pic!
Love
Charley xx
5
There! What do you think of that, Mildred?
I did it!
Jumped the gun, surprised myself even, and now I’m in disgrace, quacks tut- tutting and feeding me pills, matron’s bosom heaving like Moby Dick in a hurricane, Cap on the phone, spitting blood, and calling me a stupid infantile prat, and saying the only clothes she’ll be bringing me’s a change of nappies!
But it were worth it.
I think.
Can’t say it’s done me a lot of good, but. To tell truth, I’m feeling a lot worse now than when I arrived here!
And I can’t even take credit for putting together a cunning plan.
In fact, there were no plan at all.
Today the weather were so nice, they suggested I have my lunch outside. The grub’s pretty good, all fresh local stuff nicely cooked, but they don’t exactly pile your plate up. When I asked if I could have a pint of ale to wash it down, the lass serving me said, “Couple of days, maybe, Mr. Dalziel. You’re still on assessment. No alcohol till your diet sheet’s been finalized, that’s the rule.”
She smiled as she said it, a real smile, nowt made up about it. I smiled back. Weren’t her fault, and she was a nice lass with a lovely bum which I admired as she walked away. But it did piss me off a bit, specially as I looked around the terrace where I was sitting and saw half a dozen old farts at another table supping vino and wearing real clothes, like they were on holiday on the Costa Saga.
But sod it, I thought. No reason not being dressed for dinner should T H E P R I C E O F B U T C H E R ’ S M E AT 4 1
stop me taking a stroll around to explore the place. They’ve started me on physio with Tony down in this little gym. Queer as a clockwork orange, but he knows his stuff, and though I’m still a long way off Olympic qualifying, I’m feeling a lot lisher than when I came.
I checked there were no one looking, then stood up and went down the steps from the terrace with a lot of care. Didn’t fancy breaking me other leg!
Once on the lawn, I just meant to have a bit of a wander, but I’m still best in a straight line and as I’d got up a fair head of speed, I just kept going with the house at my back till I found myself plowing through some shrubbery.
Here I stopped and checked back. The house were out of sight.
That would get the buggers worrying, I thought. Bit childish, mebbe.
But if they’re going to treat me like a kid, I might as well enjoy myself like one!
So on I went till finally I came up against the boundary hedge.
Thick and thorny. Good for keeping intruders out. And prisoners in!
I wandered along it for a while. I were beginning to feel knackered now and I was just thinking of setting off back when I spotted this gap.
Not a gap really. Just the point where two sections of hedge met but without getting all intertwined.
I heard a car go by on the road. The road that led into Sandytown.
The road to freedom.
I felt a sudden urge to take a look at it.
And why not? I thought. I’m not a prisoner! And my dressing gown’s one of the thick old tweedy kind, none of them flimsy cotton kimonos or whatever they call them.
So I took a bit of a run, or mebbe a slow trot’s nearer the mark, and got my shoulder into the breach.
Before my spot of bother I’ d have walked through here, no trouble.
But it turned out to be narrower than it looked and for a moment I thought mebbe I was going to get stuck and end up shouting for help.
4 2
R E G I N A L D H I L L
Didn’t fancy that, so I gave one last heave and burst through onto the roadside verge.
Except it weren’t the kind of verge I expected, nice and flat and grassy. Instead it were a steep bank that fell away to the tarmac about twenty feet below.
No way of stopping. All I could do was try to remember all I’d learnt about falling, and curl up tight and try to roll. It were sod’s law that there should be a car coming down the hill exactly at that moment. I had time to think, Whatever
Love
Charley xx
5
There! What do you think of that, Mildred?
I did it!
Jumped the gun, surprised myself even, and now I’m in disgrace, quacks tut- tutting and feeding me pills, matron’s bosom heaving like Moby Dick in a hurricane, Cap on the phone, spitting blood, and calling me a stupid infantile prat, and saying the only clothes she’ll be bringing me’s a change of nappies!
But it were worth it.
I think.
Can’t say it’s done me a lot of good, but. To tell truth, I’m feeling a lot worse now than when I arrived here!
And I can’t even take credit for putting together a cunning plan.
In fact, there were no plan at all.
Today the weather were so nice, they suggested I have my lunch outside. The grub’s pretty good, all fresh local stuff nicely cooked, but they don’t exactly pile your plate up. When I asked if I could have a pint of ale to wash it down, the lass serving me said, “Couple of days, maybe, Mr. Dalziel. You’re still on assessment. No alcohol till your diet sheet’s been finalized, that’s the rule.”
She smiled as she said it, a real smile, nowt made up about it. I smiled back. Weren’t her fault, and she was a nice lass with a lovely bum which I admired as she walked away. But it did piss me off a bit, specially as I looked around the terrace where I was sitting and saw half a dozen old farts at another table supping vino and wearing real clothes, like they were on holiday on the Costa Saga.
But sod it, I thought. No reason not being dressed for dinner should T H E P R I C E O F B U T C H E R ’ S M E AT 4 1
stop me taking a stroll around to explore the place. They’ve started me on physio with Tony down in this little gym. Queer as a clockwork orange, but he knows his stuff, and though I’m still a long way off Olympic qualifying, I’m feeling a lot lisher than when I came.
I checked there were no one looking, then stood up and went down the steps from the terrace with a lot of care. Didn’t fancy breaking me other leg!
Once on the lawn, I just meant to have a bit of a wander, but I’m still best in a straight line and as I’d got up a fair head of speed, I just kept going with the house at my back till I found myself plowing through some shrubbery.
Here I stopped and checked back. The house were out of sight.
That would get the buggers worrying, I thought. Bit childish, mebbe.
But if they’re going to treat me like a kid, I might as well enjoy myself like one!
So on I went till finally I came up against the boundary hedge.
Thick and thorny. Good for keeping intruders out. And prisoners in!
I wandered along it for a while. I were beginning to feel knackered now and I was just thinking of setting off back when I spotted this gap.
Not a gap really. Just the point where two sections of hedge met but without getting all intertwined.
I heard a car go by on the road. The road that led into Sandytown.
The road to freedom.
I felt a sudden urge to take a look at it.
And why not? I thought. I’m not a prisoner! And my dressing gown’s one of the thick old tweedy kind, none of them flimsy cotton kimonos or whatever they call them.
So I took a bit of a run, or mebbe a slow trot’s nearer the mark, and got my shoulder into the breach.
Before my spot of bother I’ d have walked through here, no trouble.
But it turned out to be narrower than it looked and for a moment I thought mebbe I was going to get stuck and end up shouting for help.
4 2
R E G I N A L D H I L L
Didn’t fancy that, so I gave one last heave and burst through onto the roadside verge.
Except it weren’t the kind of verge I expected, nice and flat and grassy. Instead it were a steep bank that fell away to the tarmac about twenty feet below.
No way of stopping. All I could do was try to remember all I’d learnt about falling, and curl up tight and try to roll. It were sod’s law that there should be a car coming down the hill exactly at that moment. I had time to think, Whatever
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