The Spinster Sisters by Stacey Ballis

minutes about her life in Vietnam, her study of the culture, her desire to return with Brant and show him her village. She talks a blue streak. And she has one primary topic: herself. We hear the entire story of how she and Brant met. We hear how she was a clarinet player of such caliber that she was recruited by the army to play in one of their orchestras, and that was how she paid for college. We heard about her privileged Jewish upbringing in Savannah, Georgia, and her subsequent estrangement from her family. She flops around on my couch, posing and posturing and letting one bit of information about herself lead into the next in a manner that practically sucks all the oxygen from the room. Brant sits on the chair, this strange look of pride and nervousness on his face.
    What the hell is he thinking? I look at the clock over the television. It’s ten thirty. They’ve been here for a half hour. Mallory has not asked either Paige or me anything about ourselves. Nor has Brant participated in the conversation. It’s been a monologue on the wonders of Mallory and her exciting and dramatic life. All I want is to find out if the mother penguins make it back to the daddy penguins in time to feed the baby penguins so that they don’t die. Mallory pauses to take a breath, and I jump on the break to say, “That’s very interesting. You know, I feel bad; I invited Paige over to watch this movie, and we still have a half hour left. You guys are welcome to stay and watch with us, but I think we’ll get back to it.”
    “Oh no, we couldn’t,” says Mallory. “We have shul in the morning.”
    “Shul?” I ask Brant.
    “Shul,” he says.
    “Orthodox shul? With the curtain down the middle and all the Hebrew?” I ask.
    “Yes,” he says.
    “What’s that mean?” asks Paige.
    “Apparently, it means my ex-husband has converted to Judaism,” I say.
    Actually, Brant is technically Jewish. His mother was the granddaughter of a rabbi. But she gave it up when she married his Episcopalian father, and he was raised essentially without religion. He always referred to his family as humanist agnostic. He absorbed the Spingold traditions while we were married, celebrating the holidays with our usual focus on food and not so much on God. But still, it was more observant than he had been growing up. Looks like Mallory is having an even greater spiritual influence.
    “Well then, don’t let us keep you,” I say, rising to walk Brant and Mallory to the door.
    “It was very nice to meet you,” she says, slipping back into her clogs.
    “Likewise,” I say. “I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
    “Thanks, Jodi,” says Brant. “I’ll call you this week.”
    “Okay, talk to you later,” I say.
    I close the door and hear them heading down the stairs. Brant always walked like a herd of elephants, so I can hear his footsteps all the way down to the bottom. I go to the front window and see them exit the building and head out to Brant’s beat-up car. I go back to the living room and sit down.
    “What. The fuck. Was that?” says Paige.
    “I have no idea.” I sigh.
    “Did you know they were coming?”
    “Of course not. Don’t you think I would’ve mentioned it?”
    “So he just showed up here unannounced with his new girlfriend. At ten P.M. on a Friday night.” Paige looks gobsmacked.
    “It certainly looks that way.”
    “You realize she did everything except piss on your furniture,” Paige says.
    “Yes, I noticed that.”
    “And what the hell was that big long speech about her life and her fabulous years as the queen of Vietnam, and how smart she is and how everything has been difficult for her, but she’s risen above it?” Paige is building a head of steam.
    “I couldn’t begin to tell you.”
    “And what was with needing to have a tour? And taking her shoes off and flopping all over your couch?” Paige takes a breath. “Jodi. I swear to God, if you would’ve come in to work on Monday and explained what just