but Simone
could never manage that, so to give her a boost Roxanne made a stirrup of her laced fingers and, as Merell clapped and cheered
and the twins and Franny came running, Simone put her foot into her sister’s hands.
“Up you go!” Roxanne said. “Now swing your leg over…. That’s my girl.”
And there she was, astride the branch, stunned and shaking, looking down on the tops of the twins’ heads.
Merell called down from her perch eight feet above. “Grab hold and stand up. It’s easy, Mommy.”
Easy.
As much as she wanted to try, she wanted to be back on the ground; and while she thought about how it would feel to grab the
branch and stand, she was thinking at the same time of what it would be like to fall, no waterto soften the landing. She reached overhead. The rough pepper bark scratched her palms.
Just take a breath and pull yourself. Just do it, don’t think and whatever happens—
Valli clapped her hands.
“Higher and higher and higher,” Victoria demanded.
Merell cried, “Come up to me, Mommy.”
“Mommy can’t talk,” Valli said.
“Mommy’s crying.”
Chapter 5
W hen Roxanne got home Ty was on the deck staring out over the canyon. Down in Mission Valley there was gridlock on Interstate
8, an emergency vehicle and two cop cars on the shoulder, their lights flashing. The air was still and hot and smelled of
eucalyptus.
“I’d about given up on you.”
“We have to talk.”
He looked at his watch. “We can talk on the plane.”
“There’s time.”
“Not if you want to get a hamburger.”
“I’m not hungry, Ty. Can we sit down?”
He paused for a long moment, not taking his eyes off her; and though she wanted to hold his gaze, she couldn’t. Across the
canyon someone was playing a complicated set of piano scales, the pattern of notes repeating again and again in endless variation.
She looked down at the litter of bougainvillea bracts scattered across the deck like faded gold coins.
“I should sweep these up before we go,” she said.
“Just tell me what happened at Simone’s. That’s why you went over there. What did she say?”
“Same as the radio but I don’t believe her.”
She thought of Shawn Hutton and the other boys in Simone’s life and remembered what Simone had said about Johnny.
It’s not that hard to fool a man who wants to be fooled.
The same could be said of an older sister.
She forced herself to look at Ty, owing him that much at least. “I can’t just fly away as if it doesn’t matter.”
She saw his expression harden like a flexed muscle.
“I want you there with me, Roxanne.”
“And I want to go. But the state I’m in? I’d be no good to you.” Drops of sweat popped out across the back of her neck. “I’d
be a distraction. You’re better—”
“Bullshit.”
“Don’t walk away from me, Ty.” She followed him into the house. “Look at this from my point of view.”
“Oh, I have. Believe me, I’ve examined your point of view from all angles.”
“You can’t expect me to ignore Simone. She’s vulnerable—”
“When I get the job—
if
I get it—what’ll you do then? Chicago’s two thousand miles from your vulnerable little sister.”
“Tyrone, I will move with you to Chicago.” She spoke to him as if he were a student who needed a lessonrepeated one time too many. “I told you I would and I meant it.”
“Thanks for the sacrifice, Roxanne.”
She heard the sarcasm that was so unlike him and the vibrations of a long, minor chord echoed through her like a warning.
She dropped onto the couch.
“I love you, I love her.” Ty could take care of himself but Simone could not. “I thought you understood.”
“Haven’t you heard, Roxy? Understanding’s the booby prize.” He sat on the hassock opposite her. “I knew when we married that
this thing with Simone would be a struggle, but I underestimated how it would make me feel.” He stared down at the square
of carpet defined by
could never manage that, so to give her a boost Roxanne made a stirrup of her laced fingers and, as Merell clapped and cheered
and the twins and Franny came running, Simone put her foot into her sister’s hands.
“Up you go!” Roxanne said. “Now swing your leg over…. That’s my girl.”
And there she was, astride the branch, stunned and shaking, looking down on the tops of the twins’ heads.
Merell called down from her perch eight feet above. “Grab hold and stand up. It’s easy, Mommy.”
Easy.
As much as she wanted to try, she wanted to be back on the ground; and while she thought about how it would feel to grab the
branch and stand, she was thinking at the same time of what it would be like to fall, no waterto soften the landing. She reached overhead. The rough pepper bark scratched her palms.
Just take a breath and pull yourself. Just do it, don’t think and whatever happens—
Valli clapped her hands.
“Higher and higher and higher,” Victoria demanded.
Merell cried, “Come up to me, Mommy.”
“Mommy can’t talk,” Valli said.
“Mommy’s crying.”
Chapter 5
W hen Roxanne got home Ty was on the deck staring out over the canyon. Down in Mission Valley there was gridlock on Interstate
8, an emergency vehicle and two cop cars on the shoulder, their lights flashing. The air was still and hot and smelled of
eucalyptus.
“I’d about given up on you.”
“We have to talk.”
He looked at his watch. “We can talk on the plane.”
“There’s time.”
“Not if you want to get a hamburger.”
“I’m not hungry, Ty. Can we sit down?”
He paused for a long moment, not taking his eyes off her; and though she wanted to hold his gaze, she couldn’t. Across the
canyon someone was playing a complicated set of piano scales, the pattern of notes repeating again and again in endless variation.
She looked down at the litter of bougainvillea bracts scattered across the deck like faded gold coins.
“I should sweep these up before we go,” she said.
“Just tell me what happened at Simone’s. That’s why you went over there. What did she say?”
“Same as the radio but I don’t believe her.”
She thought of Shawn Hutton and the other boys in Simone’s life and remembered what Simone had said about Johnny.
It’s not that hard to fool a man who wants to be fooled.
The same could be said of an older sister.
She forced herself to look at Ty, owing him that much at least. “I can’t just fly away as if it doesn’t matter.”
She saw his expression harden like a flexed muscle.
“I want you there with me, Roxanne.”
“And I want to go. But the state I’m in? I’d be no good to you.” Drops of sweat popped out across the back of her neck. “I’d
be a distraction. You’re better—”
“Bullshit.”
“Don’t walk away from me, Ty.” She followed him into the house. “Look at this from my point of view.”
“Oh, I have. Believe me, I’ve examined your point of view from all angles.”
“You can’t expect me to ignore Simone. She’s vulnerable—”
“When I get the job—
if
I get it—what’ll you do then? Chicago’s two thousand miles from your vulnerable little sister.”
“Tyrone, I will move with you to Chicago.” She spoke to him as if he were a student who needed a lessonrepeated one time too many. “I told you I would and I meant it.”
“Thanks for the sacrifice, Roxanne.”
She heard the sarcasm that was so unlike him and the vibrations of a long, minor chord echoed through her like a warning.
She dropped onto the couch.
“I love you, I love her.” Ty could take care of himself but Simone could not. “I thought you understood.”
“Haven’t you heard, Roxy? Understanding’s the booby prize.” He sat on the hassock opposite her. “I knew when we married that
this thing with Simone would be a struggle, but I underestimated how it would make me feel.” He stared down at the square
of carpet defined by
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