they were assigning
parental units, he got the short stick?
I honestly don’t think he would have chosen me willingly.
All that aside, I was handed a baby and expected not to
ruin it.
I also couldn’t understand why they didn’t come with a
manual. A car, any electronic device, hell, even my toaster comes with a
fucking manual. Why couldn’t a child?
So there you are ... sweating
like a pro wrestler and staring down at this tiny child who drew the short stick
and hoping he couldn’t sense the fear. And then their eyes open and you see all
those fears slip away.
After all, they are new. There was plenty of time to
brainwash them into thinking you do know what you’re doing.
The next morning our families arrived. This was another
scenario where the result was not at all positive.
Five minutes after Alley and Spencer arrived with Lane,
Jameson and Spencer were arguing about a football game on the TV, Alley was
holding Axel and cooing non-stop to the point where it was actually annoying me
and Lane was being the cool little dude he was and making sure I had everything
I needed. That part was enjoyable.
“Do you need ice?” he asked ready to run to get it.
I looked at the full pitcher of ice and smiled at him.
“You know ... I think I could use a little
more buddy.”
He smiled and off he went to find more.
What was not enjoyable was the fact that I just wanted to
sleep, in my own bed. I had also started breastfeeding and Axel being just like
Jameson in every possible way, wanted to eat non-stop.
Shit went south when Emma showed up with a stuffed cougar
for Axel. Jameson kicked her out, which damn near caused a fistfight between
him and Aiden and then Spencer got involved in. All three of them had to be
escorted out by security.
Tommy, holding a bundle of flowers, stopped by as Jameson
chatted with security.
Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead and snuck a glance
at the baby in Alley’s arms.
“He sure is cute.”
“Thanks.” I smiled up at him adjusting my blankets. Tommy
was not seeing the foodbags.
“Here,” Alley offered. “hold him.”
I laughed a little when he nervously held his arms as
Alley handed Axel to him.
“We definitely know who the father is.” Tommy laughed
looking Axel’s loops of rusty locks.
“Yeah, there’s no denying that color.”
“You know,” he whispered when Alley began talking on her
cell phone. “I’m really happy for the two of you. I was beginning to think I
was going to need to knock some sense into you two.”
I smiled. It was funny to me that everyone around us saw
the changes occurring over the years between Jameson and me, but we ignored it.
An hour later, Jameson came back with ice cream and
chocolate.
Of course, I forgave him. He had chocolate. I also
thought the fight was somewhat entertaining.
It wasn’t long and I was feeling like I hadn’t gotten the
chance to snuggle with my son. It’d been a full twenty-four hours since he was
born and I think I’d gotten to hold him for maybe an hour. He’d been passed
around so much I thought for sure he’d have motion sickness.
Jimi and Nancy couldn’t believe how much Axel resembled
Jameson as an infant. He even had the same scowl when things didn’t go his way,
which happened a lot. I wanted to tell him, “If you think this sucks kid wait
until we take you home. At least there’s supervision here.”
When I finally did get to hold him, I spent hours
surveying him. I memorized every little detail about him from his rusty loops
of hair, his adorable chubby cheeks, his cute button nose, his long fingers and
the tiny little rolls on his legs. Everything about him was perfect and we
created him.
It was hard to believe that what started out as
complicated ended in this perfect little being.
For only being born at 34-weeks, he was incredibly
healthy, tiny , but healthy.
Aside from when he was delivered, we’d yet to hear him
cry. The nurses assured us everything was fine but it just
parental units, he got the short stick?
I honestly don’t think he would have chosen me willingly.
All that aside, I was handed a baby and expected not to
ruin it.
I also couldn’t understand why they didn’t come with a
manual. A car, any electronic device, hell, even my toaster comes with a
fucking manual. Why couldn’t a child?
So there you are ... sweating
like a pro wrestler and staring down at this tiny child who drew the short stick
and hoping he couldn’t sense the fear. And then their eyes open and you see all
those fears slip away.
After all, they are new. There was plenty of time to
brainwash them into thinking you do know what you’re doing.
The next morning our families arrived. This was another
scenario where the result was not at all positive.
Five minutes after Alley and Spencer arrived with Lane,
Jameson and Spencer were arguing about a football game on the TV, Alley was
holding Axel and cooing non-stop to the point where it was actually annoying me
and Lane was being the cool little dude he was and making sure I had everything
I needed. That part was enjoyable.
“Do you need ice?” he asked ready to run to get it.
I looked at the full pitcher of ice and smiled at him.
“You know ... I think I could use a little
more buddy.”
He smiled and off he went to find more.
What was not enjoyable was the fact that I just wanted to
sleep, in my own bed. I had also started breastfeeding and Axel being just like
Jameson in every possible way, wanted to eat non-stop.
Shit went south when Emma showed up with a stuffed cougar
for Axel. Jameson kicked her out, which damn near caused a fistfight between
him and Aiden and then Spencer got involved in. All three of them had to be
escorted out by security.
Tommy, holding a bundle of flowers, stopped by as Jameson
chatted with security.
Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead and snuck a glance
at the baby in Alley’s arms.
“He sure is cute.”
“Thanks.” I smiled up at him adjusting my blankets. Tommy
was not seeing the foodbags.
“Here,” Alley offered. “hold him.”
I laughed a little when he nervously held his arms as
Alley handed Axel to him.
“We definitely know who the father is.” Tommy laughed
looking Axel’s loops of rusty locks.
“Yeah, there’s no denying that color.”
“You know,” he whispered when Alley began talking on her
cell phone. “I’m really happy for the two of you. I was beginning to think I
was going to need to knock some sense into you two.”
I smiled. It was funny to me that everyone around us saw
the changes occurring over the years between Jameson and me, but we ignored it.
An hour later, Jameson came back with ice cream and
chocolate.
Of course, I forgave him. He had chocolate. I also
thought the fight was somewhat entertaining.
It wasn’t long and I was feeling like I hadn’t gotten the
chance to snuggle with my son. It’d been a full twenty-four hours since he was
born and I think I’d gotten to hold him for maybe an hour. He’d been passed
around so much I thought for sure he’d have motion sickness.
Jimi and Nancy couldn’t believe how much Axel resembled
Jameson as an infant. He even had the same scowl when things didn’t go his way,
which happened a lot. I wanted to tell him, “If you think this sucks kid wait
until we take you home. At least there’s supervision here.”
When I finally did get to hold him, I spent hours
surveying him. I memorized every little detail about him from his rusty loops
of hair, his adorable chubby cheeks, his cute button nose, his long fingers and
the tiny little rolls on his legs. Everything about him was perfect and we
created him.
It was hard to believe that what started out as
complicated ended in this perfect little being.
For only being born at 34-weeks, he was incredibly
healthy, tiny , but healthy.
Aside from when he was delivered, we’d yet to hear him
cry. The nurses assured us everything was fine but it just
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