the
feeling that this disturbed her.
I swallowed,
wondering how old she was. It was disconcerting to know she’d been watching me
but that I had never once seen her. “Sorry. I know it’s been difficult for you,
because of that.”
She shrugged. “He
wants what he cannot have. That has been, and always will be, his flaw.”
“The leader of
this sect?”
Her head gave
a little jiggle that seemed to be a nod.
Jinx folded
his hands and cleared his throat uneasily. “We don’t have much time until they
realize we’re here.”
Petula
continued to look at me, almost as if she were looking at the wall behind me,
smeared and desecrated by her keeper’s rage.
“Ask. I have
been watching you a long while. It is almost comforting to find you here in the
flesh. I very seldom get to meet the ones I follow. Though I am confused about how you came to know I was watching you.”
He attempted a
smile but ended up looking worried. “Earlier, you said that the girl was asleep
and that the others were crying out for her. Who did you mean?”
As if Petula had
been slapped, her watery blue eyes hardened and leveled Jinx with an astounded
glare.
“It’s my
fault,” I whispered. “While you were watching us, I was watching you.”
The blanket
rose and fell with the sudden heaving of her chest. She had gone completely
still, an animal in headlights. I had stepped on her toes, taken her uniqueness
away. For some reason, she felt threatened by that fact. Either that, or she
was faced with reevaluating her position in the world and was embracing
humility.
Now serving
fried crow.
Her mouth
began a slow transformation from lax to sneering. “Her guardians are too
strong.”
Jinx held up a
hand, pleading that I not interrupt again. “We’re not trying to find her. If we
were, we would have,” he said, stretching the truth slightly. “We just want to
know who...and what she is.”
Petula’s lips
continued to twist. “What purpose could this serve?”
I leaned
against the door frame and stuck my ear into the hall. The guards were still
talking, though their conversation had shifted to a rather intellectual
comparison of American Idol to Star Search . I would have snorted,
but the humor of it was lost on me at present. We were wasting time with an
uncooperative know-it-all, and soon we would be in danger, too.
“It would set
my mind at ease,” I muttered.
She didn’t
even look at me. “I cannot tell you anything. To do so would put me in
jeopardy.”
“We can keep
you safe,” Jinx insisted, but his compassion did nothing for her. She seemed
close to laughter.
“Safe?” A
shake of her head dislodged the blanket. “I am safe.”
“Safe from
him.” He reached for her, but she pulled away. His fingers curled, and, as if
they had her on a string, she tilted toward him.
“No,” she
whispered, her voice drowned in some inner wellspring of suffering. “He is
easily managed.”
“You want to
live like this?” He gestured at the tiny, dark room filled with outdated,
broken remnants of a person she had not been for a very long time. “We can set
you free.”
She gasped,
retreating from him into the open arms of her chair, blanket twisted around her
like a cocoon. “No! You know what it’s like. You’ve seen it! You can’t take me
out there, I won’t go!”
I could hear
the terror in her frantic tone. Jinx had been wrong. She was not a prisoner. She lived in the safe house.
“I can’t take
it anymore. You have to help me,” William had said.
I took a deep
breath. Of course she was afraid. She was a little girl, frozen in that
defenseless guise for centuries but facing the same horrors that William had,
with none of his training. It was no wonder. In that moment, as I looked at
her, I didn’t see the waif. I saw Eva, cowering in our parents’ closet,
refusing to speak or look me in the eye to ask me why Mommy and Daddy were
never coming home.
“Jinx,” I said
quietly, suddenly understanding
feeling that this disturbed her.
I swallowed,
wondering how old she was. It was disconcerting to know she’d been watching me
but that I had never once seen her. “Sorry. I know it’s been difficult for you,
because of that.”
She shrugged. “He
wants what he cannot have. That has been, and always will be, his flaw.”
“The leader of
this sect?”
Her head gave
a little jiggle that seemed to be a nod.
Jinx folded
his hands and cleared his throat uneasily. “We don’t have much time until they
realize we’re here.”
Petula
continued to look at me, almost as if she were looking at the wall behind me,
smeared and desecrated by her keeper’s rage.
“Ask. I have
been watching you a long while. It is almost comforting to find you here in the
flesh. I very seldom get to meet the ones I follow. Though I am confused about how you came to know I was watching you.”
He attempted a
smile but ended up looking worried. “Earlier, you said that the girl was asleep
and that the others were crying out for her. Who did you mean?”
As if Petula had
been slapped, her watery blue eyes hardened and leveled Jinx with an astounded
glare.
“It’s my
fault,” I whispered. “While you were watching us, I was watching you.”
The blanket
rose and fell with the sudden heaving of her chest. She had gone completely
still, an animal in headlights. I had stepped on her toes, taken her uniqueness
away. For some reason, she felt threatened by that fact. Either that, or she
was faced with reevaluating her position in the world and was embracing
humility.
Now serving
fried crow.
Her mouth
began a slow transformation from lax to sneering. “Her guardians are too
strong.”
Jinx held up a
hand, pleading that I not interrupt again. “We’re not trying to find her. If we
were, we would have,” he said, stretching the truth slightly. “We just want to
know who...and what she is.”
Petula’s lips
continued to twist. “What purpose could this serve?”
I leaned
against the door frame and stuck my ear into the hall. The guards were still
talking, though their conversation had shifted to a rather intellectual
comparison of American Idol to Star Search . I would have snorted,
but the humor of it was lost on me at present. We were wasting time with an
uncooperative know-it-all, and soon we would be in danger, too.
“It would set
my mind at ease,” I muttered.
She didn’t
even look at me. “I cannot tell you anything. To do so would put me in
jeopardy.”
“We can keep
you safe,” Jinx insisted, but his compassion did nothing for her. She seemed
close to laughter.
“Safe?” A
shake of her head dislodged the blanket. “I am safe.”
“Safe from
him.” He reached for her, but she pulled away. His fingers curled, and, as if
they had her on a string, she tilted toward him.
“No,” she
whispered, her voice drowned in some inner wellspring of suffering. “He is
easily managed.”
“You want to
live like this?” He gestured at the tiny, dark room filled with outdated,
broken remnants of a person she had not been for a very long time. “We can set
you free.”
She gasped,
retreating from him into the open arms of her chair, blanket twisted around her
like a cocoon. “No! You know what it’s like. You’ve seen it! You can’t take me
out there, I won’t go!”
I could hear
the terror in her frantic tone. Jinx had been wrong. She was not a prisoner. She lived in the safe house.
“I can’t take
it anymore. You have to help me,” William had said.
I took a deep
breath. Of course she was afraid. She was a little girl, frozen in that
defenseless guise for centuries but facing the same horrors that William had,
with none of his training. It was no wonder. In that moment, as I looked at
her, I didn’t see the waif. I saw Eva, cowering in our parents’ closet,
refusing to speak or look me in the eye to ask me why Mommy and Daddy were
never coming home.
“Jinx,” I said
quietly, suddenly understanding
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