The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
Authors: Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
Tags: Bestseller
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arms
outstretched.
"What's thestory?" I ask, lookingdownathis back,sosmall againstthewide blackvelvet stripes.
"I wassupposedtobringmytoys."
"Huh."
He climbs up into my lap, snuggling under Tuscan Homes, and helps me turn pages. I feel the softness of his hair under my chin and give his ankle a gentle squeeze. I'm not feeling incredibly motivated to getthis playdatebackontrack.
"Lunch!" we hear called from behind us. "What are you all doing in there? Alex!" Murnel calls off towardhis room. We standup.
"I forgottobringmytoys," Grayer offers. Murnelputsherhandsonherhips.
"That boy. Come on, Grayer, we'll get this straightened out." Grayer and I follow her past the kitchen where something is buzzing loudly. "Hold on, hold on," she says with a sigh. She goes directly to the intercom, asmall boxabove atrayladenwith grilled-cheesesandwichesandslicedfruit.
Shepressesthebutton. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Hasthemotherfuckercalled?" awoman's voice cracklesoutof thewall.
"No,ma'am."
"Goddammit! EversincehefrozemyfuckingcardsI'm supposed
THE NANNY DIARIES
to get a fucking check. How hard is that? I mean, how am I supposed to feed Alex? Fucker. Did you pickup myLaMer?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Murnel picks up the tray and we follow her silently down toAlex's room. I am the last one in. Half the room is completely bare, a line of model cars down the middle serving as impromptu duct tape, and Alex, shirtless and shoeless, paces in front of a stockpile of all his earthly possessions. He halts and looksupatus.
"I toldthefuckerhehastobringhis owntoys."
Nanny,
Please call the caterers and double-check what kind of utensils and linens they. l be bringing forMrXparty. Pleaseseethattheydropoff all thelinensinadvancesoConniecanrewashthem.
Grayer has his St David. interview today, after which I. l be running to a meeting with the florsi. SoMrXwilldrivebyanddropGrayerofftoyouatprecisely1:45ontheNorth-Westcornerof Ninety-fifthandPark.
Please be sure to be standing as close to the curb as possible so that the driver can see you. Please get there by 1:30 just in case they. e early. I. sure this goes without saying, but Mr X shouldnot havetogetoutof the car.
In themeantime, I. l needyoutostartassemblying thefollowingitems forthegiftbags.
Exceptforthechampagne,youshouldbeabletofindmost of theseatGraciousHome.
AnnickGoutalSoap
Piper Heidsieck,small bottle
Morroccoleathtertravelpictureframe,redorgreen
MontBlanc pen?small
LAVENDARWATER
Seeyouat6!
I reread the note, wondering if I'm supposed to pull out my magic decoder ring to figure out how many
of eachitemshewantsmetobuy.
She doesn't answer her cell, so I decide to call Mr. X's office after getting his number off the phone list
postedinsidethepantrydoor.
"What?" heanswers after onering.
"Urn, Mr. X,it's Nanny?
"Who?Howdidyougetthis number?"
"Nanny. I lookafter Grayer?
"Who?"
Unsure how to clarify without seeming impertinent, I barrel on. "Your wife wants me to pick up the
stuffforthegiftbaskets fortheparty?
"Whatparty?Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout?Whoisthis?"
"Onthetwenty-eighth? For theChicagopeople?"
"Mywife toldyoutocall me?" Hesoundsangry.
"No.I justneededtoknowhowmanypeoplearecoming andI couldn't?
"Oh,forcrissake."
Myearfillswith dial tone.
Right.
THE NANNY DIARIES
I walk over to Third, trying to figure out how many of each thing I'm I supposed to buy, as if it were a
logic puzzle. It's a sit-down dinner, so it ) can't be a ton of people, but it must be more than, say, eight, or so, if| she's having caterers and renting tables. I think she's renting three tables j and they probably seatsix or eight each, so that'll be eighteen or twenty-1 four $? either I show up empty-handed tonight or I pick a number. I
Twelve.
I stoP *nfrontof theliquorstore. Twelve. Thatfeelsright.
I lu^ tt16 twelve bottles of Piper Heidsieckto GraciousHome, a -1 housewa?es store, whose twoinitial
branches are bizarrely right across I Third A^611116 fr. each other. They carry everything from
outstretched.
