friends.
Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall for a little privacy . . . only to fall sixty-five feet to his death. “He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn’t,” said a Fort Lauderdale police spokesman. The car was idling on an overpass above the railroad lines.
His mother shared her thoughts. “Shawn didn’t do a whole lot for a living. He got along on his charm, just like his father.” Though his death was tragic, Shawn’s downfall proves the old adage: Look before you leak!
Reference: South Florida Sun Sentinel; The Miami Herald
Reader Comments
“Guess he was dying to go.”
“He shoulda peed in a bottle.”
“That’s why they call it Flori-duh.”
“Apparently it was just his time to go.”
“Now here’s a wee joke.”
“I wonder if he wet his pants from fright!”
At-Risk Survivor: Look Before You Leak
In a related story, a personal account, this time not fatal . . .
SUMMER 2003, USA | “I hired several laborers to prepare a garden area for me. They needed some supplies, so I showed them the location of ice water and the bathroom, and left to obtain the supplies. Upon my return, I found an ambulance in front of my home, along with two police cars. The police informed me that the neighbor had dialed 911 to report a naked man screaming and running around the yard.
My yard!
As it turned out, one of the laborers had needed to answer the call of nature. Rather than use the indoor bathroom, he went into the woods behind the house, dropped his trousers, and squatted down—right on top of a nest of hornets! He was released from the hospital about a week later, having learned a very painful and nearly fatal lesson: Always watch where you go!
“Watch where you are going—and look before you leak!”
Reference: Cy Stapleton
Darwin Award Winner: Short Circuit
Confirmed by Darwin
Featuring feces, a criminal, and electricity
MARCH 1989, SOUTH CAROLINA | Michael Anderson Godwin was a lucky murderer whose death sentence had been commuted to life in prison. Ironically he was sitting on the metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix the TV set when he bit down on a live wire—and electrocuted himself!
Ironie des Schicksals (Irony of Fate)
Reference: News of the Weird, Gizmodo.com
Reader Comments
“I suppose he ended up in the netherworld.”
“His last name predicted his fate: God wins.”
Darwin Award Winner: Muffled Explosion
Confirmed by Darwin
Featuring gonads, explosions, machismo, and a living Darwin!
10 JANUARY 2009, PENNSYLVANIA | An embarrassed and seriously injured seventeen-year-old initially claimed that an explosive had been planted in his backpack by persons unknown. However, police investigators soon extracted the truth. He had found an M-80 explosive at his grand-mother’s house, taken it to his room to “examine” it, and began to repeatedly light and extinguish the fuse.
Commonly thought to be a quarter stick of dynamite, M-80s (according to pyrouniverse.com ) actually contain 1/50 the amount of explosive (3 grams) and use flash powder rather than TNT. Used by the U.S. military to simulate grenade explosions, M-80s were outlawed in 1966 under the Child Protection Act. They are not safe enough to be detonated by the average man on the average street, let alone by an average seventeen-year-old in an average bedroom.
During one of these cycles the fuse would notgo out, so he jammed the red cardboard tube between his thighs and covered it with his hand to muffle the explosion. This plan was less successful than he had hoped.
One loud KABOOM! later, our junior pyrotechnics specialist had lost his right hand and right leg. It is not known whether the injury also affected his ability to reproduce, but if it had, the fellow would be eligible to compete for the honor of a living Darwin Award.
Reference: WPXI News;
Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall for a little privacy . . . only to fall sixty-five feet to his death. “He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn’t,” said a Fort Lauderdale police spokesman. The car was idling on an overpass above the railroad lines.
His mother shared her thoughts. “Shawn didn’t do a whole lot for a living. He got along on his charm, just like his father.” Though his death was tragic, Shawn’s downfall proves the old adage: Look before you leak!
Reference: South Florida Sun Sentinel; The Miami Herald
Reader Comments
“Guess he was dying to go.”
“He shoulda peed in a bottle.”
“That’s why they call it Flori-duh.”
“Apparently it was just his time to go.”
“Now here’s a wee joke.”
“I wonder if he wet his pants from fright!”
At-Risk Survivor: Look Before You Leak
In a related story, a personal account, this time not fatal . . .
SUMMER 2003, USA | “I hired several laborers to prepare a garden area for me. They needed some supplies, so I showed them the location of ice water and the bathroom, and left to obtain the supplies. Upon my return, I found an ambulance in front of my home, along with two police cars. The police informed me that the neighbor had dialed 911 to report a naked man screaming and running around the yard.
My yard!
As it turned out, one of the laborers had needed to answer the call of nature. Rather than use the indoor bathroom, he went into the woods behind the house, dropped his trousers, and squatted down—right on top of a nest of hornets! He was released from the hospital about a week later, having learned a very painful and nearly fatal lesson: Always watch where you go!
“Watch where you are going—and look before you leak!”
Reference: Cy Stapleton
Darwin Award Winner: Short Circuit
Confirmed by Darwin
Featuring feces, a criminal, and electricity
MARCH 1989, SOUTH CAROLINA | Michael Anderson Godwin was a lucky murderer whose death sentence had been commuted to life in prison. Ironically he was sitting on the metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix the TV set when he bit down on a live wire—and electrocuted himself!
Ironie des Schicksals (Irony of Fate)
Reference: News of the Weird, Gizmodo.com
Reader Comments
“I suppose he ended up in the netherworld.”
“His last name predicted his fate: God wins.”
Darwin Award Winner: Muffled Explosion
Confirmed by Darwin
Featuring gonads, explosions, machismo, and a living Darwin!
10 JANUARY 2009, PENNSYLVANIA | An embarrassed and seriously injured seventeen-year-old initially claimed that an explosive had been planted in his backpack by persons unknown. However, police investigators soon extracted the truth. He had found an M-80 explosive at his grand-mother’s house, taken it to his room to “examine” it, and began to repeatedly light and extinguish the fuse.
Commonly thought to be a quarter stick of dynamite, M-80s (according to pyrouniverse.com ) actually contain 1/50 the amount of explosive (3 grams) and use flash powder rather than TNT. Used by the U.S. military to simulate grenade explosions, M-80s were outlawed in 1966 under the Child Protection Act. They are not safe enough to be detonated by the average man on the average street, let alone by an average seventeen-year-old in an average bedroom.
During one of these cycles the fuse would notgo out, so he jammed the red cardboard tube between his thighs and covered it with his hand to muffle the explosion. This plan was less successful than he had hoped.
One loud KABOOM! later, our junior pyrotechnics specialist had lost his right hand and right leg. It is not known whether the injury also affected his ability to reproduce, but if it had, the fellow would be eligible to compete for the honor of a living Darwin Award.
Reference: WPXI News;
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