body. This was her fault! It was all coming back with stark clarity.
A dish sat in the center of the bench, along with a hairbrush and my two silver, double-eternity earrings. Reaching out, I lifted my familiar brush and turned it back and forth. A frown grew on my face, and then I picked up the earrings. With them tight in my fist and my brush brandished like a weapon, I stomped up the stairs, only to remember it was the middle of the night and there was nobody to rant and rave to. There was no one here who cared, or would even understand.
No one. Not even Brecken.
I was completely alone.
Plopping down on the living room couch, I sighed in defeat. Who could I turn to? Pouring my heart out to anyone who could hear me, I let my tears fall, but my prayer seemed to bounce off the ceiling. Then I remembered Adam. Maybe he’d hear me. I pictured his understanding face and his kind eyes as I concentrated. A few moments passed, and I was sure I was being ignored as far as divine help was concerned, but then I felt someone sitting next to me on the couch. I glanced over, knowing who was there.
“Adam!”
“Shhh,” he whispered, holding a finger to his lips. “You don’t want to wake the family.” With a tired smile, he squeezed my hand. “How are you holding up, my dear?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. Nothing feels right. It’s never been like this before.” I gazed steadily into his eyes, certain he’d understand.
He nodded, and I wanted to throw my arms around him to thank him for being so kind and patient with me. I was high maintenance. I always had been, so I hesitated, holding back, not daring to be rejected. I’d had enough of that lately.
“I know it’s hard, Alisa, and we’re under transition right now in Idir Shaol. Communication is ridiculous.” He laughed and shook his head. “Even those higher up are frustrated, but the channels will be repaired soon.”
“Repaired? Are they broken?” I couldn’t even comprehend such a thing. Never before had I felt unheard. Maybe ignored, yeah, but not abandoned
“Oh… no,” he said. “But you know how it is. Everyone is busy working. Ancestors do the brunt of the guardian work, but sometimes, petitions and prayers get lost in the shuffle.” He gave a nervous chuckle, and I studied him closer. Lines of worry creased his eyes, and his lips seemed tighter than before. He was worried about something. Something he wouldn’t tell me. It made me worry too.
Like a light switch being flipped on, his expression altered from concern to serenity. “Tell me, how are you doing? You did call. Is there a problem of a more personal nature?”
With a sigh, I tried to figure out where to begin. “Something just doesn’t feel right. I’m not sure what it is, but it seems like… well, like I shouldn’t be in someone else’s body. First of all, I don’t like it. And second, it’s wrong to take over someone else’s life. Also, I went to see Brecken, and he doesn’t remember who I am anymore!” I grasped Adam’s hand, hoping to convey my frustration. I thought he got it, considering how tight I was squeezing.
“I know. I’m really sorry about that. The higher-ups did not think it was wise for you to continue in that relationship after all.” He smiled sweetly and shook his head in apology. “You have important work to do, Alisa, and you need to focus. It’s all going to be fine. You are doing everything you’re supposed to. When we’re done with the trial run of our new program, I’m sure Bretariel will have his memories given back.”
I was devastated by this news. I couldn’t believe they would take him away from me. Especially since this might be my only chance to be with him for a while. I felt stabbed through the heart and betrayed. How could they do this? “But, who…?”
“Shh.” He tried to silence me with a pat on the shoulder.
“But why?”
With a nervous chuckle, he stood, outwardly uncomfortable with my heightened emotional
A dish sat in the center of the bench, along with a hairbrush and my two silver, double-eternity earrings. Reaching out, I lifted my familiar brush and turned it back and forth. A frown grew on my face, and then I picked up the earrings. With them tight in my fist and my brush brandished like a weapon, I stomped up the stairs, only to remember it was the middle of the night and there was nobody to rant and rave to. There was no one here who cared, or would even understand.
No one. Not even Brecken.
I was completely alone.
Plopping down on the living room couch, I sighed in defeat. Who could I turn to? Pouring my heart out to anyone who could hear me, I let my tears fall, but my prayer seemed to bounce off the ceiling. Then I remembered Adam. Maybe he’d hear me. I pictured his understanding face and his kind eyes as I concentrated. A few moments passed, and I was sure I was being ignored as far as divine help was concerned, but then I felt someone sitting next to me on the couch. I glanced over, knowing who was there.
“Adam!”
“Shhh,” he whispered, holding a finger to his lips. “You don’t want to wake the family.” With a tired smile, he squeezed my hand. “How are you holding up, my dear?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. Nothing feels right. It’s never been like this before.” I gazed steadily into his eyes, certain he’d understand.
He nodded, and I wanted to throw my arms around him to thank him for being so kind and patient with me. I was high maintenance. I always had been, so I hesitated, holding back, not daring to be rejected. I’d had enough of that lately.
“I know it’s hard, Alisa, and we’re under transition right now in Idir Shaol. Communication is ridiculous.” He laughed and shook his head. “Even those higher up are frustrated, but the channels will be repaired soon.”
“Repaired? Are they broken?” I couldn’t even comprehend such a thing. Never before had I felt unheard. Maybe ignored, yeah, but not abandoned
“Oh… no,” he said. “But you know how it is. Everyone is busy working. Ancestors do the brunt of the guardian work, but sometimes, petitions and prayers get lost in the shuffle.” He gave a nervous chuckle, and I studied him closer. Lines of worry creased his eyes, and his lips seemed tighter than before. He was worried about something. Something he wouldn’t tell me. It made me worry too.
Like a light switch being flipped on, his expression altered from concern to serenity. “Tell me, how are you doing? You did call. Is there a problem of a more personal nature?”
With a sigh, I tried to figure out where to begin. “Something just doesn’t feel right. I’m not sure what it is, but it seems like… well, like I shouldn’t be in someone else’s body. First of all, I don’t like it. And second, it’s wrong to take over someone else’s life. Also, I went to see Brecken, and he doesn’t remember who I am anymore!” I grasped Adam’s hand, hoping to convey my frustration. I thought he got it, considering how tight I was squeezing.
“I know. I’m really sorry about that. The higher-ups did not think it was wise for you to continue in that relationship after all.” He smiled sweetly and shook his head in apology. “You have important work to do, Alisa, and you need to focus. It’s all going to be fine. You are doing everything you’re supposed to. When we’re done with the trial run of our new program, I’m sure Bretariel will have his memories given back.”
I was devastated by this news. I couldn’t believe they would take him away from me. Especially since this might be my only chance to be with him for a while. I felt stabbed through the heart and betrayed. How could they do this? “But, who…?”
“Shh.” He tried to silence me with a pat on the shoulder.
“But why?”
With a nervous chuckle, he stood, outwardly uncomfortable with my heightened emotional
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