"What's thestory?" I ask, lookingdownathis back,sosmall againstthewide blackvelvet stripes.
"I wassupposedtobringmytoys."
"Huh."
He climbs up into my lap, snuggling under Tuscan Homes, and helps me turn pages. I feel the softness of his hair under my chin and give his ankle a gentle squeeze. I'm not feeling incredibly motivated to getthis playdatebackontrack.
"Lunch!" we hear called from behind us. "What are you all doing in there? Alex!" Murnel calls off towardhis room. We standup.
"I forgottobringmytoys," Grayer offers. Murnelputsherhandsonherhips.
"That boy. Come on, Grayer, we'll get this straightened out." Grayer and I follow her past the kitchen where something is buzzing loudly. "Hold on, hold on," she says with a sigh. She goes directly to the intercom, asmall boxabove atrayladenwith grilled-cheesesandwichesandslicedfruit.
Shepressesthebutton. "Yes, ma'am?"
"Hasthemotherfuckercalled?" awoman's voice cracklesoutof thewall.
"No,ma'am."
"Goddammit! EversincehefrozemyfuckingcardsI'm supposed
THE NANNY DIARIES
to get a fucking check. How hard is that? I mean, how am I supposed to feed Alex? Fucker. Did you pickup myLaMer?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Murnel picks up the tray and we follow her silently down toAlex's room. I am the last one in. Half the room is completely bare, a line of model cars down the middle serving as impromptu duct tape, and Alex, shirtless and shoeless, paces in front of a stockpile of all his earthly possessions. He halts and looksupatus.
"I toldthefuckerhehastobringhis owntoys."
Nanny,
Please call the caterers and double-check what kind of utensils and linens they. l be bringing forMrXparty. Pleaseseethattheydropoff all thelinensinadvancesoConniecanrewashthem.
Grayer has his St David. interview today, after which I. l be running to a meeting with the florsi. SoMrXwilldrivebyanddropGrayerofftoyouatprecisely1:45ontheNorth-Westcornerof Ninety-fifthandPark.
Please be sure to be standing as close to the curb as possible so that the driver can see you. Please get there by 1:30 just in case they. e early. I. sure this goes without saying, but Mr X shouldnot havetogetoutof the car.
In themeantime, I. l needyoutostartassemblying thefollowingitems forthegiftbags.
Exceptforthechampagne,youshouldbeabletofindmost of theseatGraciousHome.
AnnickGoutalSoap
Piper Heidsieck,small bottle
Morroccoleathtertravelpictureframe,redorgreen
MontBlanc pen?small
LAVENDARWATER
Seeyouat6!
I reread the note, wondering if I'm supposed to pull out my magic decoder ring to figure out how many
of eachitemshewantsmetobuy.
She doesn't answer her cell, so I decide to call Mr. X's office after getting his number off the phone list
postedinsidethepantrydoor.
"What?" heanswers after onering.
"Urn, Mr. X,it's Nanny?
"Who?Howdidyougetthis number?"
"Nanny. I lookafter Grayer?
"Who?"
Unsure how to clarify without seeming impertinent, I barrel on. "Your wife wants me to pick up the
stuffforthegiftbaskets fortheparty?
"Whatparty?Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout?Whoisthis?"
"Onthetwenty-eighth? For theChicagopeople?"
"Mywife toldyoutocall me?" Hesoundsangry.
"No.I justneededtoknowhowmanypeoplearecoming andI couldn't?
"Oh,forcrissake."
Myearfillswith dial tone.
Right.
THE NANNY DIARIES
I walk over to Third, trying to figure out how many of each thing I'm I supposed to buy, as if it were a
logic puzzle. It's a sit-down dinner, so it ) can't be a ton of people, but it must be more than, say, eight, or so, if| she's having caterers and renting tables. I think she's renting three tables j and they probably seatsix or eight each, so that'll be eighteen or twenty-1 four $? either I show up empty-handed tonight or I pick a number. I
Twelve.
I stoP *nfrontof theliquorstore. Twelve. Thatfeelsright.
I lu^ tt16 twelve bottles of Piper Heidsieckto GraciousHome, a -1 housewa?es store, whose twoinitial
branches are bizarrely right across I Third A^611116 fr. each other. They carry everything from
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