The McGillicuddy Book of Personal Records by Colleen Sydor

thought he’d skipped school today if it was to be with some other flesh-and-blood kids. It’d make a nice change from hangin’ with his dead buddies all the time.”
    Joe furrowed his brows at Gertrude. “Come again?”
    Gertrude smiled. “Don’t worry. It’s just that he’s constantly memorizing quotes from people long dead and gone.” Gertrude took a slug of swamp water, leaving a red lipstick kiss on the rim of her glass. “Mind, I suppose he does come up with some wise sayings, but it’s unnatural for a kid his age, you ask me.”
    â€œDoes Lee have any other hobbies to keep himself occupied?” asked Joe.
    â€œThat’s the problem,” she sighed.
    CUT TO UNIVERSITY OF MANITOBA CAMPUS
9:18 AM
    ZOOM IN ON FIGURE OF BOY AND DOG WALKING
    Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you.
    You have to win it.
    â€“ Ralph Waldo Emerson
    Lee looked around the campus at the hustle and bustle of hardworking (judging by the stacks of books they were lugging) summer students rushing from building to building. Made him think he could easily take up people-watching as a hobby. They were different in so many ways from one another, yet they all had that student look on their faces. They seemed to have a purpose, and to know exactly what it was, and for that reason, it was more than a little bizarre that he felt as if he fit in perfectly. But purpose was seeping from his very pores this morning.
    Lee untied the margarine container from his belt, put it on the ground, and filled it with water from one of his bottles.
    â€œHave a good long drink,” he said to Santiago. “You’re in for a workout.” Lee took a swig from the bottle himself, put it back in one pocket, and pulled his cap gun from the other. They were standing outside the Max Bell Sports Center at the very spot where thousands of runners had only yesterday crammed in at the starting line of the Manitoba Marathon. Lee was a day late, and he’d be walking the course instead of running, but right now that mattered little to Lee. When Santiago was finished drinking, Lee tied the margarine container back onto his belt. He set his digital watch, raised the cap gun / starting pistol above his head, and looked down at his dog. “Ready, girl?”
    CUT BACK TO JOE’S BAR
    ZOOM IN ON GERTRUDE’S FINGERS CRACKING PEANUTS
    â€œThing is, the kid’s nuts about setting his own records,” said Gertrude to Joe. “Obsessive, almost. When he was eight, he saved his allowance for months so he could buy enough dominoes to set up the length of a full city block.”
    â€œDominoes?”
    â€œ You know,” said Gertrude, “the way they line ’em up and then set the whole thing in motion with a nudge.”
    â€œA full city block,” whistled Joe. “That must have been impressive.”
    â€œNot really,” said Gertrude. “He’d get just so far before a chipmunk or a neighborhood cat would come along and knock a domino over, and then, well, you know. He must have started over fifteen times before he finally gave up and moved the whole shebang into the house. I was tiptoeing for days.”
    â€œSounds like a kid with determination,” said Joe, “and that’s a good thing, don’t you think, Gertie?”
    â€œDetermination and patience he has by the truckload,” said Gertrude, “but it seems to me he could get more bang for his buck if he’d invest it in something a little more important than dominoes. Ah, shoot,” sighed Gertrude.
    CUT TO UNIVERSITY CAMPUS
    CATCH SUN GLINTING OFF BARREL OF CAP GUN
    ROLL SOUND
    BANG! Lee’s cap gun fired, and an insanely startled Santiago took off faster than a bullet. Even though Lee intended to walk the marathon, he was forced to run the first fifty meters. “Hold your horses, Santi,” he panted, afraid the