enough to want to be able to stand on my own two feet."
"Ego has nothing to do with it. And Otis can help you achieve what you want. It has to be better than what you've been going through. I just don't understand why you won't at least give it a try."
"I don't need him. It would be a waste of both his time and yours. This next transplant is going to work."
Lyssa clamped her teeth down on her bottom lip, her own frustration getting the better of her.
"I hope it does, Cody. I really do. The advances in eye surgery have been tremendous these last few years. But I know the percentage of corneal transplants that take successfully after a burn like yours is only about five to eight percent, and you've already had one rejection. Aren't you afraid of setting yourself up for even bigger disappointments by not facing even the possibility of what you'll do if this next surgery doesn't work?"
"No," Cody said resolutely.
"Then you're not being very realistic. Or fair to yourself."
"Life isn't fair, in case you haven't noticed."
"No, it's not. But you can at least be fair to yourself even when life throws you a curve."
"What do you look like?" he asked, pulling at the grass clippings that formed a soft blanket on the ground around them.
Thrown by his abrupt change of subject, she said, "Why do you ask?"
He shrugged. "Curiosity, I guess. When I talk to most people, even my doctor, who I met years before losing my vision, I have a picture in my head of what they look like. Even if I can't see them, there is something to call up from my memory. I think I can pretty much figure out what Otis looks like."
Lyssa smirked. "He's much more beautiful than the average dog."
"I'll take your word for it. And I'll bet he's a hell of a kisser, but I'm going to take your word on that too. With you, though, I can't make a picture. It's like a blank slate."
"Well, there you go. I'm a faceless person sent out here to drive you crazy."
That earned her a laugh. A real one that seemed to bubble up from his belly right out into the wind. He had a nice laugh. She wondered if it was something the rest of his family missed hearing from him these last few months.
"I gotta tell you, I'm spending a huge amount of time wondering what you look like."
"You've had some time on your hands, I'll give you that."
Cody groaned. "Too much. I don't like that." His complaint was one of frustration, Lyssa knew. Without knowing Cody all that much, she'd already deduced that he had never been a man to sit idle before the accident. Not if he could help it. Most of what she'd seen on the ranch Cody had had some hand in the making. All this excess time must be driving him more crazy than she ever could.
She shifted to make herself more comfortable in the grass, tucking her legs up underneath her. Although she had no idea how she could get comfortable in this conversation.
"Does it really matter what I look like?" Deep down, Lyssa knew that it did. She'd seen firsthand the moment her eyes opened up to the world, being able to see reaction rather than just sense it. She had forgiven Chad a long time ago for falling for Kim.
And her sister, how could she fault her for being born with the beautiful gene? Somehow in the massive mix of gene distribution, Kim had been blessed with thick, flowing blond hair, enormous blue eyes, and a face with natural beauty that required absolutely no care. Kim transformed a pair of baggy sweatpants into runway fashion in a way Lyssa could only envy.
There were times when Lyssa would look in the mirror and catch the clear blue,
nondescript eyes, straight, sandy blond hair, and simple features, and wonder how the random distribution of genes had passed her by so unfairly. She wasn't ugly by any stretch. She just wasn't beautiful.
She knew it shouldn't matter. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder. But she also knew it did matter to some people. It had mattered to Chad.
Lyssa quietly sighed and decided to stop thinking about Chad and
"Ego has nothing to do with it. And Otis can help you achieve what you want. It has to be better than what you've been going through. I just don't understand why you won't at least give it a try."
"I don't need him. It would be a waste of both his time and yours. This next transplant is going to work."
Lyssa clamped her teeth down on her bottom lip, her own frustration getting the better of her.
"I hope it does, Cody. I really do. The advances in eye surgery have been tremendous these last few years. But I know the percentage of corneal transplants that take successfully after a burn like yours is only about five to eight percent, and you've already had one rejection. Aren't you afraid of setting yourself up for even bigger disappointments by not facing even the possibility of what you'll do if this next surgery doesn't work?"
"No," Cody said resolutely.
"Then you're not being very realistic. Or fair to yourself."
"Life isn't fair, in case you haven't noticed."
"No, it's not. But you can at least be fair to yourself even when life throws you a curve."
"What do you look like?" he asked, pulling at the grass clippings that formed a soft blanket on the ground around them.
Thrown by his abrupt change of subject, she said, "Why do you ask?"
He shrugged. "Curiosity, I guess. When I talk to most people, even my doctor, who I met years before losing my vision, I have a picture in my head of what they look like. Even if I can't see them, there is something to call up from my memory. I think I can pretty much figure out what Otis looks like."
Lyssa smirked. "He's much more beautiful than the average dog."
"I'll take your word for it. And I'll bet he's a hell of a kisser, but I'm going to take your word on that too. With you, though, I can't make a picture. It's like a blank slate."
"Well, there you go. I'm a faceless person sent out here to drive you crazy."
That earned her a laugh. A real one that seemed to bubble up from his belly right out into the wind. He had a nice laugh. She wondered if it was something the rest of his family missed hearing from him these last few months.
"I gotta tell you, I'm spending a huge amount of time wondering what you look like."
"You've had some time on your hands, I'll give you that."
Cody groaned. "Too much. I don't like that." His complaint was one of frustration, Lyssa knew. Without knowing Cody all that much, she'd already deduced that he had never been a man to sit idle before the accident. Not if he could help it. Most of what she'd seen on the ranch Cody had had some hand in the making. All this excess time must be driving him more crazy than she ever could.
She shifted to make herself more comfortable in the grass, tucking her legs up underneath her. Although she had no idea how she could get comfortable in this conversation.
"Does it really matter what I look like?" Deep down, Lyssa knew that it did. She'd seen firsthand the moment her eyes opened up to the world, being able to see reaction rather than just sense it. She had forgiven Chad a long time ago for falling for Kim.
And her sister, how could she fault her for being born with the beautiful gene? Somehow in the massive mix of gene distribution, Kim had been blessed with thick, flowing blond hair, enormous blue eyes, and a face with natural beauty that required absolutely no care. Kim transformed a pair of baggy sweatpants into runway fashion in a way Lyssa could only envy.
There were times when Lyssa would look in the mirror and catch the clear blue,
nondescript eyes, straight, sandy blond hair, and simple features, and wonder how the random distribution of genes had passed her by so unfairly. She wasn't ugly by any stretch. She just wasn't beautiful.
She knew it shouldn't matter. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder. But she also knew it did matter to some people. It had mattered to Chad.
Lyssa quietly sighed and decided to stop thinking about Chad and
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