The Good, the Bad and the Unready

The Good, the Bad and the Unready by Robert Easton Page A

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destroyed fortifications every night. However, on the night of 22 May there was an eclipse of the moon. The Byzantines had credited their success in repulsing the Turks to the legend that Constantinople would never fall while the moon was waxing – that is, with its ‘horns’ to the east. But with the eclipse, their morale was instantly and utterly crushed. During the next few days someone, in his or her despondency, left a gate in the stockade open. It was only a small gate, but all that Mehmed needed. The sack of Constantinople lasted three days, and from that moment onwards Mehmed was hailed as ‘the Conqueror’.
    After Constantinople Mehmed continued his military conquests. Among the territories to fall under Ottoman control were Serbia, Greece and Wallachia, where Vlad the IMPALER finally met his match. In 1481 Mehmed was embarking on new campaigns against Rhodes and southern Italy when he suddenly died – some say poisoned by an undercover Venetian doctor, others say from a self-administered overdose of opium. Not everyone mourned his passing. On news of the death of ‘the Conqueror’, the pope ordered that every church bell should be rung in jubilation for three days and nights.
      William the Conqueror
    William I, king of England, c.1028–87
    In his day William was known as ‘the Bastard’ since he was the illegitimate son of ‘Robert the Devil’ (the duke of Normandy) and the daughter of a local tanner. ‘Conqueror’, however, would have been an apt contemporary soubriquet as well, as long before the Norman had turned his ambitious gaze over the English Channel he had orchestrated a string of military victories that significantly enhanced his power in France.
    His conquest of England was no fait accompli. Under the command of Harold the LAST OF THE SAXONS the English forces were one of the most aggressive armies of Europe; however it was Harold’s bad luck that within weeks of his success at the battle of Stamford Bridge his men had to face the Norman forces at Hastings. After William’s famous victory of 1066 he worked hard to ensure there were children to inherit his new territories. To that end William (who stood five foot ten) and his wife Matilda (who was no more than four foot two inches tall) produced ten children, including two future kings, William RUFUS and Henry BEAUCLERC (see NOBLE PROFESSIONS ).
    Copper Nose see NOSE ALMIGHTY
    Napoleon the Corsican General See Napoleon the LITTLE CORPORAL
    Richard the Coxcomb
    Richard II, king of England, 1367–1400
    In 1394 Anne of Bohemia, Richard’s first wife, succumbed to the Black Death, and such was his grief that he ordered the palace at Sheen, where she had spent her last days, to be razed. The tragic event turned out to be a critical moment in Richard’s life and reign. The popular king and loving husband descended intomelancholy and became a despotic, arrogant fop, whose disastrous second marriage to Isabella, the young daughter of Charles the SILLY , was marked by wanton cruelty.
    If for no other reason, however, this son of Edward the BLACK PRINCE and Joan the FAIR MAID OF KENT should be celebrated in history as the inventor of the handkerchief – the must-have accessory for any self-respecting coxcomb. It may have found much service when, having been ousted by the forces of his cousin Henry BOLINGBROKE , Richard spent his last days starving to death in Pontefract Castle.
    Richard Crookback
    Richard III, king of England, 1452–85
    William Shakespeare is largely responsible for the popular image of Richard as a limping hunchback with a withered arm. The playwright’s sources for Richard III may well have included Thomas More’s biography of the king, which depicted Richard some decades after his death as ‘little of stature, ill-featured of limbs, crook-backed… envious and, afore his birth, ever froward’. Contemporary chroniclers, however, such as Philip de Commynes and the Italian monk Dominic Mancini make no mention of any

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