The Bug: Complete Season One by Barry J. Hutchison

the barrels of a fruit machine. “Feel hot. Like I’m burning. And itchy. So itchy.”
    “Look, up in the sky!” yelped a voice from along the aisle. Col turned to see his friend, Jaden, come whizzing towards them, riding on the back of a shopping cart, one arm raised like Superman in flight. “Is it a bird?” Jaden cried, as he drew closer. “Is it a plane? No it’s a grown man riding a shitty grocery store shopping ca— Fuck me, your lips are green.”
    Jaden jumped off the cart, leaving it to trundle to a halt somewhere by the tinned vegetables. Wayne dabbed at his mouth in panic. “What? They aren’t, are they?”
    “No,” said Col, reassuringly.
    Wayne seemed to deflate a little. “Thank God.”
    “I mean, you know. They’re green ish …”
    “Jesus,” whimpered Wayne. “What does that mean?”
    “You’re about to turn into the Incredible Hulk?” suggested Jaden. He tapped himself on the chest. “Jaden Wayne’s friend. Wayne no smash Jaden.”
    “Oh God,” yelped Wayne, clutching his stomach and doubling over. “I think I’m going to shit myself.”
    “I don’t remember him doing that in The Avengers ,” Jaden remarked.
    “I… I have to go home,” Wayne said. “I need to… I can’t… Jesus Christ, I’m burning up here. Can you lock up?”
    Jaden drew in a sharp breath. “Added responsibility. Does that move me up a pay grade? If so, what are the tax implications, because I’m not sure if—”
    “We can lock up,” Col said. Wayne thrust the keys into his hands before he had finished speaking. “Go. Get to bed,” Col told him. “I’ll drop the keys through your door on the way home.”
    They headed for the glass doors at the front of the shop. Wayne seemed to sink lower with every step. “A-any problems phone me.”
    Jaden raised a hand. “Question. Do they have to be work-related problems? Because there’s this girl who just moved in on my block, and—”
    Col’s glare silenced him. Wayne blinked, the lids scraping slowly across his eyeballs. “Wh-what?” he mumbled. Col slid a key into the door control and turned it.
    “Ignore him. He thinks he’s funny.” The door slid open. “You sure you’ll get home OK? We could call you a taxi.”
    Wayne shook his head. “Air,” he breathed, gulping the stuff down. “Need fresh air.” He stumbled out into the darkening evening and didn’t so much as glance back. Col turned the key and the door closed with a swish .
    The flashing blue lights of a police car briefly lit up their supervisor as he staggered out of the car park. “Dead by dawn, dead by dawn,” Jaden croaked. Col punched him on the arm, not too hard, but hard enough to shut him up.
    “He does look pretty sick. Hope we don’t catch it.” Col said. He turned from the window and slipped the bundle of keys into his pocket. “Suppose we should get back to work.”
    “Hush your mouth,” said Jaden. “It’s break time.”
    “We’re not due another break,” Col reminded him.
    Jaden picked up one of the cans of Gatorade and popped the ring-pull. He grinned. “We are now, bitch.”
    After just a moment’s hesitation, Col reached for a can, too. “You know there are cold ones in the refrigerator, right?” he said.
    “I like my Gatorade like I like my women,” Jaden said. “Tepid, and in a cylindrical metal container.”
    They headed for the checkouts and hopped up onto bagging areas across from each other. They sipped their lukewarm drinks and gazed out at the now mostly empty car park. The store had been closed for almost a full half-hour, but they still hadn’t gotten round to discussing the day’s tally.
    “So? How many?” asked Jaden.
    “Hundred and sixteen.”
    “Dammit,” Jaden spat. “Hundred and eight. I was fucking sure I had it.”
    “What can I say?” said Col. “I’m the master.”
    “You’re a fucking robot,” said Jaden. He jerked his arms around robotically. “Thank you for shopping wise at Shop Wise. Bzzzt. Thank you