that is so embarrassing.
He smiles again. "And for letting me be here with you. Speaking of which, why did she make me leave only to have me come back in?" I look down from his penetrating blue-green eyes. "Tell me," he pleads.
"She saw me flinch when you touched my hand. She was concerned that you were the reason I was here the last time."
His face grows pale, and I feel his whole body go cold as he realizes why I was here a couple of months ago.
"I told him I was pregnant and he didn't like that very much. He took it out on me," I whisper.
"Fuck!" he spats, and I can feel his body start to tremble.
I can't look at him. I'm so ashamed. Ashamed of the fact that I was beaten, that Riley beat me whenever he felt like it. Ashamed that I let it happen more than once. I start to cry.
"I'm going to touch your head,” Mikah says, finally getting why I flinch every time he touches me unexpectedly. “I want to..."
But I don’t want his comforting. I feel the anger radiating from him, and though I know it’s not directed at me, my broken spirit is already trying to push him away, to undo the intimacy between us. "It's okay. I'm okay," I sob.
"Like hell you are. I'm not going to hurt you or hit you. I would never – will never do anything to harm you. Ever." His voice is full of conviction.
I squeeze my eyes tight against the tears, willing them to stop, but I can't seem to control them. Then I feel his hand resting lightly against the top of my head. So light that I almost can't feel it. Then slowly, steadily, he starts to caress my head, stroking my hair. The movement is methodical, but it doesn't feel empty. My scalp tingles as goose bumps rise across it, then my neck, down my back and across my arms. My heart beats faster, keeping the machine busy with each pump and flutter.
He shifts closer to me. Keeping our hands entwined, he puts his head down on the pillow next to mine. "Please don't cry," he says quietly. His breath warms my cheek.
My heart continues to flutter, and a warm tingling sensation runs through my body, wrapping me in a feeling of comfort, safety, and an inexplicable need for his touch.
"Please, don't stop," I say softly.
"Never."
NINE
I wake up to a nurse coming in with a whole lot of stuff. Something that looks like a T.V. and a tray filled with vials.
"Hi, Vivienne. I'm Amanda. I'll be your nurse. I'm here to take your blood and get you set up with an IV. Once that's done, we will get you ready for your ultrasound. How are you feeling?"
"Tired," I groan. When I cry, it drains me completely and I just want to sleep. I think it is more of an escape-from-reality kind of thing than a physical need for sleep.
Mikah laughs. "She was sleeping when you came in," he says from much closer to my head than I expected. He’s still stroking my hair, and his other thumb is rubbing along the back of my hand.
"Good. Sorry I woke you."
"It's okay."
I watch as she sets her tray of vials down on the table and starts going in for what she needs. As soon as she pulls out a tourniquet I roll toward Mikah, not wanting to see what she's about to do.
"I understand you're not a fan of needles. I'm going to do my best to not hurt you. I've been told I'm pretty good at being gentle." I nod. "Left arm, I take it?"
I nod again and she lifts my left arm, pulling it back slightly so it’s out of my line of sight.
"Look at me," Mikah says.
I lift my chin upwards and find his piercing green eyes on me. That's strange; earlier they were more of a blue-green, but now they’re almost completely green. Emerald. Almost like he put contacts in while I was sleeping.
The monitor sputters again. He smiles wide, and Nurse Fang — as I’m calling her in my head — has the tourniquet around my arm. I flinch as the needle pierces my skin.
"Long. Deep. Breath." I do as Mikah says and inhale slowly.
While it doesn't hurt, I can feel her shifting the needle
He smiles again. "And for letting me be here with you. Speaking of which, why did she make me leave only to have me come back in?" I look down from his penetrating blue-green eyes. "Tell me," he pleads.
"She saw me flinch when you touched my hand. She was concerned that you were the reason I was here the last time."
His face grows pale, and I feel his whole body go cold as he realizes why I was here a couple of months ago.
"I told him I was pregnant and he didn't like that very much. He took it out on me," I whisper.
"Fuck!" he spats, and I can feel his body start to tremble.
I can't look at him. I'm so ashamed. Ashamed of the fact that I was beaten, that Riley beat me whenever he felt like it. Ashamed that I let it happen more than once. I start to cry.
"I'm going to touch your head,” Mikah says, finally getting why I flinch every time he touches me unexpectedly. “I want to..."
But I don’t want his comforting. I feel the anger radiating from him, and though I know it’s not directed at me, my broken spirit is already trying to push him away, to undo the intimacy between us. "It's okay. I'm okay," I sob.
"Like hell you are. I'm not going to hurt you or hit you. I would never – will never do anything to harm you. Ever." His voice is full of conviction.
I squeeze my eyes tight against the tears, willing them to stop, but I can't seem to control them. Then I feel his hand resting lightly against the top of my head. So light that I almost can't feel it. Then slowly, steadily, he starts to caress my head, stroking my hair. The movement is methodical, but it doesn't feel empty. My scalp tingles as goose bumps rise across it, then my neck, down my back and across my arms. My heart beats faster, keeping the machine busy with each pump and flutter.
He shifts closer to me. Keeping our hands entwined, he puts his head down on the pillow next to mine. "Please don't cry," he says quietly. His breath warms my cheek.
My heart continues to flutter, and a warm tingling sensation runs through my body, wrapping me in a feeling of comfort, safety, and an inexplicable need for his touch.
"Please, don't stop," I say softly.
"Never."
NINE
I wake up to a nurse coming in with a whole lot of stuff. Something that looks like a T.V. and a tray filled with vials.
"Hi, Vivienne. I'm Amanda. I'll be your nurse. I'm here to take your blood and get you set up with an IV. Once that's done, we will get you ready for your ultrasound. How are you feeling?"
"Tired," I groan. When I cry, it drains me completely and I just want to sleep. I think it is more of an escape-from-reality kind of thing than a physical need for sleep.
Mikah laughs. "She was sleeping when you came in," he says from much closer to my head than I expected. He’s still stroking my hair, and his other thumb is rubbing along the back of my hand.
"Good. Sorry I woke you."
"It's okay."
I watch as she sets her tray of vials down on the table and starts going in for what she needs. As soon as she pulls out a tourniquet I roll toward Mikah, not wanting to see what she's about to do.
"I understand you're not a fan of needles. I'm going to do my best to not hurt you. I've been told I'm pretty good at being gentle." I nod. "Left arm, I take it?"
I nod again and she lifts my left arm, pulling it back slightly so it’s out of my line of sight.
"Look at me," Mikah says.
I lift my chin upwards and find his piercing green eyes on me. That's strange; earlier they were more of a blue-green, but now they’re almost completely green. Emerald. Almost like he put contacts in while I was sleeping.
The monitor sputters again. He smiles wide, and Nurse Fang — as I’m calling her in my head — has the tourniquet around my arm. I flinch as the needle pierces my skin.
"Long. Deep. Breath." I do as Mikah says and inhale slowly.
While it doesn't hurt, I can feel her shifting the needle
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