Ainsley said, and for the first time he sounded as determined as his father. ‘I don’t care what you think of me. Do you understand? All I care about is that you help me to help my children.’
‘What the devil do you mean?’
Ainsley searched for words. ‘Rose has always felt that they’ll need the protection of the family if they’re to get along in life. I’ve always felt that it would be pointless to make any kind of approach. Then I saw your name in the lists. It made me think again. I realized that Rose is right.’ He paused. ‘This campaign should be over in, what, a matter of weeks? When it is, I intend to resign my commission and take my family back to Jamaica.’
Cameron stared at him in disbelief. ‘You can’t mean that.’
‘It’s our home, Cameron. It’s where we belong.’
‘But—’
‘Oh, you needn’t worry, I shall be discreet. I shan’t live openly with Rose. I shall establish her somewhere far away from Fever Hill – near Kingston perhaps. As far as Society is concerned, I shall simply be returning to Jamaica after some years of . . . “delicate health”. Isn’t that what Father gave out? That I’d gone to some sanatorium on the continent for my health?’ He gave a wry smile. ‘So you see, there won’t be any sort of scandal. One can get away with almost anything as long as one doesn’t do it openly. That was always our mistake.’
They began their descent down the bluff, and the horses jostled for position on the narrow track. Cameron said, ‘You seem to have everything worked out. Why bother to tell me?’
‘Because I need you to tell my father.’
‘ What? ’
‘He returns all my letters unopened. Just like you. He doesn’t even know he’s a grandfather.’ He paused. ‘I’d rather not have him learn of my return in the Daily Gleaner .’
Down in the zeriba the next detail was waiting to relieve them. Cameron watched the red men stalking the red earth in the red light. He felt as if he were trapped in a nightmare.
He wanted to grab Ainsley by the throat and shake him till he saw sense. Couldn’t he see that his plan was impossible? Had he no idea what things had been like after he left? Having to watch poor, soft, obedient Clemency cradling her dead baby in her arms, and failing utterly to comprehend the ruin of her life. Proud old Jocelyn humbling himself to buy the silence of her upstart brother. The odious May taking control with unspeakable relish.
He remembered that beautiful little girl in the snow at Strathnaw. Why had Clemency’s child died, while the bastard had thrived?
There is no justice, he thought. The wages of sin are a successful army career, a comfortable house in Scotland, and a blossoming mistress and child.
They were nearing the zeriba, and men were coming forward to take the horses. ‘We must be civilized about this,’ said Ainsley. ‘I need you to help me. And by God you shall—’
‘ Enough ’, said Cameron. ‘I’ve heard enough.’ He dismounted and tossed his reins to his man and walked away.
‘Cameron, come back. Come back! Damnit, man, that’s an order!’
‘Go to the devil,’ said Cameron.
Chapter Five
Dr Baines never came back to Cairngowrie House. Perhaps he forgot. Perhaps he fell ill. Whatever the reason, the days passed and the snow kept falling, and nobody came.
Madeleine didn’t greatly mind. She didn’t mind about anything, for she was safe inside her shell. Her smooth, shiny, unbreakable Easter-egg shell, which allowed her to see and hear and smell and taste, but only in a muffled sort of way, as if she were under water.
She didn’t like the baby any more than when it had first arrived, but it had proved impossible to ignore. It gazed at her with eyes as dark and deep as a seal’s, and when she left the room its outraged howls followed her through the house.
From Dr Philpott she had learned how to look after it. She classified the tasks as easy (bathing) down to most horrible (cleaning up the
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