bring my open hand down hard on the dash.
Lazarus bites his lip and stares straight ahead in a daze. It’s the first time I’ve seen him look helpless. He shakes his head and opens the door. Then he looks over at me one last time.
“Mickey, I…”
“Go!” I scream like a maniac. This time he does. He climbs out of the car and closes the door. I watch him cross the street to where his car is parked, shoulders hunched and defeated. I wrap the sleeping bag around me. Good, I tell myself. I’m glad he’s gone. I hope I never see him again for as long as I live. The glare of his headlights across the street cuts through the darkness and his car pulls away. I watch in the rear view as the red taillights grow smaller and smaller.
And then all that’s left is the empty blackness.
Chapter Eleven
“I’m sorry you got fired,” Liz says, leaning sympathetically over the table. Still, she doesn’t look surprised. “If there’s anything I can do to help. If you need to borrow money…”
“I’m okay,” I say quickly before she can follow that line any further. I’ve agreed to let her take me to lunch, but I’m not going to start shaking down my friends for cash. I never have before and I have no plans to start now. After all, I’m just where I started a couple months ago.
Liz called in the morning asking if I could meet her for lunch. Of course, I had nothing else to do with my day, so we agreed to have sandwiches at little hole-in-the-wall near her work. I was surprised to see her looking so thin, her eyes lifeless. Her blond hair is pulled into a slightly greasy ponytail and her work clothes are unusually plain. She’s taking the breakup hard, I think.
“What are you going to do?” she asks, rigorously stirring her ice tea as if it were cake batter. “Are you looking for work?”
I shrug. “I have one lead. We’ll see.”
“Admin stuff?”
“Design work, actually.”
Liz raises her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
I shake my head and bite into my BLT. “It’s stupid. Probably will never happen. Besides, I’m too superstitious to talk about it.” I give her a smile. “How’s your work?”
Liz sighs and leans back against her chair. “Fine,” she says, her eyes blankly gazing out the window to the street. Then she looks at me. “I miss him.”
I reach across the table and put a hand on her arm. She tenses, as if my touch was a terrible sensation, then pulls her arm out of my reach. Confused, I lean back and study her carefully. I realize for the first time that, in spite of her kind words and generous offers, Liz’s expression is dark and unfamiliar.
“What’s wrong, Liz?”
But she just shakes her head and waves it away. “Nothing.”
She’s just depressed, I think. Everyone deals with it differently. I’m no stranger to withdrawing from the world when things get bad. Still, she’s the one who called to invite me out.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Liz gives me a pointed look. “Are you saying you don’t know? Didn’t you talk to Travis?”
“Only long enough for him to tell me you broke up. He didn’t say why.”
“Of course he didn’t,” she mutters bitterly.
I cock my head and furrow my brow, befuddled by her behavior. “What’s going on? Why does it feel like you’re mad at me? I’m not involved in this.”
“Oh, aren’t you?”
I’m starting to get annoyed with all of her answers being questions. The waitress sidles up with the pitcher of ice tea and fills both our glasses, and I bite my lip to stop myself from blurting out what I want to say. When she’s gone, I lean over the table.
“What the fuck, Liz?” I whisper loudly. “Stop playing this stupid game and just fucking tell me already!”
“He’s in love with you, okay?” She practically spits it out, and then she buries her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Mickey. It’s not your fault. I know it’s
Lazarus bites his lip and stares straight ahead in a daze. It’s the first time I’ve seen him look helpless. He shakes his head and opens the door. Then he looks over at me one last time.
“Mickey, I…”
“Go!” I scream like a maniac. This time he does. He climbs out of the car and closes the door. I watch him cross the street to where his car is parked, shoulders hunched and defeated. I wrap the sleeping bag around me. Good, I tell myself. I’m glad he’s gone. I hope I never see him again for as long as I live. The glare of his headlights across the street cuts through the darkness and his car pulls away. I watch in the rear view as the red taillights grow smaller and smaller.
And then all that’s left is the empty blackness.
Chapter Eleven
“I’m sorry you got fired,” Liz says, leaning sympathetically over the table. Still, she doesn’t look surprised. “If there’s anything I can do to help. If you need to borrow money…”
“I’m okay,” I say quickly before she can follow that line any further. I’ve agreed to let her take me to lunch, but I’m not going to start shaking down my friends for cash. I never have before and I have no plans to start now. After all, I’m just where I started a couple months ago.
Liz called in the morning asking if I could meet her for lunch. Of course, I had nothing else to do with my day, so we agreed to have sandwiches at little hole-in-the-wall near her work. I was surprised to see her looking so thin, her eyes lifeless. Her blond hair is pulled into a slightly greasy ponytail and her work clothes are unusually plain. She’s taking the breakup hard, I think.
“What are you going to do?” she asks, rigorously stirring her ice tea as if it were cake batter. “Are you looking for work?”
I shrug. “I have one lead. We’ll see.”
“Admin stuff?”
“Design work, actually.”
Liz raises her eyebrows. “Seriously?”
I shake my head and bite into my BLT. “It’s stupid. Probably will never happen. Besides, I’m too superstitious to talk about it.” I give her a smile. “How’s your work?”
Liz sighs and leans back against her chair. “Fine,” she says, her eyes blankly gazing out the window to the street. Then she looks at me. “I miss him.”
I reach across the table and put a hand on her arm. She tenses, as if my touch was a terrible sensation, then pulls her arm out of my reach. Confused, I lean back and study her carefully. I realize for the first time that, in spite of her kind words and generous offers, Liz’s expression is dark and unfamiliar.
“What’s wrong, Liz?”
But she just shakes her head and waves it away. “Nothing.”
She’s just depressed, I think. Everyone deals with it differently. I’m no stranger to withdrawing from the world when things get bad. Still, she’s the one who called to invite me out.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Liz gives me a pointed look. “Are you saying you don’t know? Didn’t you talk to Travis?”
“Only long enough for him to tell me you broke up. He didn’t say why.”
“Of course he didn’t,” she mutters bitterly.
I cock my head and furrow my brow, befuddled by her behavior. “What’s going on? Why does it feel like you’re mad at me? I’m not involved in this.”
“Oh, aren’t you?”
I’m starting to get annoyed with all of her answers being questions. The waitress sidles up with the pitcher of ice tea and fills both our glasses, and I bite my lip to stop myself from blurting out what I want to say. When she’s gone, I lean over the table.
“What the fuck, Liz?” I whisper loudly. “Stop playing this stupid game and just fucking tell me already!”
“He’s in love with you, okay?” She practically spits it out, and then she buries her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Mickey. It’s not your fault. I know it’s
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