clients. But I have so little business sense! You see, I don’t insist. We’ve known each other a long time.”
“. . .”
“Not at all, the pleasure’s all mine. Besides, I have no malice whatsoever, and I leave to a certain colleague the bit about hair falling out after you have a baby.”
“. . . ?”
“You don’t know that one? It’s simple. A client—I mean a woman—loses her hair at the temples and hairline after having a baby, it never fails, but it grows back six months later. What does my colleague do? He says, ‘You’re losing your hair here, and here, and here, too . . .’—‘Oh, my God!’ the lady says—‘Don’t worry,’ says the hairdresser, ‘we have a tonic water which . . . a tonic water that . . .’ Anyway, to make it short, three months later the lady sees her hair starting to grow back and sings long and hard the praises of the tonic which . . . the tonic that . . . Shall I wave you?”
“. . . ?”
“It’ll take fifteen minutes. You ask me that every time, I’m not blaming you. And every time I tell you, ‘It’ll only take fifteen minutes,’ like I’m supposed to for every operation that takes twenty-five minutes. Which dress are you wearing tonight?”
“. . . ?”
“Yes, yes, I know the one, the gold lamé on a midnight-blue background. People have already gotten a pretty good look at you in that one.”
“. . . !”
“Certainly not, I have no intention of offering you another one like it. Because even if my means permitted me such whims, my clientele wouldn’t allow it. Ah! . . . But we can give your blue dress a new look.”
“. . . ?”
“With a pretty wig in the same shade.”
“. . . !”
“Jump if it amuses you, but not too high, because I’m holding the hair on your neck. A pretty blue wig, I think. With two rows of little paste gems and a spray of paradise blue . . . Fine, fine, you’ll come around!”
“. . .”
“Maybe not you personally , but your best friend, your teatime acquaintances, your sister-in-law, your cousin, all the women to whom you say when talking about colored hair, ‘What a horror! If I ever see you with dead, apple-green hair on your head, I’ll never speak to you again!’ Well, they will wear it, they’re already wearing it, and you’re still speaking to them. So I, your hairdresser, giggle in my little corner.”
“. . .”
“No, that’s not why. It’s because I realize that I, as a hairdresser, a simple wigmaker , I nevertheless have more influence over your closest friends than you have over them yourself. I could die laughing. I’ll be done in just a second.”
“. . . !”
“Yes, I do, I think it’s lovely. Look, a wig in a beautiful violet or midnight blue, like I’m suggesting to you, is ravishing with your complexion. It’s flattering, it gives contour.”
“. . . ?”
“Do I know what contour is? Well, I know what it is. Contour is . . . um . . . there, like that . . . something indefinable . . . I understand what I mean!’
“. . . ?”
“I’m with you a little less on the white wig. Mostly young women, very young, have gone for that one, and older women who were dyeing their hair.”
“. . . ?”
“Because older women who had been dyeing their hair said to themselves, ‘The day I no longer want to dye my hair, I’ll want completely white hair, like a young woman!’”
“. . . ?”
“No, they went on dyeing it. The idea was enough for them. We’re done. A little brilliantine?”
“. . . ?”
“It gives luster. It gives an extraordinary luster . . . to the lining of hats. Ah! Give a brief glance in the shop before you go, I have a small selection of colored wigs like none you’ve ever seen before . . . What’s that, what did you say?”
“. . . !”
“No, you won’t see them in Paris. You know where you will? In Germany. Berlin ordered thirty of them from me at the same time.
“. . .”
“Not at all, the pleasure’s all mine. Besides, I have no malice whatsoever, and I leave to a certain colleague the bit about hair falling out after you have a baby.”
“. . . ?”
“You don’t know that one? It’s simple. A client—I mean a woman—loses her hair at the temples and hairline after having a baby, it never fails, but it grows back six months later. What does my colleague do? He says, ‘You’re losing your hair here, and here, and here, too . . .’—‘Oh, my God!’ the lady says—‘Don’t worry,’ says the hairdresser, ‘we have a tonic water which . . . a tonic water that . . .’ Anyway, to make it short, three months later the lady sees her hair starting to grow back and sings long and hard the praises of the tonic which . . . the tonic that . . . Shall I wave you?”
“. . . ?”
“It’ll take fifteen minutes. You ask me that every time, I’m not blaming you. And every time I tell you, ‘It’ll only take fifteen minutes,’ like I’m supposed to for every operation that takes twenty-five minutes. Which dress are you wearing tonight?”
“. . . ?”
“Yes, yes, I know the one, the gold lamé on a midnight-blue background. People have already gotten a pretty good look at you in that one.”
“. . . !”
“Certainly not, I have no intention of offering you another one like it. Because even if my means permitted me such whims, my clientele wouldn’t allow it. Ah! . . . But we can give your blue dress a new look.”
“. . . ?”
“With a pretty wig in the same shade.”
“. . . !”
“Jump if it amuses you, but not too high, because I’m holding the hair on your neck. A pretty blue wig, I think. With two rows of little paste gems and a spray of paradise blue . . . Fine, fine, you’ll come around!”
“. . .”
“Maybe not you personally , but your best friend, your teatime acquaintances, your sister-in-law, your cousin, all the women to whom you say when talking about colored hair, ‘What a horror! If I ever see you with dead, apple-green hair on your head, I’ll never speak to you again!’ Well, they will wear it, they’re already wearing it, and you’re still speaking to them. So I, your hairdresser, giggle in my little corner.”
“. . .”
“No, that’s not why. It’s because I realize that I, as a hairdresser, a simple wigmaker , I nevertheless have more influence over your closest friends than you have over them yourself. I could die laughing. I’ll be done in just a second.”
“. . . !”
“Yes, I do, I think it’s lovely. Look, a wig in a beautiful violet or midnight blue, like I’m suggesting to you, is ravishing with your complexion. It’s flattering, it gives contour.”
“. . . ?”
“Do I know what contour is? Well, I know what it is. Contour is . . . um . . . there, like that . . . something indefinable . . . I understand what I mean!’
“. . . ?”
“I’m with you a little less on the white wig. Mostly young women, very young, have gone for that one, and older women who were dyeing their hair.”
“. . . ?”
“Because older women who had been dyeing their hair said to themselves, ‘The day I no longer want to dye my hair, I’ll want completely white hair, like a young woman!’”
“. . . ?”
“No, they went on dyeing it. The idea was enough for them. We’re done. A little brilliantine?”
“. . . ?”
“It gives luster. It gives an extraordinary luster . . . to the lining of hats. Ah! Give a brief glance in the shop before you go, I have a small selection of colored wigs like none you’ve ever seen before . . . What’s that, what did you say?”
“. . . !”
“No, you won’t see them in Paris. You know where you will? In Germany. Berlin ordered thirty of them from me at the same time.
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