The Perfect Storm: A True Story of Men Against the Sea by Sebastian Junger

bottle clenched in one big hand and is still muttering about not wanting to go. Sully's saying the same thing; he's in a yellow slicker over by the pool table telling Bugsy how he's got a bad feeling about this trip. It's the money, he says; if I didn't need the money I wouldn't go near this thing.
    Okay you guys, Billy says. One last drink. Everyone downs one last drink. Okay, one more, someone says. Everyone has one more. Bobby's drinking tequila. He's standing by Chris looking down at the floor and she's holding his hand and neither of them is saying much. Sully comes over and asks if they're going to be okay. Chris says, Sure, we'll be fine and then she says: Actually, I'm not sure. Actually, no, I don't think so.
    Six men are leaving for a month and it feels as if things are shearing off into a new and empty direction from which they may never return. Ethel, trying to maintain her composure, goes around the room hugging all the men. The only person she doesn't hug is Alfred because she doesn't know him well enough. Bobby asks his mother if they can take the color TV above the bar. If it's okay with Billy, she says.
    Billy looks up. Ethel, he says, they can take the TV, but if they watch it instead of doin' their work it's goin' straight overboard.
    That's fine, Billy, that's fine, Ethel says.
    Billy's girlfriend sees Bobby's shiner under the brim of his Budweiser cap and glances over at Chris. She's of the old school where ladies don't slug their men.
    You northern gals, she says.
    I didn't mean it, says Chris. It was a mistake.
    It's now way too late for anyone to back out. Not in the literal sense—any one of them could still take off running out the door—but people don't work like that. More or less, they do what others expect them to. If one of the crew backed out now he'd sit around for a month and then either go to a welcome-home party or a memorial service. Either would be horrible in its own way. Half the crew have misgivings about this trip, but they're going anyhow; they've crossed some invisible line, and now even the most desperate premonitions won't save them. Tyne, Pierre, Sullivan, Moran, Murphy, and Shatford are going to the Grand Banks on the Andrea Gail.
    Okay, Billy says. Let's go.
    Everyone files out the big wooden door. The rain has stopped and there are even a few scraps of clear sky off to the west. Pale, late-summer blue. Chris and Bobby get into her Volvo and Alfred and his girlfriend get into their car and everyone else walks. They cross Rogers Street through the impatient stream of Friday afternoon traffic and then angle down through the gate in the chain-link fence. There are fuel tanks on iron scaffolds behind Rose's, and small boats up with tarps over them, and a battered sign that says "Carter's Boat Yard." One of the fuel tanks has a pair of humpback whales painted on it. Chris drives past the little group, tires crunching on the gravel, and comes to a stop in front of the Andrea Gail. The boat is tied up to a small piece of wharf behind Old Port Seafoods, next to the fire boat and a dockside fuel pump. Bobby looks over at her.
    I don't want to do this, he says. I really don't.
    Chris is holding onto him in the front seat of her Volvo, with everything she owns in the back. Well don't go then, she says. Well fuck it. Don't go.
    I got to go. The money; I got to.
    Billy Tyne walks over and leans in the window. You gonna be all right? he asks. Chris nods her head. Bobby is really starting to fight the tears and he looks away so that Billy doesn't see. Okay, Billy says to Chris. We'll see you when we get back. He walks across the dock and jumps down onto the deck of the boat. Then Sully comes over. He's known Bobby most of his life—without Bobby he probably wouldn't even have taken the trip—and he's worried about him now. Worried that somehow Bobby isn't going to make it, that the trip's a huge mistake. Are you two okay? he says. Are you sure?
    Yeah, we're okay, says Chris. We just need a