her face with the results of scans and X-rays.
‘They don’t test you until after a year of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant,’ she said. ‘Then the tests take a while. My ex couldn’t deal with it. By that stage he thought he’d invested enough time in me.’
Jake spat out a number of choice names for her ex. Eliza didn’t contradict him.
‘By that stage he’d proved what a dreadful, controlling man he was and I was glad to be rid of him. Still, my sense of failure was multiplied by his reaction. He actually used the word “barren” at one stage. How old-fashioned was that?’
‘I’d call it worse than that. I’d call it cruel.’
‘I guess it was.’ One of a long list of casual cruelties he’d inflicted on her.
Eliza hadn’t wanted to introduce such a heavy subject into her time with Jake, those memories were best left buried.
‘Where did you meet this jerk—your ex, I mean—and not know what he was really like? Online?’
‘At work. I told you when I first met you how I started my working life as an accountant at a magazine publishing company. I loved the industry, and jumped at the chance to move into the sales side when it came up. My success there and my finance background gave me a good shot at a publisher’s role with another company. He was my boss at the new company.’
‘You married the boss?’
‘The classic cliché,’ she said. ‘But what made him a good publisher made him a terrible husband. Now, I don’t want to waste another second talking about him. He’s in my past and staying there. I moved to a different publishing company—and a promotion—and never looked back. Then when the next magazine I worked on folded—as happens in publishing—Andie, Gemma and I started Party Queens.’
‘And became the most in-demand party-planners in Sydney,’ he said.
Sometimes it seemed to Eliza as if her brief marriage had never happened. But the wounds Craig had left behind him were still there. She’d been devastated at the doctor’s prognosis of infertility caused by damaged fallopian tubes. Craig had only thought about what it meant to him . Eliza had realised she couldn’t live with his mental abuse. But she still struggled with doubt and distrust when it came to men.
Thank heaven she’d had the sense to insist they signed a pre-nup. He’d had no claim on her pre-marriage apartment, and she’d emerged from the marriage financially unscathed.
‘I suppose your “dating after divorce” advice included getting a watertight pre-nup before any future nuptials?’ she said. ‘I’m here to suggest it’s a good idea. To add to all his faults, my ex proved to be an appalling money-manager.’
‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘That was all tied up with the gold-digger advice.’
Eliza laughed, but she was
Similar Books
