armpit and slapped down another serving.
Lastly, and quite possibly the most horrendous of all the dishes, was a circular fillet of python in what Gummy Grumbleguts identified as tartare sauce. Some of the scales were still attached and stuck between the children’s teeth as they ate,for eat they must as it was the sensible thing to do under the circumstances. Who knew what strength they might need to deal with tomorrow’s challenges? Gruesome as the meals appeared, everyone agreed that starvation was far worse a prospect.
Their only beverage was a frothy protein-enriched drink called Yolk Wine, which combined egg yolk with the juice of muscat grapes.
When the repulsive repast came to an end, Oslo immediately ordered the troops to bed. Ernest begged for some toothpicks from the kitchen ladies, as the idea of going to sleep without flossing was absolutely abhorrent to him. The barracks were as cold as igloos when the children returned to them. They gathered their blankets and mattresses and decided to huddle together on the floor to keep warm. Finn and Fennel curled up together like two little peas in a pod. So chilly was the night that Ernest, much to his horror, found himself snuggling up to Gummy Grumbleguts. Gummy had much the same effect as sitting on a radiator, his body gave offso much heat. He wrapped an arm comfortingly around Ernest.
There on the floor of the barracks, the children lay and waited for morning. Sleep was fitful and many remained awake well after midnight. But the human mind, as we know, is a complex organism. There are only so many hours it will allow you to contemplate the unfathomable before switching off like a mobile phone when the battery has run low. When this happens, there is not much you can do about it. Eventually, the children stopped both thinking and crying and fell into an exhausted sleep.
CHAPTER SIX
A Soldier’s Life
M illi woke to a snuffling in her hair and something like a moist sponge nudging her cheek. She opened one eye to see the face of a large Alsatian looking down at her. In her state of semi-wakefulness Milli mistook the dog for Stench, rolled over and tried to get back to sleep. But the dog whipped her blanket off, pawing and barking at her until she had no choice but to get up.
She looked around to see other dogs bounding on beds and shaking the rest of the children awake. It wasn’t long before they had roused the whole barracks. When everybodyhad struggled to their feet, the deadpan voice crackled through the speaker again.
‘Rise and shine! It is currently one minute past five and just after Question Time. All new recruits are to report immediately to the mess hall. I repeat, all recruits to the mess hall immediately.’
A ghastly serving of Kransky sausages and watery gruel awaited them at breakfast. For those of you who do not know, Kranskies are a type of Russian sausage the width of a baseball bat and dotted with lumps of fat the size of golf balls. Kranskies are stodgy food at the best of times, let alone first thing in the morning. When the children emerged from the mess hall after picking at their breakfast, a fired-up Oslo was waiting for them on horseback.
‘Today’s program,’ he began, projecting his voice as if the children were miles away instead of standing right in front of him, ‘will start with a morning drill. Camp duties will follow and I have put a rostrum up in the hall.’
‘What’s a rostrum?’ Milli muttered under her breath.
‘He means roster,’ Ernest said.
Oslo looked down at his palm a few times while speaking, and some of the more alert children saw he had jotted down key points he wanted to make in case they slipped his mind. Oslo’s speech was made funnier by his emphatic pause each time he used a word intended to impress.
‘You have been aligned [assigned]…teams that will be responsible for the upheave [upkeep]…of different areas. Kitchen staff will issue you with sandy [sundry]…cleaning equipment. At
Lastly, and quite possibly the most horrendous of all the dishes, was a circular fillet of python in what Gummy Grumbleguts identified as tartare sauce. Some of the scales were still attached and stuck between the children’s teeth as they ate,for eat they must as it was the sensible thing to do under the circumstances. Who knew what strength they might need to deal with tomorrow’s challenges? Gruesome as the meals appeared, everyone agreed that starvation was far worse a prospect.
Their only beverage was a frothy protein-enriched drink called Yolk Wine, which combined egg yolk with the juice of muscat grapes.
When the repulsive repast came to an end, Oslo immediately ordered the troops to bed. Ernest begged for some toothpicks from the kitchen ladies, as the idea of going to sleep without flossing was absolutely abhorrent to him. The barracks were as cold as igloos when the children returned to them. They gathered their blankets and mattresses and decided to huddle together on the floor to keep warm. Finn and Fennel curled up together like two little peas in a pod. So chilly was the night that Ernest, much to his horror, found himself snuggling up to Gummy Grumbleguts. Gummy had much the same effect as sitting on a radiator, his body gave offso much heat. He wrapped an arm comfortingly around Ernest.
There on the floor of the barracks, the children lay and waited for morning. Sleep was fitful and many remained awake well after midnight. But the human mind, as we know, is a complex organism. There are only so many hours it will allow you to contemplate the unfathomable before switching off like a mobile phone when the battery has run low. When this happens, there is not much you can do about it. Eventually, the children stopped both thinking and crying and fell into an exhausted sleep.
CHAPTER SIX
A Soldier’s Life
M illi woke to a snuffling in her hair and something like a moist sponge nudging her cheek. She opened one eye to see the face of a large Alsatian looking down at her. In her state of semi-wakefulness Milli mistook the dog for Stench, rolled over and tried to get back to sleep. But the dog whipped her blanket off, pawing and barking at her until she had no choice but to get up.
She looked around to see other dogs bounding on beds and shaking the rest of the children awake. It wasn’t long before they had roused the whole barracks. When everybodyhad struggled to their feet, the deadpan voice crackled through the speaker again.
‘Rise and shine! It is currently one minute past five and just after Question Time. All new recruits are to report immediately to the mess hall. I repeat, all recruits to the mess hall immediately.’
A ghastly serving of Kransky sausages and watery gruel awaited them at breakfast. For those of you who do not know, Kranskies are a type of Russian sausage the width of a baseball bat and dotted with lumps of fat the size of golf balls. Kranskies are stodgy food at the best of times, let alone first thing in the morning. When the children emerged from the mess hall after picking at their breakfast, a fired-up Oslo was waiting for them on horseback.
‘Today’s program,’ he began, projecting his voice as if the children were miles away instead of standing right in front of him, ‘will start with a morning drill. Camp duties will follow and I have put a rostrum up in the hall.’
‘What’s a rostrum?’ Milli muttered under her breath.
‘He means roster,’ Ernest said.
Oslo looked down at his palm a few times while speaking, and some of the more alert children saw he had jotted down key points he wanted to make in case they slipped his mind. Oslo’s speech was made funnier by his emphatic pause each time he used a word intended to impress.
‘You have been aligned [assigned]…teams that will be responsible for the upheave [upkeep]…of different areas. Kitchen staff will issue you with sandy [sundry]…cleaning equipment. At
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